Chip's Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Four Seconds"FanStory Collection
42 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker
Hi, Chip.
I really like your poem. I visited Frisco a few times and even crossed this great bridge. Many people spoke of the number of persons who jump in a year. There have been a few who have survived.
Your poem is excellent. I read you notes, thank you. They were helpful.
Good luck in the contest.
Cindy
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Hi, Chip.
I really like your poem. I visited Frisco a few times and even crossed this great bridge. Many people spoke of the number of persons who jump in a year. There have been a few who have survived.
Your poem is excellent. I read you notes, thank you. They were helpful.
Good luck in the contest.
Cindy
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Cindy.
Comment from donette1914
very sad for ones to jump and end their lives
very creative and your words came to life
you worked hard on this and it shows, very enjoyable piece
thank you for sharing
it was a pleasure
I hope for best in the contest
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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very sad for ones to jump and end their lives
very creative and your words came to life
you worked hard on this and it shows, very enjoyable piece
thank you for sharing
it was a pleasure
I hope for best in the contest
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from royowen
Yes, we've walked part way across the Golden Gate Bridge, and its a long way down, I like the analogy of gravity being the unwitting friend, beautifully written, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Yes, we've walked part way across the Golden Gate Bridge, and its a long way down, I like the analogy of gravity being the unwitting friend, beautifully written, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Many thanks, Roy!
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Well done
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Wow, what a compelling contest entry. The presentation is super. I like the image, the end rhymes, and the way you told this sad story of desperate people who jump from the Golden Gate Bridge.
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Wow, what a compelling contest entry. The presentation is super. I like the image, the end rhymes, and the way you told this sad story of desperate people who jump from the Golden Gate Bridge.
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Han!
Comment from Reese Turner
I've always been a big fan of gravity, but not in the way you describe. You leave no room for an anti-gravity change to the conclusion, but the format left you no room. May we hope that all who dare consider the finality of those four seconds.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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I've always been a big fan of gravity, but not in the way you describe. You leave no room for an anti-gravity change to the conclusion, but the format left you no room. May we hope that all who dare consider the finality of those four seconds.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Indeed. Thanks, Reese.
Comment from Tina Crute
This is a jarring poem that made me a bit sad, but I do see that you are effective in making all the parts of your presentation fit together. The words, meaning, picture and overall format go well together. Not being able to see the end of the bridge, is also and end of sorts.
Just a suggestion...you could put the National suicide hotline number in your author's notes.
Tina
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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This is a jarring poem that made me a bit sad, but I do see that you are effective in making all the parts of your presentation fit together. The words, meaning, picture and overall format go well together. Not being able to see the end of the bridge, is also and end of sorts.
Just a suggestion...you could put the National suicide hotline number in your author's notes.
Tina
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Tina.
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, though a horrid experience I am certain, this write describes it graphically and darkly illuminated - fully compliant with the prompt. Best wishes in the contest for this stunning presentation...
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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In my opinion, though a horrid experience I am certain, this write describes it graphically and darkly illuminated - fully compliant with the prompt. Best wishes in the contest for this stunning presentation...
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Eve.
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You are very welcome indeed, Chip...Eve
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Just a few words and a photograph can tell quite the tale when in the hands of a master.
Well done. I love the concept of gravity anyway, being a former physics teacher, but the interplay with meaning is even better. If I was still in the classroom, I would print your poem and put it on the wall.
Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Just a few words and a photograph can tell quite the tale when in the hands of a master.
Well done. I love the concept of gravity anyway, being a former physics teacher, but the interplay with meaning is even better. If I was still in the classroom, I would print your poem and put it on the wall.
Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Rhonda- couldn't imagine a greater compliment than that!
Comment from Susan Louise Gabriel
This is a really excellent poem - I wish I still had six stars to give. You've said so much in just six words - well eight really, because the title puts the whole poem into perspective.
Excellent job!
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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This is a really excellent poem - I wish I still had six stars to give. You've said so much in just six words - well eight really, because the title puts the whole poem into perspective.
Excellent job!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Susan!
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Six words Chip that are powerful and it does give a reader an image of despair and the end.
Only 4 seconds that is a remarkable statement.
Good luck with the contest
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Six words Chip that are powerful and it does give a reader an image of despair and the end.
Only 4 seconds that is a remarkable statement.
Good luck with the contest
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Many thanks, Mary!