Comment from electroswiftword

Excellent

Though I know not the new path or what fear there is to conquer, I follow your thought in that we all have the freedom to choose, the only fear I have is of God to ponder. Great read. Will

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2008

Comment from phild

Excellent

This is a well written poem with a nice flow to it. "No guide ... says yes" were my favorite lines. It reminded me of blind faith. Great job.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2008

Comment from sofish

Good

Interesting work and well written. In some parts I didnt feel like it flowed as well as it could. But over all definately a piece of work worth keeping!

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2008

Comment from thickwig

Excellent

Joyful! That's what I felt when reading this: joy.

"Imprints only made
After humility, then a bow " - nice picture!

"No guide, nor a map
Only a voice that says yes " - great

"Others will follow
Willingly, set free" - great finish

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2008

Comment from Leah H

Excellent

I love this poem: my only extra thought is that the first stanza is not in a personal voice like the the third stanza -- you may have a very good reason for this, but just in case this idea might work for you --> possibly try:

"Hallowed is the ground
I tread not until now
My imprints made only
With humility and a bow"

Sincerely,
Leah

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2008

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008

Leah, I can see where you are coming from there. I just re-read it and I guess what I felt in the first stanza was the trepidation to approach that path (so it wasn't mine until I did walk it) and in a linear progression, after having delved in, I not only walked it, I 'trampled' it with revelry and joy!! Triumph. Maybe that helps you to see my angle. However, if you have further comment on that, I most certainly welcome it!!! I thank you for bring it up. And I thank you for your most generous review and all comments! I remain.........Sincerely yours, Sue

reply by Leah H on 19-Nov-2008

I re-read it after reading your reply and I understand the transition better. Sincerely, Leah

reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008

So happy to share that with you. Thank you very much for responding!

Regards,
Sue

Comment from cmay44

Excellent

Hi 6teezkid,
What a lovely well-written poem and a refreshingly pleasant read. Well done in rhyme and excellent theme. Do be blessed as you bless others.
love from
Carolyn
cmay44

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2008

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008

Carolyn, I thank you for such a lovely review and your comments. So happy you enjoyed the read. Love sharing......and thank you for sharing your warm thoughts. Most sincerely, Sue

Comment from JJJHHHH

Excellent

6teezkid

very nice poem, one of the better ones ive read today. youve got a good theme and you get your message across well. dont ever give up on your dreams, they say.

james

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2008

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008

James, your words of encouragement are music to my ears! As I have only just begun writing, I need all the encouragement I can get! Ha!! So glad you enjoyed my poem. Thank you very much for your generous review and comments. Most sincerely, Sue

Comment from Nicnac

Excellent

What a joy to have someone that believes in you!
This is a lovely poem.
The flow is smooth and the rhyme is not forced.
Fabulous job.
I enjoyed this very much.
No revisions.

Blessings,
~Nic

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2008

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2008

Nic, when that special someone does come out of thin air and gives encouragement, it is, indeed, a blessing. Always makes you want to give back. I most certainly appreciate your comments and your most generous review. Sincerely, Sue

Comment from Jo52800

Excellent

A very nice poem that has rhyme which doesn't sound forced but incredibly natural. Very nice job. A thought provoking sentiment as well with a great message. I found nothing to correct or change in my opinion.

 Comment Written 18-Nov-2008

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reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008

Jo, thank you so much for your very generous review and specific comments. Very glad you liked it!.....Regards, Sue

Comment from Brian S. Pratt

Excellent

Poignant. Keep up the good work. Could be a roadmap for life? Or did I miss the point?

Do the ends of stanzas require periods?

Liked it all way around.

Brian S. Pratt
--Fantasy Author

 Comment Written 18-Nov-2008

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reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008

Brian, thank you so much for your very kind review and comments. Could be a roadmap to one single event; a roadmap for life or a roadmap for salvation? For me, it was gratefulness to one person who said "Yes you can" when I didn't know I could. And then, hoping I could be an example for another...that he/she could. Periods at end of stanzas??....well, I believe that they could take away from the flow and just look cluttered. What do you think?? I SO appreciate your critique! Regards....Sue

reply by Brian S. Pratt on 18-Nov-2008

you may be right about the periods. I am not that into poetry, but I do remember getting into trouble way, way back in grade school for not having them. Maybe that was just a pet peeve of my english teacher. Since I wrote your review, I've noticed others not having them. Maybe it's a personal choice sort of thing?

reply by the author on 18-Nov-2008

I've never had a poetry lesson (except doing some in grade school a million years ago), so I just went with what felt good. I still appreciate your commenting on it though. Everyone who reads and comments is a great help (for now and for in the future).

Thank you,
Sue