Autumn Joys
A beautiful season44 total reviews
Comment from jim vecchio
That's an authentic and well-done haiku as far as I am concerned. Please try your hand at more poetry. I murder the various forms, but the only way to master it is to keep writing, writing, writing.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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That's an authentic and well-done haiku as far as I am concerned. Please try your hand at more poetry. I murder the various forms, but the only way to master it is to keep writing, writing, writing.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
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THANKS FOR YOUR VERY GOOD HAIKU.
Comment from Teri7
My friend, you did a beautiful job with this 5-7-5 poem. You used great descriptive words and absolutely beautiful imagery from the artwork you chose. Never say never my friend! love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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My friend, you did a beautiful job with this 5-7-5 poem. You used great descriptive words and absolutely beautiful imagery from the artwork you chose. Never say never my friend! love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from shelley kaye
"I has 17 syllables" -- typo in notes? LOL!
a haiku is nature in 1-4 lines of 17 syllables OR LESS with two interconnecting lines and a satori (aha moment) written in present tense like a "snapshot in time"...
autumn breeze blows
stunning rich hues to adorn trees---
snuggle weather temps
anyway, thought i'd pop over and check this out - for your first haiku, it is really good! and the pic is awesome!
great imagery in this!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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"I has 17 syllables" -- typo in notes? LOL!
a haiku is nature in 1-4 lines of 17 syllables OR LESS with two interconnecting lines and a satori (aha moment) written in present tense like a "snapshot in time"...
autumn breeze blows
stunning rich hues to adorn trees---
snuggle weather temps
anyway, thought i'd pop over and check this out - for your first haiku, it is really good! and the pic is awesome!
great imagery in this!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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I'm not sure it has an aha moment, unless snuggling can be aha, maybe with the right person. LOL Thank you for being kind.
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yea, it's a good aha moment - it goes along with the breeze... yet says more...
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
breezes blow - get rid of the "s"
One too many syllables in the last line
Don't worry about this - poetry gets better the more you write it. Just like prose.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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breezes blow - get rid of the "s"
One too many syllables in the last line
Don't worry about this - poetry gets better the more you write it. Just like prose.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Hmmm, thought I had that last line. I'll work on it. Thank you. I decided after the 's' of breeze, I'm down to 17 syllables, right?
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I thought it had to be 5/7/5, but I didn't read the prompt. Helen or Karenina would know.
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It isn't part of a contest. I don't do contest. I just wrote it, because of encouragement.
Comment from BethShelby
This is good poetry. There is no reason you shouldn't write poetry. I think that last line has 6 syllables instead of five, if this is a 5-7-5 poem. However, I think haikus can have more than five in the last line. Also wouldn't 'breezes blow' or 'breeze blows'?
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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This is good poetry. There is no reason you shouldn't write poetry. I think that last line has 6 syllables instead of five, if this is a 5-7-5 poem. However, I think haikus can have more than five in the last line. Also wouldn't 'breezes blow' or 'breeze blows'?
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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I'll keep working on it. Thank you.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good for you for writing a poem.
-Very nice artwork and presentation.
-Very good nature and seasonal imagery
with the autumn breeze and trees.
-I like the image "stunning rich hues."
-A very good closing line that creates an 'aha' moment.
-A good job!!!
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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-Good for you for writing a poem.
-Very nice artwork and presentation.
-Very good nature and seasonal imagery
with the autumn breeze and trees.
-I like the image "stunning rich hues."
-A very good closing line that creates an 'aha' moment.
-A good job!!!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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You are welcome.
Comment from royowen
I'm sorry I couldn't resist it Barbara, the last line on a haiku requires an aha moment, called a satori, but the 5/7/5 doesn't require that touch, but well done, blessings Roy
Suggestion : Autumn breezes blow(s) 2: trees adorned with bright garments, great weather predicted.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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I'm sorry I couldn't resist it Barbara, the last line on a haiku requires an aha moment, called a satori, but the 5/7/5 doesn't require that touch, but well done, blessings Roy
Suggestion : Autumn breezes blow(s) 2: trees adorned with bright garments, great weather predicted.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Poetry isn't my thing. I figured snugs are aha, right? LOL Just teasing. I am not a poet, and don't pretend to be.
Comment from lyenochka
I'm so glad that Aussie talked you into writing a poem! Yes, Autumn is a cozy time with the cooler weather and the stunning trees!
Some suggestions:
Autumn breezes blows (blow)
Trees adorn stunning rich hues (maybe: stunning rich hues adorn trees) Adorn is a transitive verb
Snuggly weather promised (6 syllables - maybe snuggly temps?
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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I'm so glad that Aussie talked you into writing a poem! Yes, Autumn is a cozy time with the cooler weather and the stunning trees!
Some suggestions:
Autumn breezes blows (blow)
Trees adorn stunning rich hues (maybe: stunning rich hues adorn trees) Adorn is a transitive verb
Snuggly weather promised (6 syllables - maybe snuggly temps?
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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LOl I gave it my best shot. Thank you for the help. I do appreciate it.
Comment from Jacob1395
I love this time of year, although at the moment we seem to be having a mini heatwave in the UK which is quite pleasant. I'm actually looking forward to the darker nights. An excellent piece Barbara.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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I love this time of year, although at the moment we seem to be having a mini heatwave in the UK which is quite pleasant. I'm actually looking forward to the darker nights. An excellent piece Barbara.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Your chosen illustration of fall leaves is outstanding, Barbara. It's three-d! I don't know the rules either but I love what you wrote. Three cheers and a well done!
Smiles, Carol
should the s be off either breezes or blows?
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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Your chosen illustration of fall leaves is outstanding, Barbara. It's three-d! I don't know the rules either but I love what you wrote. Three cheers and a well done!
Smiles, Carol
should the s be off either breezes or blows?
Comment Written 18-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2024
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I fixed it. LOL Thank you for the kindness.
