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Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Be Careful What You Wish For"
Fiction and non-fiction prose

33 total reviews 
Comment from dmt1967
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a great story and I loved it. You had me hooked from the first word to the last word and the picture added to the story. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Thanks very much for the delightful rating, the most welcome comments and the good wishes. Glad you enjoyed. Cheers, Craig
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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Well done with this scary tale Craig, I'm a bit slow on the uptake, it took me a couple of reads to work out why Cedric vanished before I twigged - Lose a day, it's "Goodbye, Son!"
You're really getting into the Halloween theme.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Yep. No 31st of October now, so he was never born :) Thanks very much, Valda. I do like Halloween, it's my favourite holiday. Cheers, Craig
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written flash fiction about the Halloween wish of little Cedric Hoffman who wish not to be there and the Halloween queen seems to grant his wish because he just disappeared.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Yep, that's it in a nutshell, Sandra. Thanks for the kind words, they are appreciated. Craig
Comment from Scarbrems
Excellent
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Very good. It took me a moment. Of course, the boy wouldn't exist if there were no 31st October, since that was his birthday. A chilling tale, well-written and should do well in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Thanks, Emma. Nice to hear from you, hope all is well. Cheers, Craig
reply by Scarbrems on 29-Oct-2019
    I'm still reading things, here. I see the political forum hasn't changed...
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Not a bit lol
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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Yikes! Will you stop scaring me like that! First a poem, and now a story. All memory of Cedric since there's no October 31. Even his mother had no memory of him. Decidedly a warning to be careful making wishes! Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Don't worry, Yvonne. There's only the long fiction and 5-7-5 creepy comps to go... mwahaha! Thanks for the fun review and the good wishes. Craig
reply by damommy on 29-Oct-2019
    Looking forward to them.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Oh! What a wish! Poor Cedric - he should have wished he was born on November 1 instead. Great story-telling and you gave us the typical kind of things an unhappy five-year-old might say!

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Thanks so much, Helen. It only just occurred to me if I'd had him say, "I wish I'd never been born", it probably would have been less confusing. Oh well... thanks for the fine review :)
reply by lyenochka on 29-Oct-2019
    Enjoyed the story, Craig! You should do more prose. Maybe a script?
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Thanks for the kind words, Helen, but I wouldn't have the first idea how to go about doing a script. I have the impression it's quite technical. One of these days, I'm going to try my hand at writing a song or two :)
reply by lyenochka on 29-Oct-2019
    Yes, I hope you do and will share your songs here. I used to write songs especially as a teen. Less time in adulthood.
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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Craig, This is a very well written Halloween Flash Fiction story for the contest and I would say a little spooky too. You did a great job with all the carnival people and the little boy. Best wishes in the contest! Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
    Thanks so much for the lovely comments and the good wishes, Teri. Much appreciated, Craig
Comment from LisaMay
Excellent
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I admire your clever story. You set the scene well with the grumpy unappreciative child. There is no overt danger or fear (to me anyway, I think those sideshow things are lame, too), but there is definitely a sense of foreboding building to the subtle climax. I love that Clara has totally forgotten she has a son. Poof! No more problem child. I wonder if her husband and daughter will notice Cedric's missing. (Terrible name for a kid.)
For the sake of consistency, in one place you have written Madame Zelda, in another madam Zelda. The first one is best.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
    I don't think they'll notice he's missing. Because of his wish, his birthday (10/31) no longer exists, so he was never born :)

    Thanks for the great comments, and the much appreciated catch. I'll see to that now. Most grateful -- Craig.
reply by LisaMay on 28-Oct-2019
    Of course! So I guess all his stuff at home will be gone too.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
    I would think so! :)
Comment from catch22
Excellent
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Hi Craig, this is an excellent piece of flash fiction with good use of word economy and just enough of the details left to the imagination to tell a complete story. I really like the theme of wishes having a double edge. Best to you in the contest.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
    Hi Pam, great to hear from you. Thanks for the good wishes, and the much appreciated comments. Cheers, Craig
reply by catch22 on 28-Oct-2019
    You are very welcome.
Comment from Susan X Smith
Excellent
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This is quite a macabre story, and as such, is an excellent contest entry. There is also a touch of humor about it. The ending was very subtle. You chose a fitting picture to go with it.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
    Thanks for the kind comments. I appreciate "macabre", I take that as quite a complement :) Cheers, Craig