Wish Granted
Fictional account of a protest gone wrong.32 total reviews
Comment from Julie Lau
I found this extremely amusing! What an experience for the boys! I like your succinct, to-the-point writing style very much. Just a few little errors in paragraph 4:
2nd 'they' has a 'e' missing
front line : no 's'
full stop after 'battlefield'
use 'none' instead of 'neither' because there are more than 2 of them.
Hoping you find these suggestions helpful,
Julie L
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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
I found this extremely amusing! What an experience for the boys! I like your succinct, to-the-point writing style very much. Just a few little errors in paragraph 4:
2nd 'they' has a 'e' missing
front line : no 's'
full stop after 'battlefield'
use 'none' instead of 'neither' because there are more than 2 of them.
Hoping you find these suggestions helpful,
Julie L
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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Thank you. It was late and sleep was in my eyes. Corrections will be made.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! Actually, I can see this happening. I half expected that Tucker Carlson would be taken to Russia to be their spokesman. He and Trump adore Putin. I don't get it. Putin is a horrible dictator. Trump's campaign people actually worked for Russia. Russians give money to the NRA so that they can influence our government officials.
Sorry, I got off on a tangent. But your story is very likely something that can happen.
Suggestion:
Treated to the finest vodka and caviar, the boys felt like royalty. (semicolon instead of comma or make it into two sentences.)
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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
Lol! Actually, I can see this happening. I half expected that Tucker Carlson would be taken to Russia to be their spokesman. He and Trump adore Putin. I don't get it. Putin is a horrible dictator. Trump's campaign people actually worked for Russia. Russians give money to the NRA so that they can influence our government officials.
Sorry, I got off on a tangent. But your story is very likely something that can happen.
Suggestion:
Treated to the finest vodka and caviar, the boys felt like royalty. (semicolon instead of comma or make it into two sentences.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
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Thank you. I am glad you liked it. I just now wrote it. Before going to bed for the night.
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Goodnight, Nomi! Happy Dreams!
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Thank you. May your dreams be happy and pleasant as well.