Comment from Paul McFarland

Excellent

Indeed, two ships passing in the night. A great description of this encounter. "...an oasis of cotton sheets" is a great phrase. Let's weigh anchor and move on.

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

Hi Paul,

Thank you for your amusing and thoughtful review! I am so glad my words spoke to you on many levels. Love is such a treasured gift.

Have a great weekend up your way in Maine?bet its beautiful this time of year?

Senyai

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

Hi Paul,

Thank you for your amusing and thoughtful review! I am so glad my words spoke to you on many levels. Love is such a treasured gift.

Have a great weekend up your way in Maine?bet its beautiful this time of year?

Senyai

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This sounds like an elicit encounter, lovers who enjoy the moment whilst they have time in their busy schedule and then return to their normal lives, you captured the excitement here, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

HimDolly,

Oh so glad for your awesome review and encouraging words. Yes, love in all its aspects is a wonderful and treasured gift :))

Always,
Senyai

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

HimDolly,

Oh so glad for your awesome review and encouraging words. Yes, love in all its aspects is a wonderful and treasured gift :))

Always,
Senyai

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Breathtaking! I peg this as a winner. Stunning presentation and vivid imagery--ingenious incorporation of references--detailed notes on which are appreciated. Fine work!

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 Comment Written 21-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

HiLiz,

Oh, thank you for your sweet words and I am beyond pleased my words spoke to you. Love in all its aspects is truly a treasured gift :))

Have a grand weekend, my friend!

Senyai

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

HiLiz,

Oh, thank you for your sweet words and I am beyond pleased my words spoke to you. Love in all its aspects is truly a treasured gift :))

Have a grand weekend, my friend!

Senyai

Comment from karenina

Exceptional

Few poems leave me speechless. I have been sitting here quietly, summoning salient expressions to convey...

Convey what precisely? That your verse swallowed me whole! Moments slipped by as my eyes flew back to the beginning! Yes. That is some of it...

I am spent. As if I'd just read the final page of my favorite novel and want to hold it to my heart awhile.

This is ebullient. Illuminative. Sagacious.
One does not so much read it as immerse oneself in it!

Easily the best poem I have read in months and months.

You truly ought to consider submitting this for publication.

I bow to this superlative work...

My choice for poem of the month!

Karenina

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

Karenina, I am overjoyed by your review of my poem! I debated whether to post this or not and whether I should put a warning on it for adult poetry but took a gamble and just threw it out there. Life got in the way and I literally just threw it out there? so forgive me for my delayed reply.

You have no idea how your beautiful words touched me! You have no idea?.

I cried, I haven?t done that in ages. Thank you deeply for this gift of tears, Karenina?.

Men and women, all people are so hungry for meaningful love, not just sex per sae?.but real love which is beyond sexy wouldn?t you say, it has to touch on the ethereal, treat the embodiment of the other person as completely sacred and not to trespass.

Can I tell you a little secret?your marvelous poem, On Lost Virginity, set the stage for my poem?it may sound strange but it just happened this way. I wish for young women and young men to hold the giving of their bodies for the absolutely sacred part of themselves that it is. Your poem spoke to the deepest part of me and to all human nature that the body holds the spirit of each person and they are one and the same? there is no division there, not really. The pleasures of the body are the pleasures of the spirit?or should be? and when they are expressed this way out of the deepest need with given trust it is an absolutely marvelous thing to behold.

Thank you for your poem which flew the doors wide open on this reality for me and all who read your words that came from a legitimately wounded place in you. Your lawyer lover actually wounded himself even if he didn?t know it at the time..


Much love to you? your words were the most beautiful gift to me!

Please take care of yourself, dear lady? praying for all good things to come to you and yours. I know your surgery is on the docket and will come in November, just know my heart will be there with you.

Hugs :))
Senyai

reply by karenina on 22-Oct-2021

Now I'm willing tears of joy...

This kindred spirit gift of fellowship through writing is overpowering!

To think my poem would United the spark that set yours in motion is a spiritual experience in itself!

I totally agree with you. Intimacy transcends and the physical!

It's a crescendo big body, mind, soul,b heart and spirir!

This is just what your poem spoke too!

May I share your comments with my granddaughter?

I think it's everything I want her to understand and embrace!

Karenina

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

Yes! I would be delighted if you would. Do you mind if I share your tour de force as well with my Erin who?s just turned 19 and still quite sheltered? ❤️

reply by karenina on 22-Oct-2021

I would be honored. Please do! Thanks for allowing me to share your comments with my own...

Karenina

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

My pleasure, Karenina

reply by karenina on 22-Oct-2021

:)

Comment from AliMom

Exceptional

I love Frank Zappa and I love your poem. You use some great allusions from past and present artists to paint a wonderful picture of love found. My issue is the amount of explaining you have to include in your author's notes to clarify your words. It's like jokes. If you have to explain it, it takes away from the joke. Now your poem is anything but a joke. It is sensitive, sexy, exciting, explosive, funny, and has an amazing shape. What a relief to weigh anchor after passing one another for so long. I empathize with that. Zappa's music accompanies it perfectly.

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

Hi AliMom,

You review and suggestions were awesome and greatly appreciated! Yes, I really do get your point that less is more?but always give into my fear that my words might be lost on someone who has never heard of these authors and/or science facts etc. I figured the whole world has heard of crazy/wonderful Frank Zappa but apparently not?.and you are not the only one who has commented there is no need to put copious notes trailing into oblivion at the bottom. So I will put a sticky note on my forehead for next time Lol.

Appreciate your input and gift of stars more than you know. Thank you :))

Senyai

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

Hi AliMom,

You review and suggestions were awesome and greatly appreciated! Yes, I really do get your point that less is more?but always give into my fear that my words might be lost on someone who has never heard of these authors and/or science facts etc. I figured the whole world has heard of crazy/wonderful Frank Zappa but apparently not?.and you are not the only one who has commented there is no need to put copious notes trailing into oblivion at the bottom. So I will put a sticky note on my forehead for next time Lol.

Appreciate your input and gift of stars more than you know. Thank you :))

Senyai

Comment from Theodore McDowell

Excellent

Superb free verse. I absolutely love the description of the scene in the room, the details are marvelous. I would even like to see the poem start at the second verse without the first verse which employs a worn metaphor of ships passing in the night. Besides that this is so so good. A virtual six, my friend. Also loved the music. I don't think you need to directly utilize borrowed images, your own are far more fresh and moving and authentic.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

Tim,

Well, let me see? hmmm. Leave off setting the scene with two ships passing in the night with St. Elmo?s fire associated with the masts of ships etc. But I see your perspective, I really do. It sounds tired cliche worn out, expired, stale?

Hmmm, I am protective of my words? have trouble editing sometimes. I see Pantygynt?s class on Free Verse has trimmed your suite of Divorce Poems down to essences of the experience. Really does give almost a shock in the mind?s eye of your wife pounding the For Sale sign into the emerald Zoysia grass of your front yard?

Are things well with you, Tim? Hoping this was way back in the past and since resolved ?

Thanks for your suggestions, truly ?perhaps I should join Pantygynt?s class. I shall put a sticky note on my forehead not to have copious author?s notes trailing off into oblivion at the bottom as well. I give into the fear, my references will be lost on someone that doesn?t know?but less is more

Always,
Senyai

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

Tim,

Well, let me see? hmmm. Leave off setting the scene with two ships passing in the night with St. Elmo?s fire associated with the masts of ships etc. But I see your perspective, I really do. It sounds tired cliche worn out, expired, stale?

Hmmm, I am protective of my words? have trouble editing sometimes. I see Pantygynt?s class on Free Verse has trimmed your suite of Divorce Poems down to essences of the experience. Really does give almost a shock in the mind?s eye of your wife pounding the For Sale sign into the emerald Zoysia grass of your front yard?

Are things well with you, Tim? Hoping this was way back in the past and since resolved ?

Thanks for your suggestions, truly ?perhaps I should join Pantygynt?s class. I shall put a sticky note on my forehead not to have copious author?s notes trailing off into oblivion at the bottom as well. I give into the fear, my references will be lost on someone that doesn?t know?but less is more

Always,
Senyai

reply by Theodore McDowell on 22-Oct-2021

Yes, be protective of your words. The poem is truly one of your best, a masterpiece when you get to the description in the room. My only mild criticism is the exact use of the phrase "ships passing in the night" since it is so well known and so often used. Truly a great poem, Senyai. Hope I didn't offend you with my single suggestion for a stunning poem.

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021

Thank you, Tim?no offense taken. The poem is what it is. But I will hold your suggestions close for my next free verse.

reply by Theodore McDowell on 22-Oct-2021