The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Return Chapter 14"Erotic Turmoil
31 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Aw, Sandra, you have left us on the cliff hanging over its edge. I love it. I can understand Margot's anxiety if entering Meg's body but now she's certainly in her stride.
God, I love this story. Just can't wait to reading on. A big hug, from a sunny, but very cold Vall de Laguar. It's unbelievable. Ullaxxxx
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Aw, Sandra, you have left us on the cliff hanging over its edge. I love it. I can understand Margot's anxiety if entering Meg's body but now she's certainly in her stride.
God, I love this story. Just can't wait to reading on. A big hug, from a sunny, but very cold Vall de Laguar. It's unbelievable. Ullaxxxx
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Ulla. I'm glad you enjoyed this part. It was quite hard to write and get Margot's emotions right. Thanks, also, for that lovely sixth star, you're a real pal. Love and hugs, my friend.
Are you sure you are living in Spain and not in the Antartic? :)) Did you see we had snow two days ago? It was a real blizzard, and so unusual down here in the South of England. Take care, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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Hehe, I'm not in sure where I live anymore. The weather here is just so freak. More rain the next three days and then we'll be in the twenties, as we should be. I'm so sorry you're having an unusual weather as we well. Ullaxxxx
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Sandra,
things are picking up steam here and Margot's ruffled some feather it seems. Great stopping off point.
that mostly caught her attention.
'I do hope this works,' Margot said softly.- watch the close proximity of adverbs.
The suddenness of glaring light, woke Margot with a start.- no need for the comma here.
'Yes, there here, but they's not looking comfortable.'- they're, although I think Bess would say They's.
'I did wonder about that. I'd hate to think she'd come round believing she'd gone crazy' - need punctuation before the closing speech marks.
I shall send for refreshments immediately.' He turned and nodded towards his doorman who immediately hurried away.- same adverb in close succession here.
comfortably seated in the sumptuous leather chair in front of his desk, he swiftly- watch the adverb pairing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Hi Sandra,
things are picking up steam here and Margot's ruffled some feather it seems. Great stopping off point.
that mostly caught her attention.
'I do hope this works,' Margot said softly.- watch the close proximity of adverbs.
The suddenness of glaring light, woke Margot with a start.- no need for the comma here.
'Yes, there here, but they's not looking comfortable.'- they're, although I think Bess would say They's.
'I did wonder about that. I'd hate to think she'd come round believing she'd gone crazy' - need punctuation before the closing speech marks.
I shall send for refreshments immediately.' He turned and nodded towards his doorman who immediately hurried away.- same adverb in close succession here.
comfortably seated in the sumptuous leather chair in front of his desk, he swiftly- watch the adverb pairing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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I'm so pleased you are my first reviewer, thank you so much for these edits. They are always so obvious! I've made all the corrections and even changed a couple of sentences where there is a doubling up of adverbs.
Thank you, Gareth, I really appeciate your help. I'm glad you are still enjoying the story. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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no worries