Forks in the Road
A moment in time27 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a really interesting story that kept me racing along to keep up with it. It is complete, no queries left dangling, and as such is satisfactory to me. I like such an old-fashioned moralistic offering, where good (education and application) triumphs over evil (the power of the street). I particularly liked the last short paragraph, bringing us up into the preent day.
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This is a really interesting story that kept me racing along to keep up with it. It is complete, no queries left dangling, and as such is satisfactory to me. I like such an old-fashioned moralistic offering, where good (education and application) triumphs over evil (the power of the street). I particularly liked the last short paragraph, bringing us up into the preent day.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
Comment from fiona mcarlein
This was a compelling read and I found that I did not want to get to the finish. I felt that there may have been an odd word left out in places but overall it did not change my opinion. A very well written piece.
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This was a compelling read and I found that I did not want to get to the finish. I felt that there may have been an odd word left out in places but overall it did not change my opinion. A very well written piece.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Powerful! Masterful description of the events and what ensued--you skillfully depict your feelings in the moment and in the aftermath. Quite a closer. Fine work. Cheers. LIZ
Congrats on your prize--not surprised!
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Powerful! Masterful description of the events and what ensued--you skillfully depict your feelings in the moment and in the aftermath. Quite a closer. Fine work. Cheers. LIZ
Congrats on your prize--not surprised!
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
Comment from Gloria ....
This is a great story of how some young children were well on the way to becoming delinquents when the full gravity of the consequences became apparent. Glad to learn you were able to turn your life around.
Just a couple of small proofing nits:
It had arch, (arc) speed, and for a minute,
like he was trying to see the reason we had done that [to] him in our faces.
I could feela heaviness in the air.
The shine was almost memorizing (mesmerizing)
and the bitter taste of my half digested (half-digested) breakfast coming back for seconds.
Tracy and I broke up less [than] two days later.
taught me how to follow orders and be one (on) time.
I guess for some it takes more than a brush with death to change your (their) life.
Easy repairs I am sure and I wish you much luck with the Contest Committee.
Gloria
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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This is a great story of how some young children were well on the way to becoming delinquents when the full gravity of the consequences became apparent. Glad to learn you were able to turn your life around.
Just a couple of small proofing nits:
It had arch, (arc) speed, and for a minute,
like he was trying to see the reason we had done that [to] him in our faces.
I could feel
The shine was almost memorizing (mesmerizing)
and the bitter taste of my half digested (half-digested) breakfast coming back for seconds.
Tracy and I broke up less [than] two days later.
taught me how to follow orders and be one (on) time.
I guess for some it takes more than a brush with death to change your (their) life.
Easy repairs I am sure and I wish you much luck with the Contest Committee.
Gloria
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much. I swear there are times I think, what was I looking at.
Comment from equestrik
This is a starkly sobering write. I am glad you were brave enough to write it. In the line: '..reason we had done that him in our faces.' It doesn't read well. In the line, 'The shine was almost memorizing' I think you meant mesmerizing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is a starkly sobering write. I am glad you were brave enough to write it. In the line: '..reason we had done that him in our faces.' It doesn't read well. In the line, 'The shine was almost memorizing' I think you meant mesmerizing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
Comment from amada
This is a very well written story with a great lesson. The details are very well written, for sure they still live in your mind. The end was predictable, however. Nevertheless it was a great lesson. So glad you made it safe.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is a very well written story with a great lesson. The details are very well written, for sure they still live in your mind. The end was predictable, however. Nevertheless it was a great lesson. So glad you made it safe.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
Comment from Mary Furlong
This story just has to be the winner. I was enthralled from start to finish. I cared about the narrating character and shared in his feelings. Very, very well done.
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This story just has to be the winner. I was enthralled from start to finish. I cared about the narrating character and shared in his feelings. Very, very well done.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2020
