High Tech Intruder
Caught off guard (Fictional)38 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
The recent advancements in Tech has made everybody's life new and different as they have come face with the new. Just as we were getting comfortable with the new tech, along come AI with its game changing developments, God only knows what is going to happen next. Therefore I implore heaven to help out those of us who are technology challenged.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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The recent advancements in Tech has made everybody's life new and different as they have come face with the new. Just as we were getting comfortable with the new tech, along come AI with its game changing developments, God only knows what is going to happen next. Therefore I implore heaven to help out those of us who are technology challenged.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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LOL - Nomi- even tho this was more about the style of poem, and difficulty of increasing a syllable each line and keep it in meter - I found it one of the most challenging i have done - each odd number of syllables was harder.
Only my story was about a new text sound coming from the iPad.But that you find in settings and is quite easy. However I admit to being very computer savvy. What I do dread more than almost anything is AI. I truly feel that is what will destroy our poetry, our employment and ultimately the world...... Luckily my poems message was just an innocent noise that I change on all my devices regularly. I think AI is satanic.
Sorry for my seriousness but I despise that thing so much. I am going to be Praying about it right now. Thanks bro for letting me explain all that.
Love ya! Debi
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Of course me, loving all things relating to computer software, have given AI a spin, to see if it could be useful in some of my fiction writing find it to be frustratingly stupid. I had it create a character that I was using in a story and it did not even use that same character throughout the story. At the outset the caracter looked human, the very next time round it created a cartoon like character to represent the same character. Argh.
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Y'know in a way, that is a blessing. Some think that it can do better than us. And that scares the heebie jeebies out of me. LOL.
Love ya!
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Thank you love. Stay blessed and say hello to your family for me.
Comment from isabelteeth
Really sweet. This one is relatable to everyone ever who has been alive in this age. You executed the form in a really nice way, I know it's hard within these guidelines. steve jobs really has it in for us
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Really sweet. This one is relatable to everyone ever who has been alive in this age. You executed the form in a really nice way, I know it's hard within these guidelines. steve jobs really has it in for us
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Hi Isabel, and welcome to FS. I hope you will be very happy here. We are like a big second family once you get used to it.
So thanks so much for your kind words for the poem as it was a little challenging to keep some kind of meter going. I appreciate it so much, my awesome friend. Love, Debi
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the CRESCENDO POEM event in the JAPANESE POETRY CLUB. Your rhyme is perfect. You didn't have to but you went the extra mile. I know you like to challenge yourself.
My grandson thinks anything to do with poop is hilarious so I got a fart noise in my phone so whenever I got a message a little fart noise he would laugh. My daughter hate it. I had to get rid of it. LoL
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Excellent entry for the CRESCENDO POEM event in the JAPANESE POETRY CLUB. Your rhyme is perfect. You didn't have to but you went the extra mile. I know you like to challenge yourself.
My grandson thinks anything to do with poop is hilarious so I got a fart noise in my phone so whenever I got a message a little fart noise he would laugh. My daughter hate it. I had to get rid of it. LoL
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Hahaha, MariVal, I don't Know which emotion is greater right now? The honor of your six stars or the thrill of hearing you had a fart noise in your phone for your awesome little grandson. Atticus is a lucky boy to have such a wonderful, loving & caring grandma! That is hilarious and I wish my phone or ipads with that. Thank you for the most wonderful review ever and I will treasure it, and you, ALWAYS!!!!! Love you, Debi
Comment from QC Poet
Very interesting topic you choose for this Crescendo poem prompt looks and reads well I Thank you for Sharing it with us, counted the number of syllables hopefully I'll do as well on miuin process now. Blessings
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Very interesting topic you choose for this Crescendo poem prompt looks and reads well I Thank you for Sharing it with us, counted the number of syllables hopefully I'll do as well on miuin process now. Blessings
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Hi QC, thanks so much for your kind words for the poem but I am looking forward to seeing what you do, as I know you will do well. It was a little challenging to keep some kind of meter going. I appreciate it so much, my awesome friend. Love, Debi
Comment from Thor R
This poem effectively captures a humorous and relatable moment of embarrassment and realization. Here's a critique focusing on various aspects:
1. **Narrative Flow**: The poem follows a clear narrative arc, starting with the protagonist hearing a strange sound, escalating to their decision to call the police, and ending with the humorous revelation of the true source of the sound. This progression creates a sense of anticipation and suspense that culminates in a satisfying punchline.
2. **Language and Tone**: The language used in the poem is straightforward and accessible, which suits the light-hearted tone of the piece. The use of colloquial language, such as "I thought I heard the strangest sound," helps to create a sense of immediacy and familiarity.
3. **Humor**: The poem's humor stems from the contrast between the protagonist's initial alarm and the mundane explanation for the strange sound. The twist ending, revealed in the final line, provides a humorous payoff that subverts the reader's expectations.
4. **Imagery**: While the poem focuses more on the narrative than on vivid imagery, there are still elements that evoke a sense of the scene, such as the protagonist unlocking the door and checking to see if anyone is around. These details help to ground the reader in the moment and enhance the overall effectiveness of the poem.
5. **Structure**: The poem follows a simple structure, with each stanza consisting of two rhyming lines. While this structure serves the poem well and contributes to its readability, experimenting with different stanza lengths or rhyme schemes could add variety and interest.
Overall, this poem effectively captures a humorous and relatable moment of embarrassment, skillfully building tension before delivering a satisfying punchline. With its clear narrative arc, accessible language, and humorous twist ending, it offers an enjoyable reading experience.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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This poem effectively captures a humorous and relatable moment of embarrassment and realization. Here's a critique focusing on various aspects:
1. **Narrative Flow**: The poem follows a clear narrative arc, starting with the protagonist hearing a strange sound, escalating to their decision to call the police, and ending with the humorous revelation of the true source of the sound. This progression creates a sense of anticipation and suspense that culminates in a satisfying punchline.
2. **Language and Tone**: The language used in the poem is straightforward and accessible, which suits the light-hearted tone of the piece. The use of colloquial language, such as "I thought I heard the strangest sound," helps to create a sense of immediacy and familiarity.
3. **Humor**: The poem's humor stems from the contrast between the protagonist's initial alarm and the mundane explanation for the strange sound. The twist ending, revealed in the final line, provides a humorous payoff that subverts the reader's expectations.
4. **Imagery**: While the poem focuses more on the narrative than on vivid imagery, there are still elements that evoke a sense of the scene, such as the protagonist unlocking the door and checking to see if anyone is around. These details help to ground the reader in the moment and enhance the overall effectiveness of the poem.
5. **Structure**: The poem follows a simple structure, with each stanza consisting of two rhyming lines. While this structure serves the poem well and contributes to its readability, experimenting with different stanza lengths or rhyme schemes could add variety and interest.
Overall, this poem effectively captures a humorous and relatable moment of embarrassment, skillfully building tension before delivering a satisfying punchline. With its clear narrative arc, accessible language, and humorous twist ending, it offers an enjoyable reading experience.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Hello Thor. I appreciate and thank you for the kind comments.
However this poem wasn't experimenting with different amount of line syllables, but instead was from a club and I should have done this right away, but I wrote in notes that my Crescendo starting at 6 syllables, increasing one syllable in each line, to 13 syllables. was difficult to do in rhyme and meter. The odd ones were buggers to read smoothly.
.just wanted you to know. Thanks again my friend.. Love, Debi ,
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Debi, a fun poem. These cell phones make us crazy. In today's world,
anything is possible. I thought that it was going to be a mouse.
Good rhyming. Well-chosen photo. Well done. Xo. M
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Hi Debi, a fun poem. These cell phones make us crazy. In today's world,
anything is possible. I thought that it was going to be a mouse.
Good rhyming. Well-chosen photo. Well done. Xo. M
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Hi Margaret, Thanks so much for your kind words for the poem as it was a little challenging to keep some kind of meter going. I appreciate it so much, my awesome friend. Love, Debi
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This was a funny narrative poem. I guess it is fiction, but maybe it could have happened. This poem points out that changing sounds for text messages on an iPad was an event soon forgotten, with disastrous results this time around. Nice read.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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This was a funny narrative poem. I guess it is fiction, but maybe it could have happened. This poem points out that changing sounds for text messages on an iPad was an event soon forgotten, with disastrous results this time around. Nice read.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Hi Crystie, I should have done this right away, but I wrote in notes that my Crescendo starting at 6 syllables, increasing one syllable in each line, to 13 syllables. was difficult to do in rhyme and meter. The odd ones were buggers to read smoothly..I hope it read well for you! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Love Debi
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. That's funny. I guess you have some really high tech options. I don't know what those text sounds are like but I guess that it can be alarming if you weren't expecting it. At least, it's not a scammer!
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reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Lol. That's funny. I guess you have some really high tech options. I don't know what those text sounds are like but I guess that it can be alarming if you weren't expecting it. At least, it's not a scammer!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Hi Helen, I should have done this right away, but I wrote in notes that my Crescendo starting at 6 syllables, increasing one syllable in each line, to 13 syllables. was difficult to do in rhyme and meter. The odd ones were buggers to read smoothly. But I think I did it well.Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Love Debi
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