Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Betrayal Chapter 26"In the title.
43 total reviews
Comment from damommy
Wow! What a nice surprise. I wonder if they could use me to carry their luggage just so I could go, too. lol. The thing that hit me was her coming from the cool air into that awful heat. I'm afraid I'd turn around and stay in the AC. I loved Peter from the first moment I 'saw' him. I think these four will be great friends for a long time to come. (It all seems to real.)
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Wow! What a nice surprise. I wonder if they could use me to carry their luggage just so I could go, too. lol. The thing that hit me was her coming from the cool air into that awful heat. I'm afraid I'd turn around and stay in the AC. I loved Peter from the first moment I 'saw' him. I think these four will be great friends for a long time to come. (It all seems to real.)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Hang on! I've packed myself in one of Tania's cases!! I'll try and move over, see if there's room for you, too! You'd better be thin, because I'm not! Lol.
I just remembered how hot it was when we got off the flight back 30 years ago, in November. I was wearing a thick jumper and trousers, not thinking the weather would be any different than the it is in England at that time of year. What a wally!! I was near passing out by the time we got to our hotel!
My dear sister, your review is just so nice, you've no idea how you made me feel. Thank you so very much, and I've sent you a humungous hug across the pond for the lovely six stars. (I really have to win the lottery so I can come in person!! Thank you, dear SATP. Love always, and warm hugs. Sandra xx
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We'll pray you win the lottery.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Since I am not really an Author I think it is perfect. What a wonderful description of The helicopter ride and Grants home and the great friends and dogs. Well done dear. I love your book. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Since I am not really an Author I think it is perfect. What a wonderful description of The helicopter ride and Grants home and the great friends and dogs. Well done dear. I love your book. Nancy:)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Aww, Nancy! I really must move to America and give you a hug in person. I've so many wonderful friends across the pond, I wonder why I'm still living here!!!
Thank you so much for this lovely review, and all the stars. You are a fine, talented poet, and a really good one! Love you loads, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from muffinmama
So this is how the other half (or 10%) live!
Very calm, laid back atmosphere, as befits the Caribbean Islands. Is this meant to lull the reader into forgetting the danger that will most definitely appear at some point?
In the meantime, I am so enjoying my recollections of the Bahamas!
I have a question: Do they really say 'mi casa es tu casa' in the Bahamas? I've only been down a few times (quick jaunt from Montreal), but I don't remember hearing that expression there. Is it because of their Mexican cook?
As for your descriptions re skin color, I'm didn't notice anything that wasn't accurate or plausible.
Good read!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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So this is how the other half (or 10%) live!
Very calm, laid back atmosphere, as befits the Caribbean Islands. Is this meant to lull the reader into forgetting the danger that will most definitely appear at some point?
In the meantime, I am so enjoying my recollections of the Bahamas!
I have a question: Do they really say 'mi casa es tu casa' in the Bahamas? I've only been down a few times (quick jaunt from Montreal), but I don't remember hearing that expression there. Is it because of their Mexican cook?
As for your descriptions re skin color, I'm didn't notice anything that wasn't accurate or plausible.
Good read!
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Thank you so very much for this lovely review, my friend. I'm glad you are remembering your times in the Bahamas. I've been once, and we've booked a cruise to go there next year if this covid virus allows us. I hope we'll be able to.
Thank goodness you mentioned the 'mi casa es tu casa' no they don't! I've added that Grant's Spanish friends always say it. Phew!!! I don't know why I said the Caribbean's say it! Thank you for that!!
Thank you, also, for your mention about the characters. I don't want to get that wrong, not in today's climate. I'm so pleased you think I have it right. Your review has laid to rest a few of my worries. Thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Jay Squires
although never believed would happen. [I don't know whether it's just me, but this seems too telegraphic in style. I would consider: "...although she never believed it would happen."]
a smile that came out of every movable muscle in his face [Bravo, that!]
they each sat on either side of her. [Each is not needed since you use "either" side of her.]
Something you might want to consider in your narrative next chapter is what your readers might be thinking, as I am: Is there a doctor on the island? How does Latifah get pregnancy care? Who will be delivering the baby? Just a few of the things, I know you've already thought of, that would need to be hinted at or explained so the reader will maintain a sense of reality.
Beautifully and naturally penned, as usual, Sandra.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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although never believed would happen. [I don't know whether it's just me, but this seems too telegraphic in style. I would consider: "...although she never believed it would happen."]
a smile that came out of every movable muscle in his face [Bravo, that!]
they each sat on either side of her. [Each is not needed since you use "either" side of her.]
Something you might want to consider in your narrative next chapter is what your readers might be thinking, as I am: Is there a doctor on the island? How does Latifah get pregnancy care? Who will be delivering the baby? Just a few of the things, I know you've already thought of, that would need to be hinted at or explained so the reader will maintain a sense of reality.
Beautifully and naturally penned, as usual, Sandra.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Thank you again for another wonderful review, Jay. I re-read that sentence in the helicopter, and you are so right!! How embarrassing! I've changed it to read:
....Tania had never been on a helicopter before but it was an experience she?d often said she?d like, although, never in her wildest imagination had she ever believed it would happen.
Now, my pregnant lady, that comes up in a conversation that Tania and Latifah have in the next part. Tania has the same thought you have. You're on the button, my lovely friend. :)) Thank you again for this really helpful review, muy friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Grant surely made a grand impression. I can't imagine what could possibly go wrong here, but I know something will. Nothing can be perfect. I know Grant will do his best to make it perfect.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Grant surely made a grand impression. I can't imagine what could possibly go wrong here, but I know something will. Nothing can be perfect. I know Grant will do his best to make it perfect.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much, Barbara, for another lovely review, and for the sixth golden star! I'm delighted you are still enjoying my book. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Ben Colder
Grant has decked her out in luxury and a paradise to boot.
In checking your characters and disruptions.
The guy Jeff- Romance with who?
Mixed marriage? Is Monica black or white, not that it matters but was wondering.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Grant has decked her out in luxury and a paradise to boot.
In checking your characters and disruptions.
The guy Jeff- Romance with who?
Mixed marriage? Is Monica black or white, not that it matters but was wondering.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Chuck, for this lovely review, and all those stars.
No, Tania and Grant are both white. Jeff is black, and so is Monica. Monica's parents couldn't adopt Tania back then because the social services wanted to find her a white family. But it didn't happen. Tania knew and loved Monica. Tania was only 3 when her parents killed in a car crash. I'd put that in chapter 4, I think, or 5. A while ago!! lol.
I'll make it clearer in the notes that Jeff and Monica are becoming fond of each other. Thank you again, my dear friend. Warm hugs, Sandy. xxxx
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You cleared that up. Do you have a reliable publisher? If so are they expensive?
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No, I'm going to try sending this one out to three that I've found on Google that like this type with some romance in. I don't know if they'll take it, if they don't, it's back to Amazon. Keep your fingers crossed for my. :)
If you are looking for your book, go into Google, put in publishers for historical Native Indian stories and see what comes up. Once you've decided, check out how they want you to send it. They vary a lot. xxx
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
I like your story, Sandra.
It's exciting and it puts me on edge as I sense some impending doom?
Anyway, it is well-written: I especially like the way you describe the ups and downs of the helicopter ride as experienced by Tania.
Great writing, Sandra.
Have a wonderful Sunday,
Good luck in the contest!
Best wishes,
Cindy
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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I like your story, Sandra.
It's exciting and it puts me on edge as I sense some impending doom?
Anyway, it is well-written: I especially like the way you describe the ups and downs of the helicopter ride as experienced by Tania.
Great writing, Sandra.
Have a wonderful Sunday,
Good luck in the contest!
Best wishes,
Cindy
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much, Cindy, for this lovely review. I really appreciated what you said. Have a wonderful week, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
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You?re welcome, Sandra.
Hugs.
Cindy
Comment from Ric Myworld
Sounds like a place to lie in a hammock, drinking iced tea or lemonade, and reading what's to come in your story. And of course, a little napping too. Plus, a couple of those hugs. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Sounds like a place to lie in a hammock, drinking iced tea or lemonade, and reading what's to come in your story. And of course, a little napping too. Plus, a couple of those hugs. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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A couple of hugs?? Is that all??? Lol, thank you so much, my friend, for another of your lovely reviews. I'll get the hammock put up ready for you. Have a lovely week! :)) Sandra xxx
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Hugs are a great starting point for anything! And who knows, do they make a hammock for two? LOL. Have a wonderful week! :-)
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I'll make sure of it!! Lol.
Comment from Leann DS
This was a very nice read with plenty of visual imagery and description that allowed me to picture each scene, and feel some of the emotions of the characters. Your dialogue was realistic and believable. Well done.
If I may, I noticed one word that needs to be changed, in the following paragraph:'What ... a baby! When? How?' Grant leant forward, slapping Peter on his shoulder.
leant should be leaned
I hope this is helpful. Thank you for sharing! Hugs.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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This was a very nice read with plenty of visual imagery and description that allowed me to picture each scene, and feel some of the emotions of the characters. Your dialogue was realistic and believable. Well done.
If I may, I noticed one word that needs to be changed, in the following paragraph:'What ... a baby! When? How?' Grant leant forward, slapping Peter on his shoulder.
leant should be leaned
I hope this is helpful. Thank you for sharing! Hugs.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for another lovely review, Leann. It's lovely to know you think it's realistic and believable. You made my day. :)) The leant v leaned. In the UK, it's always been 'leant' but I think it's coming around to 'leaned'. I've decided to go with your, 'leaned' as I've got more US readers on here, than UK. I've changed it, and will wait to see if any UK readers pick me up!! Lol. Thank you for pointing that out, I love it when I get such helpful reviews. Have a wonderful week, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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Because every other word in your piece was perfect, I thought it was a dialect thing? But I was too lazy to look it up. Cringe. Sorry. Again, I love it!
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No need to say sorry, that does happen lots of times with UK dialect. But, you certainly gave me a huge boost when you said the rest was perfect!!! Thank you!! :)) xx
Comment from Sally Law
Fantastic chapter and so filled with romance, old friendships, and island ambiance. The lush surroundings you described are as I remember them. Hopefully, they can go snorkeling. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Fantastic chapter and so filled with romance, old friendships, and island ambiance. The lush surroundings you described are as I remember them. Hopefully, they can go snorkeling. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
Comment Written 21-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
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Thank you so very much, Sally, for this amazing review, and the lovely stars. You have spoiled me today. I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Bless your heart, my friend. Warm hugs. :)) Sandra xx
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My pleasure. Catching up this week with the previous chapters. Sal XOs...