Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Betrayal Chapter 5"In the title.
41 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, she told him, and good for her. I enjoyed this chapter, Sandra. I like the way you used italics to show what Grant and Tania were thinking. Your theme is well-expressed. I'm sure Grant will find the answer to the thief.' I believe e both of them really like each other and neither is willing to be the first to make amends.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Well, she told him, and good for her. I enjoyed this chapter, Sandra. I like the way you used italics to show what Grant and Tania were thinking. Your theme is well-expressed. I'm sure Grant will find the answer to the thief.' I believe e both of them really like each other and neither is willing to be the first to make amends.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Oh, I'm so glad you liked this part, Jan, I hoped their chat would come over in the right way. Thank you so very much for your kind, and most encouraging review, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
You've unleashed a couple of brilliant episodes at the beginning of your story, unlike some writers I've read, you fire a few literary salvos before the meat of the story begins, perhaps it's the poetic in you, with poetry it can start to run out. Beautifully written Sandra, as always, great scene and personality setting, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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You've unleashed a couple of brilliant episodes at the beginning of your story, unlike some writers I've read, you fire a few literary salvos before the meat of the story begins, perhaps it's the poetic in you, with poetry it can start to run out. Beautifully written Sandra, as always, great scene and personality setting, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Thank you so very much for this really lovely review, Roy! Your wonderful compliments have really made me blush! (You'd think I'd be too old for that, wouldn't you? lol.) You are really made my day, I can now go to bed with a smile on my face. Sending you a special hug, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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Good job
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A very good chapter, Sandra,
and a very lively conversation.
-The opening paragraphs are very good,
as the restaurant is described, as well
as the inner feelings of each character.
-I would say it is a spirited dialogue
with neither one backing down.
-They have met their match, and both
of them feel a few of those sparks,
but at the same time are on their guard,
and at others, they are exasperated.
-But I think Tania handled it well, and
Grant is going to have to do something
about his brother because his own company
is at risk if he doesn't, it would seem to me.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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-A very good chapter, Sandra,
and a very lively conversation.
-The opening paragraphs are very good,
as the restaurant is described, as well
as the inner feelings of each character.
-I would say it is a spirited dialogue
with neither one backing down.
-They have met their match, and both
of them feel a few of those sparks,
but at the same time are on their guard,
and at others, they are exasperated.
-But I think Tania handled it well, and
Grant is going to have to do something
about his brother because his own company
is at risk if he doesn't, it would seem to me.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Yes, you are right about Grant having to have a chat to his half-brother. That will be interesting!
Thank you so much for this lovely, detailed review, Pam, and all the shiny stars. I'm so pleased you liked it. I thought what you said about it being a spirited dialogue, and still being on their guard, was lovely. I tried to make it
as real as I could, without over doing it. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Love Sandra xx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. I am sure it will be interesting, and I bet it is fun to write, too! You did the dialogue just right, IMHO:)
Comment from Pantygynt
First off. It didn't feel long. It engaged me right away and at the end of it we are still no further on. Grant still hasn't revealed the name of his other architect so the guilt is probably there. This I like.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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First off. It didn't feel long. It engaged me right away and at the end of it we are still no further on. Grant still hasn't revealed the name of his other architect so the guilt is probably there. This I like.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much, Jim, for the lovely six stars, but more for your really lovely review. I'm so pleased you liked this part. Coming from you, it's most appreciated. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
I hope to be able to have that chat in a couple of days. I'll PM you. xx
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I will look forward to that.
Comment from blondie560
I don't think it was long at all! I'm hoping to get more backstory on Colin and Tania and what a low life he is. There are a couple of lines that I found distracting to read: Grant noted the, his not hers and filed that away. I think maybe something like Grant noted she said his and not hers, and filed it away. Or Grant noted the his not hers comment and filed it away. Just a suggestion. Also: That is as maybe, but that doesn't mean. I think it's be that as may, it doesn't mean, or say that may be true, but that doesn't mean. Again just a suggestion to make it flow better.
Keep on posting! Sally
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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I don't think it was long at all! I'm hoping to get more backstory on Colin and Tania and what a low life he is. There are a couple of lines that I found distracting to read: Grant noted the, his not hers and filed that away. I think maybe something like Grant noted she said his and not hers, and filed it away. Or Grant noted the his not hers comment and filed it away. Just a suggestion. Also: That is as maybe, but that doesn't mean. I think it's be that as may, it doesn't mean, or say that may be true, but that doesn't mean. Again just a suggestion to make it flow better.
Keep on posting! Sally
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Hi Sally, thank you so much for your very helpful review. I've made some changes now, so thank you for pointing out your thoughts. It helps me enormoursly when I get feedback like yours. I really appreciated you lovely review. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Ulla
Hi Sandra, I love the story and it is moving along nicely. The tension between the two of them is crystal clear. Only a couple of things:
And while we're the subject,= And while we're on the subject,
'Yes, if such a thing happened, I most probably would,' she conceded, reluctantly. = 'Yes, ....' she reluctantly conceded. I think it reads smoother that way.
Now, what's next? A hug. Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Hi Sandra, I love the story and it is moving along nicely. The tension between the two of them is crystal clear. Only a couple of things:
And while we're the subject,= And while we're on the subject,
'Yes, if such a thing happened, I most probably would,' she conceded, reluctantly. = 'Yes, ....' she reluctantly conceded. I think it reads smoother that way.
Now, what's next? A hug. Ulla xxx
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Oh, thank you, Ulla, for catching that missing word, and yes, I've changed that sentence around. Thank you so much!! Things will get worse before they get better. Thank you for those lovely six stars, my dear friend, I really appreciated them and the helpful review. Warm hugs, love Sandra xxx
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Very much deserved. xx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
She IS cantankerous, Sandra. I am surprised anyone as sweet as you can come up with such an arrogant personality at all. LOL They will be surprised when they learn they both suspect the same fellow. That will clear up the muddy waters for smooth sailing in the future! Good job, Dear. Nancy:) xx
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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She IS cantankerous, Sandra. I am surprised anyone as sweet as you can come up with such an arrogant personality at all. LOL They will be surprised when they learn they both suspect the same fellow. That will clear up the muddy waters for smooth sailing in the future! Good job, Dear. Nancy:) xx
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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LOL! I am on both their sides, but they have to learn a few things before they start changing their opinions of each other. It won't be an easy road for either of them for a long while. Thank you so much for this lovely review, and the six stars, my dear friend. I really did appreciate them. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I admire Tania's strength. Grant is in for a roller coaster ride and we get to be on it. I can't wait. You are doing a great job writing this. I am on pins and needles waiting for the next post.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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I admire Tania's strength. Grant is in for a roller coaster ride and we get to be on it. I can't wait. You are doing a great job writing this. I am on pins and needles waiting for the next post.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for this lovely review and the shiny six stars, Barbara. Yes, Tania is not in awe of him and his wealth, she just wants her name cleared. Thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, you're gonna need that strength, Grant.... because he obviously is. Sorry, Dude. :) ;) Another great chapter for the story line here, Sandra -- just love that Tania and her temper/attitude!! You go girl!! ;) :) Thanx for sharing, my lady, and I look so forward to Grant's meeting with his brother next week! ;) :) Yvette
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reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Oh, you're gonna need that strength, Grant.... because he obviously is. Sorry, Dude. :) ;) Another great chapter for the story line here, Sandra -- just love that Tania and her temper/attitude!! You go girl!! ;) :) Thanx for sharing, my lady, and I look so forward to Grant's meeting with his brother next week! ;) :) Yvette
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much, my dear Yvette. Now she has been accused of something so awful, she doesn't have to mind her Ps and Qs. I think they are hitting it off quite well, don't you? LOL!! Thank you for those lovely comments, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xxxx
Comment from RShipp
I liked how Tania and Grant were both reflecting on Tania's entrance into the restaurant.
'...why you would want to talk to a thief again.' Being very direct and to the point. (She is the one trying to be in control.)
'And while we're the subject, I am not one of your little floozies running around doing your bidding...' (The girl has guts!)
Enjoyed!
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reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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I liked how Tania and Grant were both reflecting on Tania's entrance into the restaurant.
'...why you would want to talk to a thief again.' Being very direct and to the point. (She is the one trying to be in control.)
'And while we're the subject, I am not one of your little floozies running around doing your bidding...' (The girl has guts!)
Enjoyed!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
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Thank you, I'm glad you liked the way Tania handled herself. I like to think she is a little like me. Lol. Thanks so much for this lovely review, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx