Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Betrayal Chapter 15"In the title.
40 total reviews
Comment from aryr
This was a brilliant continuation chapter Sandra. Brilliant because although Monica had thought far enough to catch Colin and beat him up, she didn't think about his size nor her defeat. Meanwhile Grant had at least thought to put a tracker device on his vehicle. I can truly understand everyone's frustration. Sure hoping Tania is okay. A great chapter Sandra. Well done, hugs, smiles and blessings to all, and a happy 2021.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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This was a brilliant continuation chapter Sandra. Brilliant because although Monica had thought far enough to catch Colin and beat him up, she didn't think about his size nor her defeat. Meanwhile Grant had at least thought to put a tracker device on his vehicle. I can truly understand everyone's frustration. Sure hoping Tania is okay. A great chapter Sandra. Well done, hugs, smiles and blessings to all, and a happy 2021.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much, Alie for another of your lovely reviews. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. You've always been so encouraging and I really appreciate it. Have a wonderful 2021, stay safe and healthy! Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
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You are very welcome Sandra, I really enjoy this book, it has the suspense and mystery, it has the villian, the damsel in distress and the knight in shiny armour.
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Aw, thank you, Alie! :)) xx
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(smile)
Comment from damommy
Omigosh! I nearly had a heart attack when this man came up on Monica. I thought it was Colin. I hope they can track Colin and find Tania before he hurts her. Gosh, what tension. Not good for this old heart. LOLOLOLOL
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Omigosh! I nearly had a heart attack when this man came up on Monica. I thought it was Colin. I hope they can track Colin and find Tania before he hurts her. Gosh, what tension. Not good for this old heart. LOLOLOLOL
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Lol, Yvonne, you are so funny! Dear Monica is so worried, her brain is frazzled!! I'm sorry I nearly gave you a heart attack, LOL!!! I mean that with all sincerity! LOL!! Thank you so much for your lovely, fun review and all the lovely stars! Bless your heart, dear sister across the pond. I do wish we lived closer, we would have some fun together. Warm hug and much love. Sandra xxx
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I've always thought we could have a barrel of laughs together, and wish we lived closer. I have a house for sale, if you're interested. 8-) Do you think the world could stand us being together? No telling what we'd get into. LOL
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it would be a riot! Lol, I can just imagine us, your sense of humour is deliciously wicked, we'd have such a hilliarious time. :)) xxxxx
Comment from Ulla
Oh, Sandra, this was a great chapter, I loved the way you fooled me in thinking that it was Colin attacking Monica, having somehow found out what she was up to. Thank God it was not. Now she even feels quite attracted to this Jeff. I love it. But Tania is still missing and in danger. Great writing! Ulla xxxx
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Oh, Sandra, this was a great chapter, I loved the way you fooled me in thinking that it was Colin attacking Monica, having somehow found out what she was up to. Thank God it was not. Now she even feels quite attracted to this Jeff. I love it. But Tania is still missing and in danger. Great writing! Ulla xxxx
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you so very much for this wonderful review, Ulla, and that golden star!!! You have put a humongous smile on my face. I'm delighted you are enjoying this story. Thanks, dear friend. Warm hugs, and Happy New Year. :)) Sandra xxx
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And happy New year to you, dear friend. xxx
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Great story!
Noticed a typo in the paragraph:
What the hell is he doing? Is it Colin? Should I just casually walk past and glance in the window? Hmm, that sounds like a plan. She started to rise, then dropped back again. But s'possin' it is him? What if he's just being careful? Tania (Monica) tried to make the binoculars zoom in, but it made no difference. If I was to go, and he sees me, he'll guess I'm on to him and probably drive off. No, stay still and wait to see what happens next.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Great story!
Noticed a typo in the paragraph:
What the hell is he doing? Is it Colin? Should I just casually walk past and glance in the window? Hmm, that sounds like a plan. She started to rise, then dropped back again. But s'possin' it is him? What if he's just being careful? Tania (Monica) tried to make the binoculars zoom in, but it made no difference. If I was to go, and he sees me, he'll guess I'm on to him and probably drive off. No, stay still and wait to see what happens next.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, Rebecca, and the golden stars! I've made the correction, that is the second time I've done that in the novel! I think I take after my dear father. He would go through all our names before he got the right one. We used to laugh that at least we knew there were no other brothers or sisters around that we didn't know about! Lol. Thank you, my friend. I hope you had a lovely Christmas and I wish you the best ever New Year. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
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You are so sweet!
Comment from Mistydawn
I thought Collin had Monica too. I'm so glad it wasn't him. She does need to be more careful, although I can understand why she did it. At least she knows Grant is doing what he can, using different resources to find her. Your story is well-written, interesting, believable, very suspenseful. You had me on the edge of my seat. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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I thought Collin had Monica too. I'm so glad it wasn't him. She does need to be more careful, although I can understand why she did it. At least she knows Grant is doing what he can, using different resources to find her. Your story is well-written, interesting, believable, very suspenseful. You had me on the edge of my seat. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Monica is a character who will jump in a puddle without checking first to see if it's a deep hole! :))Thank you so much, dear Misty, for this lovely review and the golden star! I love your reviews, my friend. Warm hugs, and have a wonderful 2021! Sandra xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Is there a budding romance between Jeff and Monica?? I hope so. This post was scary but funny at the same time. I really liked it.
Hmm, that sounds like a plan. She started to rise, then dropped back again. But supposing it is him? What if he's just being careful? Tania tried to make the binoculars zoom in, but it made no difference. (I thought this was Monica in action???)
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Is there a budding romance between Jeff and Monica?? I hope so. This post was scary but funny at the same time. I really liked it.
Hmm, that sounds like a plan. She started to rise, then dropped back again. But supposing it is him? What if he's just being careful? Tania tried to make the binoculars zoom in, but it made no difference. (I thought this was Monica in action???)
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Bless your heart, Barbara! I have done that once before, putting Tania's name instead of Monica. I really must watch that. Thak you so much for this lovely review, and I'm glad you liked the touch of humour with the scary parts. It breaks it up a bit. Watch out for Monica and Jeff! Lol. Warm hugs, my friend. Happy New Year! :) Sandra xx
Comment from Pantygynt
With all those people involved confusion was bound to occur and I had the guy sussed as one of Grant's ex-SAS team immediately.
This was a fun episode and I wonder if that had been your intention. One point:
'But s'possin' it is him?' This is a 'thought' rather than direct speech so I would have it in full - supposing, and anyway why the double 's' and single 'p'?
Despite these remarks this is still a good story and so different from what you have done before. It is good to go experimenting, even when not all the experiments work.
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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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With all those people involved confusion was bound to occur and I had the guy sussed as one of Grant's ex-SAS team immediately.
This was a fun episode and I wonder if that had been your intention. One point:
'But s'possin' it is him?' This is a 'thought' rather than direct speech so I would have it in full - supposing, and anyway why the double 's' and single 'p'?
Despite these remarks this is still a good story and so different from what you have done before. It is good to go experimenting, even when not all the experiments work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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My fingers appear to have run ahead of themselves putting the 'double' in the wrong letter. :( Corrected now. I always manage to miss at least one mistake, and more when it comes to the dreaded commas. Thanks for reading this part, Jim. Happy New Year!! :) Sandra xx
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Don't stop It makes our presence seem justified! As your SAS friends would say 'Always leave something for the inspecting Rupert to find!'
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LOL, don't worry, that will never happen. :))
Comment from RetroStarfish
An exciting chapter - action, tension and the plot moving forward at a brisk pace.
I like that you invest in describing your character's emotional state: "Relief and shock colliding head on, creating havoc with her sensory system."
While this is a strength, it can also be good to "show not tell" the reader, for example a character who is afraid might feel a dampness behind the knees, or show relief by expelling a long-held breath. Just a suggestion. The chapter is great and I can't wait to read more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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An exciting chapter - action, tension and the plot moving forward at a brisk pace.
I like that you invest in describing your character's emotional state: "Relief and shock colliding head on, creating havoc with her sensory system."
While this is a strength, it can also be good to "show not tell" the reader, for example a character who is afraid might feel a dampness behind the knees, or show relief by expelling a long-held breath. Just a suggestion. The chapter is great and I can't wait to read more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Those are good suggestion, and I'll be using them. Thank you for that, and the lovely review you have given this chapter. I really appreciated your comments. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-An excellent chapter, Sandra.
-It certainly didn't lack for action or suspense!
-You show how determined Monica is,
as well as her loyalty to Tania.
-I can understand her frustration,
but I wouldn't have had the nerve she did.
-I was guessing it was one of the agents
who approached her, but it wasn't clear at first.
-I thought it might have been Colin.
-I really enjoyed reading the scene in the car.
-It seems Monica might be a little bit
smitten by Jeff.
-Even though both men were formerly
agents, I liked their friendly approach
and concern about Monica and reassuring
her that they will be working hard on the case.
-Very well done, my friend!
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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-An excellent chapter, Sandra.
-It certainly didn't lack for action or suspense!
-You show how determined Monica is,
as well as her loyalty to Tania.
-I can understand her frustration,
but I wouldn't have had the nerve she did.
-I was guessing it was one of the agents
who approached her, but it wasn't clear at first.
-I thought it might have been Colin.
-I really enjoyed reading the scene in the car.
-It seems Monica might be a little bit
smitten by Jeff.
-Even though both men were formerly
agents, I liked their friendly approach
and concern about Monica and reassuring
her that they will be working hard on the case.
-Very well done, my friend!
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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I'm really pleased you enjoyed the scene in the car, Pam, I'm going to build on that slowly. ;)
Thank you so much for the shiny six stars and this lovely review. I really appreciate your comments and all the points you've picked out, now I can relax a little! Lol. I hope your weather has picked up a bot and is brighter now. It hasn't here. :( Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxxx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. I am sure you will built slowly on that scene. They have a lot to do first before that. Yesterday was pleasant; today is rainy.
Comment from BethShelby
This was a scary scene for Monica. I thought she was about to be in Colin's clutches as well as Tania. It was a relief to find that he was one of Grant's men. I found it amusing that Monica found him gorgeous. I'm anxious to see what happens next. I'm loving your novel.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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This was a scary scene for Monica. I thought she was about to be in Colin's clutches as well as Tania. It was a relief to find that he was one of Grant's men. I found it amusing that Monica found him gorgeous. I'm anxious to see what happens next. I'm loving your novel.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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AW, thank you so much, Beth, for this lovely review and the six stars! You are my first, and already you have made my day. I'm really happy that you are enjoying my story, my friend. Sending you a warm hug! Stay safe and well. Sandra xxx