Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Football Chapter 2 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
25 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
This was great work and a good continuation in this new story which I am enjoying very much. Not a spag anywhere notice all the boys are "J's" hehe. One of my other favourite writers is also posting to my e-mail for when I leave. I think we are friends on Facebook or post to sankey48@yahoo.com.au after I am gone thanks. Possibly gone in November ubnless I do a $10 a month thing for a little while.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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This was great work and a good continuation in this new story which I am enjoying very much. Not a spag anywhere notice all the boys are "J's" hehe. One of my other favourite writers is also posting to my e-mail for when I leave. I think we are friends on Facebook or post to sankey48@yahoo.com.au after I am gone thanks. Possibly gone in November ubnless I do a $10 a month thing for a little while.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. You better not be gone. LOL
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this is a great story, and now we are getting some back story. I'm looking forward to see how it all fits in.
"After Joel, her third son was born; Katherine decided to get an education. George knew nothing about it until after Jeremy was born. Three weeks after he was born, she graduated. George was not happy. This is her first teaching experience." = You have 3 'born' in this short paragraph. I would try to rephrase some of them.
Have a lovely long weekend. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Hi Barbara, this is a great story, and now we are getting some back story. I'm looking forward to see how it all fits in.
"After Joel, her third son was born; Katherine decided to get an education. George knew nothing about it until after Jeremy was born. Three weeks after he was born, she graduated. George was not happy. This is her first teaching experience." = You have 3 'born' in this short paragraph. I would try to rephrase some of them.
Have a lovely long weekend. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Thank you, I will see what I can do about the born.
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
Super chapter. It's all starting to come together now - we're starting to visualize where you're going with the plotline. I agree with the Principal, I think Gabe will win her over -- maybe not in a month, like last time --but slowly and surely.
Nice work!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Barbara,
Super chapter. It's all starting to come together now - we're starting to visualize where you're going with the plotline. I agree with the Principal, I think Gabe will win her over -- maybe not in a month, like last time --but slowly and surely.
Nice work!
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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It will be much slower, I promise and many ups and downs. The reason this novel is longer.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
I am already looking everyday for your post notification. I love this story, and I can tell it will be intriguing. How can it not be with so many males? ha ha
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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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I am already looking everyday for your post notification. I love this story, and I can tell it will be intriguing. How can it not be with so many males? ha ha
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Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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You're always welcome!
Comment from teols2016
Another strong installment. It's nice to get some history, though I question if it is right for the principal to be sharing it all like that, regardless of everyone's connections I also noticed a grammar issue along the way
"He died six months, ago." should be "He died six months ago."
Otherwise, well done.
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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Another strong installment. It's nice to get some history, though I question if it is right for the principal to be sharing it all like that, regardless of everyone's connections I also noticed a grammar issue along the way
"He died six months, ago." should be "He died six months ago."
Otherwise, well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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I wish you would've shared the grammar issues so I would know where to go to fix them.