Lessons in the Key of Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Yo Ho Ho"A music and dance teacher's improvization
39 total reviews
Comment from diamondbogle
I really liked this. It flowed well and I didnt see any mistakes. I like how I got a clear image in my head of what I believed was happening. Overall very well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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I really liked this. It flowed well and I didnt see any mistakes. I like how I got a clear image in my head of what I believed was happening. Overall very well done.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Thanks!
Comment from Artasylum
Truer words... there is everything to the adage that "someday we will laugh about this" you made an awkward situation into a sitcom... good job. yours, Diana
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Truer words... there is everything to the adage that "someday we will laugh about this" you made an awkward situation into a sitcom... good job. yours, Diana
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Yes, it sure is a lot funnier now, Diana!
Thanks for the terrific review. xo
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Jackie O! LOL! He didn't understand and thought she liked to dress as characters every day. What fun! And this really happened. LOL! Did the student ever come, maybe while you were test driving the car?
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Jackie O! LOL! He didn't understand and thought she liked to dress as characters every day. What fun! And this really happened. LOL! Did the student ever come, maybe while you were test driving the car?
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Yes! That's exactly what happened. They left the cookies on the back deck, and when I got home, I called the mom and told her the story. She laughed SO hard. And then, I called her the NEXT day with Part II, and she laughed just as hard.
Thanks for the fun review, Phyllis. xo
Comment from Colin John
Hi Rachelle missed this nice chapter, i think three must have come along instead of two. lol. Nice story and keep up the brilliant writing. Kind regards Colin X
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Hi Rachelle missed this nice chapter, i think three must have come along instead of two. lol. Nice story and keep up the brilliant writing. Kind regards Colin X
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Oh, you sweet-talkin' reviewer. xo
Comment from Heather Knight
You crack me up! The other day Debra and I were talking about Fanstorians we'd like to meet and you were one of them.
This is a wonderful story.
I also had laser surgery, but never had to wear a patch, just the sunglasses for one day...
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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You crack me up! The other day Debra and I were talking about Fanstorians we'd like to meet and you were one of them.
This is a wonderful story.
I also had laser surgery, but never had to wear a patch, just the sunglasses for one day...
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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I was born with cataracts, and new technology was developed awhile ago so I could have a lens implant surgery. So that's what the surgery was.
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Mine was different. I was short-sighted.
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Well, you missed out on being a pirate, Maria. xo
Comment from doggymad1
This was hilarious. It could only happen to you. I can just see the look on the salesman's face when he saw you coming.
It is wonderful to look back and laugh at these incidents in a different light a few years on
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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This was hilarious. It could only happen to you. I can just see the look on the salesman's face when he saw you coming.
It is wonderful to look back and laugh at these incidents in a different light a few years on
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Yes, way funnier with a few years' in the rearview mirror; that's for sure!!
Thanks for the fun review. xo
Comment from Michele Harber
As expected, this story is funny and clever and well told but, unexpectedly, I did find two major issues with it that I believe you should address.
First, there is a noticeable gap in temporal credulity. You put on the bandanna, the earring and the penguin (I think I've just added a new phrase to the lexicon: "putting on the penguin") in anticipation of the visit by your student and her mom. Apparently this visit was anticipated soon enough that, the moment you heard a car drive up, you were sure it was them. How, then, did you have the time to go for a test drive, spend enough time on it to decide you wanted the car, discuss it with your husband, make a final decision to purchase, and arrange an appointment to sign the papers, all before the student and her mom showed up? Did you miss them? Did you come home to a note on your door saying, "Sorry we missed you, Shelley; the cookies were delicious?"
The second issue is that you started one story, that of donning pirate regalia to avoid scaring an eight-year-old, and never finished the story. Was the girl scared, or did she and her mother get a kick out of what you did, and play right along? All you'd really need is a sentence or two indicating that the girl and her mom dropped off the pirate's booty, in the form of delicious, golden butter cookies, you offered them a cup of grog, and they sailed off into the sunset. However you choose to wrap it up, the point is that you can't leave the story open-ended. It's that's first story that brought the readers in, and they deserve to have a conclusion.
Otherwise, as I said, it was a fun story, filled with your usual wry humor. "A speechless car salesman? This was epic," definitely brought the biggest smile.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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As expected, this story is funny and clever and well told but, unexpectedly, I did find two major issues with it that I believe you should address.
First, there is a noticeable gap in temporal credulity. You put on the bandanna, the earring and the penguin (I think I've just added a new phrase to the lexicon: "putting on the penguin") in anticipation of the visit by your student and her mom. Apparently this visit was anticipated soon enough that, the moment you heard a car drive up, you were sure it was them. How, then, did you have the time to go for a test drive, spend enough time on it to decide you wanted the car, discuss it with your husband, make a final decision to purchase, and arrange an appointment to sign the papers, all before the student and her mom showed up? Did you miss them? Did you come home to a note on your door saying, "Sorry we missed you, Shelley; the cookies were delicious?"
The second issue is that you started one story, that of donning pirate regalia to avoid scaring an eight-year-old, and never finished the story. Was the girl scared, or did she and her mother get a kick out of what you did, and play right along? All you'd really need is a sentence or two indicating that the girl and her mom dropped off the pirate's booty, in the form of delicious, golden butter cookies, you offered them a cup of grog, and they sailed off into the sunset. However you choose to wrap it up, the point is that you can't leave the story open-ended. It's that's first story that brought the readers in, and they deserve to have a conclusion.
Otherwise, as I said, it was a fun story, filled with your usual wry humor. "A speechless car salesman? This was epic," definitely brought the biggest smile.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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I totally missed them! They left the cookies on the back deck, and I called them when I returned home. They laughed SO hard. Then, when I had to call them the next day with Part II, they laughed eve harder!
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Please know that I mean this in only the warmest way: you twit!!! That sounds like something I would do. One of us needs to have common sense and, as it often isn't me, I was counting on it to be you.
All that aside, though, you still should mention something in your story. The fact that you did all that preparation for an eight-year-old, and the only ones who got to see it were your husband and a car salesman would add a nice concluding twist.
Comment from Rikki66
Making the best of a bad situation is the only way to go. When caught with your pants down go with the flow cause you can't run. Good job of improvisation hope the salesman was joking,
Rikki:)xo
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Making the best of a bad situation is the only way to go. When caught with your pants down go with the flow cause you can't run. Good job of improvisation hope the salesman was joking,
Rikki:)xo
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Nope. I really feel as if he thought I dressed up in costumes every day. He seemed proud of himself for having 'figured that out.' Oy.
Thanks for the fun review, Rikki. xo
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I hope you went along with his assumption Darling you are just too much. LOL
Rikki:)xo
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I did. It was just too much 'splainin' otherwise...and who's to say he'd have believed me anyway? Sometimes less conversation is more than enough! xo
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True'
Rikki:)xo
Comment from judiverse
This is wonderful. I loved the story, especially the details about the pirate attire to go with the eye patch. I am wondering what the reaction of the family who came to bring you cookies was when they saw you. (If they ever got to.) This sounds like a TV sit come. That gave the car dealership something to talk about, anyway. What a delight that the sales manager called you Jackie O! What a joy to read this morning. judi
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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This is wonderful. I loved the story, especially the details about the pirate attire to go with the eye patch. I am wondering what the reaction of the family who came to bring you cookies was when they saw you. (If they ever got to.) This sounds like a TV sit come. That gave the car dealership something to talk about, anyway. What a delight that the sales manager called you Jackie O! What a joy to read this morning. judi
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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The family with the cookies actually just left them on our back deck because I was out on my pirate test drive. They got QUITE the kick out of the story after I came home and saw the treats they'd left! xo
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They'd have loved seeing you. judi
Comment from juliaSjames
Rachelle, all your stories are humourous and vastly entertaining because of who you are and the spin you put on your writes.
This one is a cracker.
Staying in character as a pirate with a stuffed penguin is hilarious. But it's the punchline that made me laugh out loud.
Exceptional.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Rachelle, all your stories are humourous and vastly entertaining because of who you are and the spin you put on your writes.
This one is a cracker.
Staying in character as a pirate with a stuffed penguin is hilarious. But it's the punchline that made me laugh out loud.
Exceptional.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
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Jackie O. appreciates your comment very much!! haha.