Song Of The Serenades
eerie melodies of the mountain33 total reviews
Comment from estory
Classic romantic imagery of the idyllic, lonely mountains sets the mood here for this tale of lost love. The mountains and waterfalls and meadows full of wildflowers seem remote, like the memories of that love itself, so they make a good metaphor for it. estory
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Classic romantic imagery of the idyllic, lonely mountains sets the mood here for this tale of lost love. The mountains and waterfalls and meadows full of wildflowers seem remote, like the memories of that love itself, so they make a good metaphor for it. estory
Comment Written 16-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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I appreciate your very kind words. Thanks so much!
Comment from Douglas Goff
I am surprised this is not in a contest. It is very beautifully written and flows like a babbling brook.
I like the descriptiveness of the piece, such as this:
and skipped and danced
along the Serenade Mountains
Well-done. I am casting a vote for this, anyhoo.
D
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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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I am surprised this is not in a contest. It is very beautifully written and flows like a babbling brook.
I like the descriptiveness of the piece, such as this:
and skipped and danced
along the Serenade Mountains
Well-done. I am casting a vote for this, anyhoo.
D
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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I appreciate your kind words. I was going to enter the free verse contest, but I guess I'll have to try to write another one.
Comment from zanni
This is an interesting poem. It starts with the wind and I was expecting it to be all about nature- then the surprise of a love poem appearing.
The words you chose communicated the feel of a strong wind. At first, it read that only God can see the eerie tunes. I thought He would hear them, then on a 2nd reading I realised it was referring to the hidden waterfall.
I like how the wind calms down as the poet reminisces about the sweet gal. I noticed her lips were red and also the berries were red. Would it work better if one of those reds was changed to a different hue?
The echoes of eerie tunes towards the end brings quite an atmosphere.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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This is an interesting poem. It starts with the wind and I was expecting it to be all about nature- then the surprise of a love poem appearing.
The words you chose communicated the feel of a strong wind. At first, it read that only God can see the eerie tunes. I thought He would hear them, then on a 2nd reading I realised it was referring to the hidden waterfall.
I like how the wind calms down as the poet reminisces about the sweet gal. I noticed her lips were red and also the berries were red. Would it work better if one of those reds was changed to a different hue?
The echoes of eerie tunes towards the end brings quite an atmosphere.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Thanks for your review and suggestions. I still have much to learn about poetry.