Ransom
What about Father?33 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a tremendous piece of writing. I have no criticisms to offer. Don't you dare change a word. It made me think two sad thoughts. Isn't it awful how fast everything goes at the end of life? and isn't it sad how the young can't take time out of busying themselves with trivia to appreciate the important things in life before it's too late? Kate xx
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
  |
This is a tremendous piece of writing. I have no criticisms to offer. Don't you dare change a word. It made me think two sad thoughts. Isn't it awful how fast everything goes at the end of life? and isn't it sad how the young can't take time out of busying themselves with trivia to appreciate the important things in life before it's too late? Kate xx
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
-
Hi Kate, thank you for reading, your generous comments, and that GALAXY OF STARS! I am humbled. This story was part fiction and part from my life. I am working on a sequel.
Thanks again,
irishj
Comment from MissMerri
I always tell you this, but I greatly admire your ability to paint vivid scenes with the precise details you include in your stories. It is not clear to me, however, what the date is when this is happening. Some of the things you describe in the hospital scene sound like a long, long time ago. But the love between the sisters and their dad is timeless and so well portrayed. Also, you have done an amazing job of showing us who the dad is, making the readers care about him, and able therefore, to empathize with the daughters and his neighbor.
I was wishing the hyphens were different between words, but it would be easier to show you what I mean, than to point out each instance. Good job of storytelling Irish. You are a natural.
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
 |
I always tell you this, but I greatly admire your ability to paint vivid scenes with the precise details you include in your stories. It is not clear to me, however, what the date is when this is happening. Some of the things you describe in the hospital scene sound like a long, long time ago. But the love between the sisters and their dad is timeless and so well portrayed. Also, you have done an amazing job of showing us who the dad is, making the readers care about him, and able therefore, to empathize with the daughters and his neighbor.
I was wishing the hyphens were different between words, but it would be easier to show you what I mean, than to point out each instance. Good job of storytelling Irish. You are a natural.
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
-
Wow, thank you for all the stars!! I am grateful for your comments, you always have such great suggestions. I know that you saw part of my life in this fictional portrait. I am working on a flashback sequel.
Thanks again, irish
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is such a touching story, Irish. It read beautifully, and I doubt I'd change a thing. Your word imagery is striking and vivid. I felt the girls' pain through your writing and that we have all been there or will be someday. I didn't see the ending coming until later in the piece. Well done, my friend.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
|
This is such a touching story, Irish. It read beautifully, and I doubt I'd change a thing. Your word imagery is striking and vivid. I felt the girls' pain through your writing and that we have all been there or will be someday. I didn't see the ending coming until later in the piece. Well done, my friend.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
-
Thank you, John! I labored over this story, which has a portion of my life in there. Finally stopped editing before I ruined it and posted.
irish