Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Betrayal Chapter 13"In the title.
42 total reviews
Comment from estory
This chapter really picked up steam as it went on. The conversation between Tania and Colin was tense, sharp, and pointed. I thought I could hear the emotions in the voices, the struggling Tania, still groggy, coming to grips with what's happened to her and trying to stymie Colin as much as possible, and the frustrated, agitated Colin, desperate and pushing into menace as he deals with her, holding that chair over her head and threatening her. I like the descriptions of the room, the attention to details was really good. estory
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
  |
This chapter really picked up steam as it went on. The conversation between Tania and Colin was tense, sharp, and pointed. I thought I could hear the emotions in the voices, the struggling Tania, still groggy, coming to grips with what's happened to her and trying to stymie Colin as much as possible, and the frustrated, agitated Colin, desperate and pushing into menace as he deals with her, holding that chair over her head and threatening her. I like the descriptions of the room, the attention to details was really good. estory
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
What a lovely review, Estory, thank you so very much! I'm delighted you are so into my story, that is so very encouraging. Have a wonderful Christmas, my friend, and hopefully, a virus free 2021. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Sanku
Oh God .So Colin has her recorder .Now I am hoping he will not torture her . She will think of some smart move .Or between Grant and monica some plan will evolve. great I am waiting for more
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
 |
Oh God .So Colin has her recorder .Now I am hoping he will not torture her . She will think of some smart move .Or between Grant and monica some plan will evolve. great I am waiting for more
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
Colin has really got himself into a hole. And that's what's worrying her now. Thank you so very much for the six stars, and your lovely review, my friend. I really do appreciate you. Have a wonderful Christmas, and a virus free 2021. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Mistydawn
Fasto, I'll have to remember that. I sure hope Monica has a plan since Grant's flimsy idea failed. He should've known he wouldn't give up his location. Collins isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's not the dullest either. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting, believable. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
|
Fasto, I'll have to remember that. I sure hope Monica has a plan since Grant's flimsy idea failed. He should've known he wouldn't give up his location. Collins isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's not the dullest either. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting, believable. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
Thank you, dear Misty, for another of you lovely reviews. I'm pleased as punch you are still enjoying the story. The six stars are wonderful, thank you, my friend. Have a wonderful Christmas, and I'm wishing everyone a healthier New Year. Let's hope 2021 clears away the virus. :)) Sandra xxx
-
You have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year too.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is not good for Tania. How will Grant find her in time. What will Collin do if she won't give him the password. I have numerous questions about this situation and none of my outcomes are good. I like this story.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
|
This is not good for Tania. How will Grant find her in time. What will Collin do if she won't give him the password. I have numerous questions about this situation and none of my outcomes are good. I like this story.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
Tania is in more trouble than she realises. Thank you so much for this lovely review, Barbara. You are always so encouraging with your words and I really appreciate it. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Sandra, a good chapter with the usual cliff-hanger - we could do without it and you could just carry on - not much else to do at Christmas. LOL! Well this chapter sounded good and convincing. You made it clear that Colin was an architect and had his licence, which did not make Grant appear as gullible, regarding his half-brother, as he appeared to be, in previous chapter. Well done. Have a good Christmas, despite the state of things. It is starting to become very frightening - the state of things with this new variant of the virus. I don't think anyone thought this would last so long and I can't see it improving much in the near future - take care - stay safe and remain happy. Love Dorothy xxx
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
|
Hi Sandra, a good chapter with the usual cliff-hanger - we could do without it and you could just carry on - not much else to do at Christmas. LOL! Well this chapter sounded good and convincing. You made it clear that Colin was an architect and had his licence, which did not make Grant appear as gullible, regarding his half-brother, as he appeared to be, in previous chapter. Well done. Have a good Christmas, despite the state of things. It is starting to become very frightening - the state of things with this new variant of the virus. I don't think anyone thought this would last so long and I can't see it improving much in the near future - take care - stay safe and remain happy. Love Dorothy xxx
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
Aw, thank you for those lovely stars, Dorothy. That is so kind of you. I took your review to heart, as I always do, and I'm just so grateful you raised the point. Now I'm much happier with it as well. I'm glad you liked how I overcame it.
The virus has mutated and is moving across the UK faster than ever. When will it stop? We're going to my son and his family for Christmas day. They were having us first and then Susie's parents on Boxing day. Now that will change. I hope you'll have a good one, and let's all hope that 2021 will see an end to it with the new vaccines. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
-
Yes, Sandra, you slipped it in seemlessly without an obvious add-in. Love Dorothy xxx
Comment from Ben Colder
That loser just might hurt her. He's a nut. All for money? What a nut. This story is one your best. Again, I'm hooked. I see nothing wrong. I was to engrossed with the story. LOL.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
|
That loser just might hurt her. He's a nut. All for money? What a nut. This story is one your best. Again, I'm hooked. I see nothing wrong. I was to engrossed with the story. LOL.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
Thank you so much, Chuck, for those lovely stars! What a lovely thing to say about this story, I'm over the moon that you are enjoying it. :)) Tania isn't in a nice place at the moment and no one knows where she it. :((
Have a wonderful Christmas, my dear friend, and let's pray that 2021 will bring an end to this virus. Warm hugs, and much love. Sandy. xxx
-
He will end it when the time in right. It is the next move we need to be concern about. Please pray for our nation it has fallen in the hands of traitors.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Another excellent chapter, Sandra.
-Colin is definitely a creep!
-I'm glad to see Tania is okay,
and she is playing her part well,
not giving any indication she knows Grant.
-You describe the scene with her
coming to very well, and also
depict Colin very well, too.
-He obviously has a big problem,
and leaves Tania little choice.
-I had forgotten about the recorder,
but obviously, Colin didn't overlook it!
-The next steps will be interesting,
and I would guess that Grant and Monica
will be involved in the rescue somehow.
-Well done!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
|
-Another excellent chapter, Sandra.
-Colin is definitely a creep!
-I'm glad to see Tania is okay,
and she is playing her part well,
not giving any indication she knows Grant.
-You describe the scene with her
coming to very well, and also
depict Colin very well, too.
-He obviously has a big problem,
and leaves Tania little choice.
-I had forgotten about the recorder,
but obviously, Colin didn't overlook it!
-The next steps will be interesting,
and I would guess that Grant and Monica
will be involved in the rescue somehow.
-Well done!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
Thank you so much, my dear friend. I missed not having yours to start my day.
Your guess is right, Grant and Monica will both be thinking of ways to find Tania. I'm so pleased you liked how I've written this part, Pam, it now leads to some important area's of the story. Thank you for those lovely six stars, too, my friend. You're the best! Warm hugs, and much love. Sandra xxx
-
You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. This year is the most I have ever posted on FS. I have a backlog of poems.
I imagine the New Year will bring some more drama to the situation! Looking forward to it.
I'm contemplating putting a short poem in for the 1st to get 1 of the 4 required. It is short and already in preview mode; I just have to add notes.
Comment from BethShelby
This is an exciting and unsettling chapter. Colin is a very evil character and Tania seems to be a lot of danger from this man. I can't wait to find out how Grant will go about trying to locate them. I love your story. Also I need to thank you for recommending my book to your friend from Scotland. She started with the prologue and has read five chapters and I couldn't believe she gave me 6-stars on each of them, in spite of the fact that they aren't paying anything any more.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
|
This is an exciting and unsettling chapter. Colin is a very evil character and Tania seems to be a lot of danger from this man. I can't wait to find out how Grant will go about trying to locate them. I love your story. Also I need to thank you for recommending my book to your friend from Scotland. She started with the prologue and has read five chapters and I couldn't believe she gave me 6-stars on each of them, in spite of the fact that they aren't paying anything any more.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
Thank you so much, Beth, for such a lovely review and all those stars. Yes, Tania is in a lot of danger. Have a wonderful Christmas, and let's all hope we get a much better 2021! Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
I'm so pleased Alexis is reading your story. She is a widow, too, and I knew she would enjoy it. I think it's such a good idea, and your children will learn so much about you and their father, and will appreciate you even more. :) xx
Comment from RetroStarfish
Nice chapter. The plot moves forward at a nice pace. Lots of action. I love this line: "...but her legs had been robbed of their bones..."
A few typos:
Did you put spike my drink?'
'That was the easy part. You were fasto ...
'Enough of this time-wasting bravado crap. Give me your passwords
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
|
Nice chapter. The plot moves forward at a nice pace. Lots of action. I love this line: "...but her legs had been robbed of their bones..."
A few typos:
Did you put spike my drink?'
'That was the easy part. You were fasto ...
'Enough of this time-wasting bravado crap. Give me your passwords
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
Thank you so much for this lovely, helpful review, my friend. I've made all the corrections. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. The action will begin shifting up a notch now. :)) Have a wonderful Christmas and let's all hope for a much better 2021. Sandra x
-
You are welcome. And, ditto on 2021!!!
Comment from Pantygynt
So we are left with a cliff hanger for Christmas. Will Colin resort to physical torture or will the threat be enough? My guessed answer to that is neither! I am reckoning you couldn't take us through a physical torture scene and Tania is too gutsy to crumble under the threat. Somehow I think you will take us sideways to get out of this problem.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
|
So we are left with a cliff hanger for Christmas. Will Colin resort to physical torture or will the threat be enough? My guessed answer to that is neither! I am reckoning you couldn't take us through a physical torture scene and Tania is too gutsy to crumble under the threat. Somehow I think you will take us sideways to get out of this problem.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2020
-
I'm not saying a word about which parts you've got right, and which you've got wrong. :)).
I had to take this part right off because I posted my un-edited part. When I read Robyn's review, I thought, I changed that! And I did, and more, on the new edited copy. I am really in need of a long holiday.
Thank you for reading, Jim, and your nice comments. (even though you're wrong! Lol) Warm hugs! Sandra xx
Looks like we're all in for a miserable Christmas. Hope your's is a good one. I loved your Christmas card you sent on e.mail. Brilliant.
-
I wasted a morning writing that silliness but it was kind of therapeutic. I'm not surprised I am wrong with my guesses. I usually am! Enjoy your Christmas.
-
Time writing is never wasted, Jim, you should know that. :) You have a lovely Christmas, too. I'm looking forward to reading the start of the sequel. Will that be next week?
-
No. I am posting the post script later today and the fist chapter of the new book on Christmas Eve (Thursday).
-
Christmas Eve? Well, under the new restrictions, people won't have a lot else to do. I can't wait to see where you take us. Will My Tom be there? Or will he disappear like Sean? Heather will be really upset with him leaving. So will I! Could be I'll learn what happens to him when you post the post script. :))
-
You might have to wait a bit longer than that.