Peace
A poem about Peace57 total reviews
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Harry
Good poetry is made-up of two separate components. One is style and the other is meaning. You have used alternating rhymes as your style which works well. What works best is your content. Your content is well organized. You expressed your concerns about the world we live in with some anxiety and regret. Your poem is well done and clearly understood by the reader. That is also very important.
Robert
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Hello Harry
Good poetry is made-up of two separate components. One is style and the other is meaning. You have used alternating rhymes as your style which works well. What works best is your content. Your content is well organized. You expressed your concerns about the world we live in with some anxiety and regret. Your poem is well done and clearly understood by the reader. That is also very important.
Robert
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Well, thank you so much Robert. I really appreciate your review!
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You're welcome.
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Thank you!
Comment from Michele Harber
Your blurb says, " I do not believe I am great at [writing], but at least I try." However, the quality of this poem belies the claim. This is an extremely moving and affecting piece of writing, made moreso by how personal it sounds. You definitely seem to be describing things you've witnessed in person (or, at least, on the news), and how they affected you, and the pain you're describing is palpable. I was particularly touched by, "My blistered soul keeps yearning For the babies who are still crying."
You also chose a rather difficult rhyme scheme and made it work beautifully. The only things that keep this from being a six are a few small missteps in rhythm, but the rhymes, and your very specific word choices, are incredible. I'm so waiting for those last two lines to come true.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Your blurb says, " I do not believe I am great at [writing], but at least I try." However, the quality of this poem belies the claim. This is an extremely moving and affecting piece of writing, made moreso by how personal it sounds. You definitely seem to be describing things you've witnessed in person (or, at least, on the news), and how they affected you, and the pain you're describing is palpable. I was particularly touched by, "My blistered soul keeps yearning For the babies who are still crying."
You also chose a rather difficult rhyme scheme and made it work beautifully. The only things that keep this from being a six are a few small missteps in rhythm, but the rhymes, and your very specific word choices, are incredible. I'm so waiting for those last two lines to come true.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate that!
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You're very welcome. Anyone on this site who knows me can tell you I'm very honest, and would not have said that if I didn't mean every word.
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Well, thank you. I truly believe you!
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Good, because I'm telling the truth. I won't compliment a writer to flatter his ego, because that's not helping him. I said what I did because it's what I truly believe.
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I appreciate that too! I don't want no ego boosting lol!
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Glad to hear it. I respect people who just want to be good writers.
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Roger that!
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😀
Comment from nomi338
Your hopeful passion for the cleansing of the Earth is fine. As you continue to grow I anticipate that you will develop a style that will incorporate the use of poetic expressions that will serve to enhance your thoughts in such a way that will make your message even more powerful. Good luck, I will be looking forward to reading more of your work.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Your hopeful passion for the cleansing of the Earth is fine. As you continue to grow I anticipate that you will develop a style that will incorporate the use of poetic expressions that will serve to enhance your thoughts in such a way that will make your message even more powerful. Good luck, I will be looking forward to reading more of your work.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you for your review. I really appreciate that!
Comment from Gunner Lil
Another attempt to be a poet by the Killer Coast Guard boi.
Slow moving story not saying much on how to achieve peace. Has no flow or pace.
Take a class boi.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Another attempt to be a poet by the Killer Coast Guard boi.
Slow moving story not saying much on how to achieve peace. Has no flow or pace.
Take a class boi.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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I was also a sergeant in the infantry that is why I know I can kick your dumb ass boi...Learn how to spell and don't use ebonics it makes you sound black!
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You are so funny.
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You are funny too. Learn how to spell punkass!
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Learn what 'boi' means.
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Learn how to spell...
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Is the picture you? Born in 59'? You likely did not experience Vietnam. Thanks for your service.
As for war, I agree, history has taught world leaders very little.
What does Russia need with the Ukraine, or China need Taiwan. Are they fearful of the USA. America has not incurred dreams of invading elsewhere, though our new C-I-C has invited Canada to consider joingin our alliance.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Is the picture you? Born in 59'? You likely did not experience Vietnam. Thanks for your service.
As for war, I agree, history has taught world leaders very little.
What does Russia need with the Ukraine, or China need Taiwan. Are they fearful of the USA. America has not incurred dreams of invading elsewhere, though our new C-I-C has invited Canada to consider joingin our alliance.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Well, Putin declares the Ukraine as part of the "MOTHERLAND" and he wants it back. I guess people are not supposed to be free in Russia. So, sad. Thank you for your review. I really appreciate that!
Comment from Darlene BoClair
We each need access to peace in our personal hope and expectation.
I embrace your thoughts on our world and peace. Peace be with you. Peace belongs to the Lord.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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We each need access to peace in our personal hope and expectation.
I embrace your thoughts on our world and peace. Peace be with you. Peace belongs to the Lord.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you so much for your review. And yes, it does...
Comment from Jacob1395
It is so unjust what is happening in the world at the moment. I really can't see why people in power want war when all it causes is suffering. A well written, heartfelt piece, we can only hope for a better future.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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It is so unjust what is happening in the world at the moment. I really can't see why people in power want war when all it causes is suffering. A well written, heartfelt piece, we can only hope for a better future.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you Jacob. You are so right! I really appreciate your review.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
A set of sad, rhetorical questions that have been reverberating for centuries now. Your meter and tempo were very well done. It flowed easily with no forced rhymes whatsoever. I feel as if your work is improving with time here.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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A set of sad, rhetorical questions that have been reverberating for centuries now. Your meter and tempo were very well done. It flowed easily with no forced rhymes whatsoever. I feel as if your work is improving with time here.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you so much Rachelle. I know I don't follow the rules and I never have. I guess I am kind of a Bob Dylan type guy lol! I really appreciate your review!
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We're kindred spirits then, Harry. I'm a rebel, as well.
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Lol! It's the only way to be...I have always been.
Comment from DonandVicki
I enjoyed the deep meaning of your poem. We are far from peace in this world, but I do not think that it is hopeless. Your poem expresses the reality of the situation.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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I enjoyed the deep meaning of your poem. We are far from peace in this world, but I do not think that it is hopeless. Your poem expresses the reality of the situation.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate that!
Comment from Janet Foor
My children often said things like "that's not fair". Sadly, it's true, these things you describe are not fair and often the innocent suffer at the alter of greed and egos of others.
We are a selfish lot and I pray we will wake up and smell the roses one day.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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My children often said things like "that's not fair". Sadly, it's true, these things you describe are not fair and often the innocent suffer at the alter of greed and egos of others.
We are a selfish lot and I pray we will wake up and smell the roses one day.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 02-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2025
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Yes, Janet. You are so right. Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate that!
