Reviews from

Deception

A husband's will

39 total reviews 
Comment from Mrs. KT
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Mystery Writer!
And they say that the dead tell no tales! Hah! Way to go, husband!
A fine story told in the 80-word parameters.
If I may add one suggestion, it would be at the very ending:

To my cheating wife, Evelyn, I leave the greatest treasure of all: my forgiveness

Best Wishes!
diane

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
    Thank you, Diane, for the awesome and insightful review. Not sure if it's allowed to alter after entry has been submitted. Great suggestion.
    God bless
    Steve
Comment from Debra White
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello :)
I really enjoyed your story.
Evelyn got her just desserts, delivered in the most unexpected yet deserved way! Well written and effective formatting also.
Good luck in the contest. Best wishes, Debra :)

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
    Thank you, Debra, for the supportive and excellent review. I enjoyed crafting this one.
    God bless
    Steve
Comment from Sugarray77
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like how you handled this story. The set up is very good and then comes the division of the will capped by the biggest surprise of all.... forgiveness. Very well written.

Melissa

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Thank you, Melissa. I enjoyed the challenge this prompt offered.
    God bless
    Steve
Comment from moongirlwriter
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

WOW. . .how we are fooled with deception, not. I always told my children when people told wopper type stories. . .people always know who is lying.
Love this piece, she got what she deserved. :)

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Right! Thank you for the awesome review.
    God bless
    Steve
reply by moongirlwriter on 15-Sep-2019
    :)
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Now, THIS is an awesome offering for the contest -- great set-up and great surprise... great writing! ;) :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Thank you for this excellent review, I am happy this little piece is so well received.
    God bless
    Steve
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, he certainly had her number. Great contest entry, Neonewman. I enjoyed reading it. You handled the prompt well. Thanks for sharing and best wises. Respectfully with Admiration. Jan

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Jan, thank you for this awesome review. I am excited that it is so well received.
    God bless
    Steve
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I hope this one does well.

I really liked this piece. I would suggest though, to maybe put the will extracts in a different font/bold/italics just to differentiate it.

G


 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Thank you, G for this awesome review my friend. I took your advice and changed to bold. Thank you as always for your help.
    God bless
    Steve
Comment from CharR
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, great story! Totally unexpected. Conjures up the negative feelings with the cheating and the powerful healing of forgivess. Well done in just 80 words! Good luck with the contest, I'm sure you will do well!

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Wow! I am so happy this one is being so well received. Thank you for the amazing six stars and the time you spent reviewing.
    God bless
    Steve
Comment from Susan Larson
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent! What a feat to express all of that in 80 words! Your ending, the greatest treasure of all, really had impact and brought a chuckle and if I may say so real poetic justice!

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Susan, thank you for this beautiful six-star review, my friend. I am honored that this piece is so well received.
    God bless
    Steve
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-This is a good story, Steve.
-Evelyn does play her part well.
-Effective use of foreshadowing.
-I like how you build suspense
with the reading of the will.
-It is not going well for Evelyn!
-Obviously, she can figure
out the score!
-A good twist on the part
of her late husband!
-Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019

reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Thank you, Pam, for this excellent review my friend. I enjoyed the challenge this little prompt offered.
    God bless
    Steve
reply by Pam (respa) on 15-Sep-2019
    You are very welcome, Steve. It was a good story for the contest.