St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "St. Louis Chapter 1 part 3"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
28 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
Great chapter, the storyline is good and the characters are strong with appropriate dialogue. It is definitely a read that wants you to find out what happens next. Have a blessed Sunday. Shirley
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Great chapter, the storyline is good and the characters are strong with appropriate dialogue. It is definitely a read that wants you to find out what happens next. Have a blessed Sunday. Shirley
Comment Written 24-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Barbara,
This was another chapter that shows us Logan's kindness. Unfortunately, the holding back of the hair while vomiting is a benchmark for me. I didn't get sick a lot, but the guys who held my hair when I did got brownie points.
I hope she will listen to him and go and get blood work done. It will be nice to know what was used to drug her.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Hi, Barbara,
This was another chapter that shows us Logan's kindness. Unfortunately, the holding back of the hair while vomiting is a benchmark for me. I didn't get sick a lot, but the guys who held my hair when I did got brownie points.
I hope she will listen to him and go and get blood work done. It will be nice to know what was used to drug her.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 24-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Chris Davies
Glad to see Logan has fully recovered from being a jerk :-). You've got a lot of questions going on that will need to be answered - should keep your readers glued. I'm enjoying your story! - Chris
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Glad to see Logan has fully recovered from being a jerk :-). You've got a lot of questions going on that will need to be answered - should keep your readers glued. I'm enjoying your story! - Chris
Comment Written 24-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Thank you. Logan isn't really a jerk, but it does come out at times. McKenzie will keep him honest.
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I get that now, although I wasn't quite certain after the first chapter. It's a fun read.
Comment from light
Great writing as usual,Barbara. Mac doesn't really trust Logan, and you can't blame her. She doesn't know him very well. This is getting very interesting.
Elaine
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Great writing as usual,Barbara. Mac doesn't really trust Logan, and you can't blame her. She doesn't know him very well. This is getting very interesting.
Elaine
Comment Written 24-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review. Glad you're back.
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Thank you.
Elaine
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara. This is a great continuation to the story which is really taking off now. I can't wait to see what happens next. I found a couple of things:
After he spoke with is buddy, = After he spoke with his buddy
"I didn't know lab techs made house, no hotel calls." = I think you mean: "I didn't know lab techs made house calls to hotels."
He set her on the bed. = There's nothing wrong with this but it reads a bit awkward. What about 'He sat her on the bed' or 'he lead her back to the bed'
All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Hi Barbara. This is a great continuation to the story which is really taking off now. I can't wait to see what happens next. I found a couple of things:
After he spoke with is buddy, = After he spoke with his buddy
"I didn't know lab techs made house, no hotel calls." = I think you mean: "I didn't know lab techs made house calls to hotels."
He set her on the bed. = There's nothing wrong with this but it reads a bit awkward. What about 'He sat her on the bed' or 'he lead her back to the bed'
All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 24-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the help. I made the corrections. I read what I want it to say, instead of what it actually says. LOL
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I know what you mean. I do the same. So far it's a great story. I like it.:)))
Comment from royowen
Well done, this is exciting Barbara, so Mack has presumably been drugged and Logan has carried her into a hotel roon and waited for her to regain consciousness, and calls for his friend, who owes him a favour, to call, to find out what drug she's been given. Well done Barabra, great episode, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Well done, this is exciting Barbara, so Mack has presumably been drugged and Logan has carried her into a hotel roon and waited for her to regain consciousness, and calls for his friend, who owes him a favour, to call, to find out what drug she's been given. Well done Barabra, great episode, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 24-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome
Comment from seaglass
Great description of the scene and tension. The plot is building as it suggests someone is already onto them and attempting to interfere. No errors to be corrected, nice off to a fine start
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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Great description of the scene and tension. The plot is building as it suggests someone is already onto them and attempting to interfere. No errors to be corrected, nice off to a fine start
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Miss Sherry
This is a good length, I think. I like to be able to absorb every nuance. You keep the suspense going. Your characters are believable and the convo is convincing. I like your imagery too, and the line about he would have dropped her on the floor. Will be waiting for the next chapter!!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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This is a good length, I think. I like to be able to absorb every nuance. You keep the suspense going. Your characters are believable and the convo is convincing. I like your imagery too, and the line about he would have dropped her on the floor. Will be waiting for the next chapter!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are very welcome!!
