Feeding the Bums
They would sit on the tracks and beg for food37 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm sure they were very grateful for the food you and your siblings gave them. We are not all lucky enough to have a warm home, a bed, and food in our tummies. This is a lovely contest entry, and fun too. But mom was right; it could be dangerous. Good luck with this fabulous poem in the contest. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
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I'm sure they were very grateful for the food you and your siblings gave them. We are not all lucky enough to have a warm home, a bed, and food in our tummies. This is a lovely contest entry, and fun too. But mom was right; it could be dangerous. Good luck with this fabulous poem in the contest. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment Written 19-Oct-2024
Comment from ~Dovey
Hello, mystery poet!
I love that you chose a poem for this contest. When I read the rules, I was wondering if it would be poetry or prose. Your rhymes were delightful, as was the story of that day when you were only five.
You've made us empathize with your older siblings, and how nice, at five, that you escaped the punishment from your parents. I am sure the bums appreciated you all. It beckons us to another age, another time.
I am here at FanStory quite infrequently these days, so I've no clue as to your identity, but I wish you well in the contest. Great job on your poem!
Kim
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Hello, mystery poet!
I love that you chose a poem for this contest. When I read the rules, I was wondering if it would be poetry or prose. Your rhymes were delightful, as was the story of that day when you were only five.
You've made us empathize with your older siblings, and how nice, at five, that you escaped the punishment from your parents. I am sure the bums appreciated you all. It beckons us to another age, another time.
I am here at FanStory quite infrequently these days, so I've no clue as to your identity, but I wish you well in the contest. Great job on your poem!
Kim
Comment Written 19-Oct-2024
Comment from Begin Again
Especially back in the days when work was hard to find and pay was barely anything for those who did work hard, the people left to scrounge on their own didn't have help except from those who opened their hearts like you. Well written poem.
Smiles, Carol
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Especially back in the days when work was hard to find and pay was barely anything for those who did work hard, the people left to scrounge on their own didn't have help except from those who opened their hearts like you. Well written poem.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 19-Oct-2024
Comment from EeanBlack
Awesome. Some homeless people can be dangerous. Mental illness, drug addiction, violent ex-cons. Mostly, though, I've noticed that they are very grateful for anything you share. Most people don't share anything at all. This was good to read and it restores a little hope in society. Just a little.
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Awesome. Some homeless people can be dangerous. Mental illness, drug addiction, violent ex-cons. Mostly, though, I've noticed that they are very grateful for anything you share. Most people don't share anything at all. This was good to read and it restores a little hope in society. Just a little.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2024
Comment from zanya
This poem for the One Day at Five contest is so charming telling of another time when life was a lot simpler and what a beautiful pic to illustrate- wish I had 6 - has my vote.
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This poem for the One Day at Five contest is so charming telling of another time when life was a lot simpler and what a beautiful pic to illustrate- wish I had 6 - has my vote.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2024
Comment from BermyBye50
This is an excellent entry in the One Day at Five contest in the form of a rhyming poem. You tell of familiar story of children being warned by their parents not to do something that may prove harmful, but is enticing enough to disobey the warning which eventually leads to being punished.
Note: two minor corrections
And even can(s) of my dad's chew
And what a punishment they (all) got
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2024
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This is an excellent entry in the One Day at Five contest in the form of a rhyming poem. You tell of familiar story of children being warned by their parents not to do something that may prove harmful, but is enticing enough to disobey the warning which eventually leads to being punished.
Note: two minor corrections
And even can(s) of my dad's chew
And what a punishment they (all) got
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2024
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Hi Eugene, I appreciate your very kind comments so very much. You are so thoughtful. I do have a couple questions about your suggestions, since I always appreciate feedback.
But since my poem is eight syllables and metered, adding all in the line would make it 9 syllables and throw off the meter.
I could use this, but I found it boring. "And we took a can of dad's chew". But we are talking about a single can of chew, so I guess if ever a poem felt like it didn't have to be perfect grammar it was this one. The chew line is suppose to tie in from the one above it. " We took some water for the stew, and even can of our dad's chew. But it was only one.
So do you think I should change it back to how we first had it then?
Thanks again, Eugene. I always appreciate it.
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OK. I had not realized the poem was in meter. In that case do not change it. Its great just as you wrote it.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I haven't heard from you in awhile which leaves me puzzled
I then cHecked my Buddy list
You weren't there
What made me inquisitive are the b.d. Wishes I ve seen 2day is that you they r well wishing?
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2024
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I haven't heard from you in awhile which leaves me puzzled
I then cHecked my Buddy list
You weren't there
What made me inquisitive are the b.d. Wishes I ve seen 2day is that you they r well wishing?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2024
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Hi Tom, I reviewed you a couple weeks ago. I made the effort cause I missed you so I am glad to hear from you now, but this is a blind contest so I have to change my comments so I don't get caught. It was good seeing you, but yes, look in your portfolio and you will see me. And yes, it is my birthday today but I am slightly overwhelmed by such generous and lovely posts.
Good to see you again, my friend.
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Hi Tom, I reviewed you a couple weeks ago. I made the effort cause I missed you so I am glad to hear from you now, but this is a blind contest so I have to change my comments so I don't get caught. It was good seeing you, but yes, look in your portfolio and you will see me. And yes, it is my birthday today but I am slightly overwhelmed by such generous and lovely posts.
Good to see you again, my friend. And I am a fan of yours. I get your posts, but I can't review much. Maybe it is that you aren't of me? I am not sure.
Thanks again tho.
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Happy Birthday, friend
How do people on FS know when a b. d. Is
?
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Hi Tom, you don't know how good it is to hear from you. I know for me when I do the birthday tributes,.I either ask or I look on people's profile..Like for instance my profile tells my birthday, because they asked me when my birthday was.