CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 148 "Solace"A collection of poetry
138 total reviews
Comment from mindseye
Perfect! As I read this poem I felt strong emotions; someone who is truly jaded. It is written very elegantly and flows smoothly. The rhyme scheme seems very natural (that is something I really appreciate in a poem). Well Done!
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Perfect! As I read this poem I felt strong emotions; someone who is truly jaded. It is written very elegantly and flows smoothly. The rhyme scheme seems very natural (that is something I really appreciate in a poem). Well Done!
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Mindseye, thank you for your generous review and your specific comments. So much appreciated! Very glad you enjoyed my work. Warmest regards, Sue
Comment from Kate Austin
Love it!
Hope the following is helpful, I use syllable counting, so I added a few to match your lines.
You may have left out commas, as I notice some poets do, is capitalization of each line intentional? As I read you poem I was enrolled in your emotion, great job! Some alternative descriptive words if they work for you:
preoccupied, laydened, weary would be descriptive in terms of feelings of the heart. Bring/offer in lieu of give. Just some thoughts!
Enjoyed reading your material.
Kate
Vulnerable, so/and tired
In need of an embrace
With strong arms, (and)/ your deep heart
You take me from that place
Come and rest with me now 6 syllable
In spirit, not a word
I give (to) you no burden 6 syllable
My breath is all that's heard
My mind has been heavy
The path has been unkind
I whisper none of this
As now, it's left behind
For only with your touch
Am I in this calm space
And when you are in need
I'm there with my embrace
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Love it!
Hope the following is helpful, I use syllable counting, so I added a few to match your lines.
You may have left out commas, as I notice some poets do, is capitalization of each line intentional? As I read you poem I was enrolled in your emotion, great job! Some alternative descriptive words if they work for you:
preoccupied, laydened, weary would be descriptive in terms of feelings of the heart. Bring/offer in lieu of give. Just some thoughts!
Enjoyed reading your material.
Kate
Vulnerable, so/and tired
In need of an embrace
With strong arms, (and)/ your deep heart
You take me from that place
Come and rest with me now 6 syllable
In spirit, not a word
I give (to) you no burden 6 syllable
My breath is all that's heard
My mind has been heavy
The path has been unkind
I whisper none of this
As now, it's left behind
For only with your touch
Am I in this calm space
And when you are in need
I'm there with my embrace
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
Comment from rmdelta
6teezkid,
A wonderful poem, so gently and sweet. Excellent wording and your stanzas flow so effortlessly, taking us on a nice smooth journey through your words. Well done, 6teezkid.
Reggie
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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6teezkid,
A wonderful poem, so gently and sweet. Excellent wording and your stanzas flow so effortlessly, taking us on a nice smooth journey through your words. Well done, 6teezkid.
Reggie
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Reggie, thank you so much for this generous review and your lovely comments! So glad you enjoyed my poem. Warmest regards, Sue
Comment from PoesyPoet
Sometimes, just a hug or a person being there for you is all that's needed...not a word need be said. I like this one a lot.
PP
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Sometimes, just a hug or a person being there for you is all that's needed...not a word need be said. I like this one a lot.
PP
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Poesy, thank you for your most generous review and your comments. Yes! Sometimes no words! Just the quiet, the calm and an embrace. So glad you liked it. With regards, Sue
Comment from Alexander E Poet
This is incredibly beautiful. I love poetry Like this its natural Very descriptive and full of imagery and life refreshing with good imagery Poetry very well done There were no errors. Or No typos. I got my eye on you. I Would change. I look forward to your next poem
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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This is incredibly beautiful. I love poetry Like this its natural Very descriptive and full of imagery and life refreshing with good imagery Poetry very well done There were no errors. Or No typos. I got my eye on you. I Would change. I look forward to your next poem
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Hi Brqqlyn! Thank you so much for your very generous review and comments! I would LOVE for you to have your eye on me! Ha!! My other 2 poems were just taken off the review page. If you liked this one, perhaps you would want to read "New Steps" and "Peace, Sweet Peace". And I'm going to go read some of yours now. With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from jenelleish
This is a very deep poem, but the readers can clearly read in between the lines and guess the hidden meanings because of the words that you used. Great job.
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This is a very deep poem, but the readers can clearly read in between the lines and guess the hidden meanings because of the words that you used. Great job.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
Comment from lathunder
I loved it. I thought it was very tender and sad. It flowed beautifully and the meaning almost made me cry. Thanks for sharing this.
L.A.Thunder
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I loved it. I thought it was very tender and sad. It flowed beautifully and the meaning almost made me cry. Thanks for sharing this.
L.A.Thunder
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is really quite lovely,
a first-rate piece of verse,
with a smooth soothing flow
to the words.
A real pleasure to review.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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This is really quite lovely,
a first-rate piece of verse,
with a smooth soothing flow
to the words.
A real pleasure to review.
Margaret.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Margaret, I thank you very much for your most generous review and comments. I am so glad you enjoyed it! With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from Ginny
The healing warmth of an embrace. No words needed in that moment. Yes, you have conveyed both the need and the mood in few words. I like the idea of
"I give to you no burden
My breath is all that's heard"
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The healing warmth of an embrace. No words needed in that moment. Yes, you have conveyed both the need and the mood in few words. I like the idea of
"I give to you no burden
My breath is all that's heard"
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
Comment from Kazz
Nice work. I like the line breaks, very effective. Your word choice is eloquent. I would love to see this piece done without rhyme but just pure imagery...that would really pack a punch. But it is still very nice as it is. Thanks for sharing. :)
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Nice work. I like the line breaks, very effective. Your word choice is eloquent. I would love to see this piece done without rhyme but just pure imagery...that would really pack a punch. But it is still very nice as it is. Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008