Hell in the First Grade
My first grade of school.35 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Elwell
This story has a good beginning, middle, and end. The situation is relateable and the reader can feel the emotions of the child. I think if you read through it again, you would see that many of the phrases (big, bigger, biggest) are redundant and the story would have more punch if it were a little tighter. I like the balance between being afraid of the teacher and afraid of the bullies, and the way only one is resolved.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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This story has a good beginning, middle, and end. The situation is relateable and the reader can feel the emotions of the child. I think if you read through it again, you would see that many of the phrases (big, bigger, biggest) are redundant and the story would have more punch if it were a little tighter. I like the balance between being afraid of the teacher and afraid of the bullies, and the way only one is resolved.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Well, thank you Sharon for your insight and your review. I really appreciate that!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I always enjoy your stories, Harry, because I never know where they're going to end up and you know all about building tension. I'm not sure, however, that the advice is something I'd give and it could have ended in your downfall or a serious/fatal assault on one of the other boys. I don't consider your reluctance to face three boys one of cowardice either. More like saving your own skin. Your father's or another adult's intervention was imperative given the boys' persistence. It's just a shame that violence had to determine the outcome or the "win." But very much an engrossing story. Thank you. Debbie
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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I always enjoy your stories, Harry, because I never know where they're going to end up and you know all about building tension. I'm not sure, however, that the advice is something I'd give and it could have ended in your downfall or a serious/fatal assault on one of the other boys. I don't consider your reluctance to face three boys one of cowardice either. More like saving your own skin. Your father's or another adult's intervention was imperative given the boys' persistence. It's just a shame that violence had to determine the outcome or the "win." But very much an engrossing story. Thank you. Debbie
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Well, Debbie. It was a different time and I have had many battles since. None that I started or chose, but had to fight still the same. To be honest - it's just a guy thing and always will be. Sad, but true. Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate it!
Comment from Begin Again
Being taught to be seen and not heard, I didn't have much to say in school either. Fortunately, school was a breeze for me. It was just having to be with other kids I didn't like. I always felt they were better than me.
It's so sad that your teacher didn't stand up for you. She wasn't a very good teacher, and that was unfortunate. I am glad that your father had the patience to understand and help you through the fear.
Thank you for sharing, Harry.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Being taught to be seen and not heard, I didn't have much to say in school either. Fortunately, school was a breeze for me. It was just having to be with other kids I didn't like. I always felt they were better than me.
It's so sad that your teacher didn't stand up for you. She wasn't a very good teacher, and that was unfortunate. I am glad that your father had the patience to understand and help you through the fear.
Thank you for sharing, Harry.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Yes, Carol. She was a real witch to be honest. I don't know why. However, my father made up for it. Thank you for your review!
Comment from gangreen
I enjoyed this story,it reads well and I didn't notice any mistakes with grammar.It is a well structured story in which the protagonist learns a valuable lesson-don't put up with bullying.There were points I could relate to as well,for instance I can remember when children walked to school,also one of my teachers at that age was just to mean to teach children or anybody for that matter.Sadly I guess the Ms Piddocks of this world are all to common,you end by saying you still had to deal with her for the rest of the year which leaves the story open for further development though it works as a complete piece on its own.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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I enjoyed this story,it reads well and I didn't notice any mistakes with grammar.It is a well structured story in which the protagonist learns a valuable lesson-don't put up with bullying.There were points I could relate to as well,for instance I can remember when children walked to school,also one of my teachers at that age was just to mean to teach children or anybody for that matter.Sadly I guess the Ms Piddocks of this world are all to common,you end by saying you still had to deal with her for the rest of the year which leaves the story open for further development though it works as a complete piece on its own.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Thank you so much for your review!
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A pleasure.Tanks for reply.
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Roger that!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this story with us. As a retired first grade teacher, after twenty-six years, I am furious at your teacher. That should never had happened, especially in first grade. GRRR.
I went and sat down at my desk. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
However, the next day I had a dentist appointment, & Well, the next day came, and I saw my dad pull the car to the front of the school. (the following day)
When I got home my mom asked me if my dad picked me up and I said, "No". (home, & "No.")
So, he asked me if it had anything to do with those boys waiting at the front door. I said, "No." So, he said, "Well, I am going to pick you up tomorrow and we are going to the dentist. So, I want you to come out that front door." I said, "O.k." (Three people speaking in on paragraph. They each get their own paragraph & "Okay.")
The next day I was miserable. I kept watching the clock and (The following day)
Just then my dad stepped in and said, "You boys want to fight him?" They said, "Yes." My dad told them O.k., but one at a time. I thought, "What?" (same as befoe about dialogue and okay. The next paragraph has the same problem with dialogue.)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Thank you for sharing this story with us. As a retired first grade teacher, after twenty-six years, I am furious at your teacher. That should never had happened, especially in first grade. GRRR.
I went and sat down at my desk. (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
However, the next day I had a dentist appointment, & Well, the next day came, and I saw my dad pull the car to the front of the school. (the following day)
When I got home my mom asked me if my dad picked me up and I said, "No". (home, & "No.")
So, he asked me if it had anything to do with those boys waiting at the front door. I said, "No." So, he said, "Well, I am going to pick you up tomorrow and we are going to the dentist. So, I want you to come out that front door." I said, "O.k." (Three people speaking in on paragraph. They each get their own paragraph & "Okay.")
The next day I was miserable. I kept watching the clock and (The following day)
Just then my dad stepped in and said, "You boys want to fight him?" They said, "Yes." My dad told them O.k., but one at a time. I thought, "What?" (same as befoe about dialogue and okay. The next paragraph has the same problem with dialogue.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2024
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Yes, she was an awful teacher. Thank you so much for the great review and your insight for catching my oops! I really appreciate that!