haiku (sudden frost blankets)
Contest Entry33 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku about the sudden frost that forms blankets of white as far as we can see. A beautiful scene we enjoy but the coldness quickly creeps in and we find real blankets to cover our skin.
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A very well-written haiku about the sudden frost that forms blankets of white as far as we can see. A beautiful scene we enjoy but the coldness quickly creeps in and we find real blankets to cover our skin.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is very nice. The photo, of the frost blanketing the meadow, goes well with the Haiku. I like the image the poem sets forth. My favorite line is the last one. "crickets' chorus stilled," When I hear the word 'stilled', I think of 'chilled', which must be how the crickets feel with the sudden frost. A chilling effect comes across with this. I can just imagine a "meadow lush with goldenrod." Well done. Thanks for sharing.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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This is very nice. The photo, of the frost blanketing the meadow, goes well with the Haiku. I like the image the poem sets forth. My favorite line is the last one. "crickets' chorus stilled," When I hear the word 'stilled', I think of 'chilled', which must be how the crickets feel with the sudden frost. A chilling effect comes across with this. I can just imagine a "meadow lush with goldenrod." Well done. Thanks for sharing.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hello Jesse!
The gales of November are ramping up this afternoon here in northern Michigan = no crickets are chirping!
I keep plugging away at creating haikus. One of these days, I might hit the mark!
The meadow below our home is filled with goldenrod. I love it, but then, I don't suffer from allergies.
So pleased you enjoyed!
Thank you for your excellent rating and thoughtful review!
diane
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Hi Diane
Gales of November!? Where I live, it is a mild autumn day, with temps in the mid-60's. I'm still wearing shorts this time of year. I love it! I've never been to northern Michigan. I live in northern California by the ocean, so the weather stays mild, almost all year round. You're welcome. I think Haikus are very hard to do. They have a lot of structure, and not many words to use, to make it happen. You did a valiant try, and I'm sure you'll hit the mark, soon.
Jesse
Comment from Ulla
Hi Diane. A wonderful haiku that makes the transition to winter come so very alive. Yeah, I dare say that the crikets would be all but silenced with the first arrival of frost. I loved your haiku. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hi Diane. A wonderful haiku that makes the transition to winter come so very alive. Yeah, I dare say that the crikets would be all but silenced with the first arrival of frost. I loved your haiku. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hello Ulla,
So very pleased you enjoyed.
The gales of November are blowing today! All crickets duly silenced!
Thank you for your excellent rating and complimentary review!
diane
Comment from Sugarray77
Diane, this is lovely. You have perfectly executed the haiku form with depth and feeling. So much said in so few words. I hope you do well in the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Diane, this is lovely. You have perfectly executed the haiku form with depth and feeling. So much said in so few words. I hope you do well in the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hello Friend,
So pleased you enjoyed!
I just keep persevering on...one of these days I might get these haikus correct!
Thank you for your excellent rating and complimentary review!
diane
Comment from papa55mike
I miss my summer sounds with the crickets chirping, tree frogs songs, cicadas singing. I guess I'll have to wait until next summer. This very well-written and I love the picture.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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I miss my summer sounds with the crickets chirping, tree frogs songs, cicadas singing. I guess I'll have to wait until next summer. This very well-written and I love the picture.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hell mike!
I believe this is the first time you have stopped by!
I'm glad you have!
Thank you for your excellent rating and complimentary review!
So pleased you enjoyed!
diane
Comment from rama devi
This captures a scene, a tone and flavor...so well! Great haiku form. Great word economy. Great presentaiton. Great imagery and strong satori line. BUt my favorite part of this well crafted work is, of course, the sonic phonics! Love the medley of S, L and U sounds as well as D and C-K accents. Sounds super read aloud!
Bravo. I rarely award a six for haiku! You did it!
Good luck.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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This captures a scene, a tone and flavor...so well! Great haiku form. Great word economy. Great presentaiton. Great imagery and strong satori line. BUt my favorite part of this well crafted work is, of course, the sonic phonics! Love the medley of S, L and U sounds as well as D and C-K accents. Sounds super read aloud!
Bravo. I rarely award a six for haiku! You did it!
Good luck.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Dear rd,
As maudlin as this may sound, your review and appreciation of my haiku brought tears to my eyes.
I have struggled so with the haiku format. I have researched its intricacies, and then I have gone back and researched more...always hoping to find what I lacked or missed in my attempt to create a lasting image and a state of awareness for the reader all the while maintaining word economy, seasonal reference, phonetical expression, and a strong satori line...
The gales of November are blowing today, but I am warmed by your exceptional rating and thoughtful, complimentary review...
So appreciated,
diane
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Yay! Your research and efforts have paid off, culminating in a six-worthy haiku. Kudos, dear. Love your response.
Hugs, rd
Comment from Mastery
Good Morning, Neighbor! This is another wonderful offering from your talented pen, Diane. I love your clever satori. Good luck in the Haiku contest. I think you have another winner though. Bless you, Bob
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Good Morning, Neighbor! This is another wonderful offering from your talented pen, Diane. I love your clever satori. Good luck in the Haiku contest. I think you have another winner though. Bless you, Bob
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hello Neighbor!
I am afraid that my "talented pen" is running out of ink these days!
We live high up on a bluff in Traverse City with a beautiful meadow filled with goldenrod below us. Yesterday = covered with a blanket of frost...and no crickets chirping. Gale force winds are forecast for later this afternoon, and I just received notification that it is going to snow this morning! November is upon us...
Thank you for your exceptional rating and complimentary review.
So very pleased my words resonated with you!
Stay warm!
diane
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And now comes the season I dislike. Winter. so much to worry about from accidental slip and falls to bad driving conditions, I hate it. Sorry. (: Bob
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Diane, this is a well written Haiku, true to form. Lines one and two interconnect as they should in this form and your line three is a perfect satori. Nicely worded and your picture certainly looks like frosted goldenrod which makes your work an Ekphrastic haiku. Good work, as always - good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hello Diane, this is a well written Haiku, true to form. Lines one and two interconnect as they should in this form and your line three is a perfect satori. Nicely worded and your picture certainly looks like frosted goldenrod which makes your work an Ekphrastic haiku. Good work, as always - good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hello Dorothy,
Thank you for your excellent rating and thoughtful review!
The artwork looks like the meadow below our home, which is high on a bluff...
So pleased my words resonated with you.
Frost this morning; gale force winds this afternoon. The gales of November are upon us!
Be well!
diane
Comment from Debbie Pope
For some reason, I am determined to master the haiku. It's limited, but profound nature, is something that I should be able to master. I enjoy playing with words so much but lack the imagination for extended pieces.
Having said that, I pay particular attention to haiku entries. Yours seems exceptional to me. I like your double use of the word "blankets" as both a noun and a verb. What I see is a blanket of frost. But, the second line is fulfilled by using blankets as an introductory verb. That's good crafting to me.
As to the third line, everything that I read says avoid alliteration, but I like your words so well. My conclusion about alliteration is just don't use it as a crutch to give depth to your writing. You do not do that at all."Crickets chorus" is essential to the meaning of your all important third line. I would not change a word.
I do have one question for you. I see no descriptive line. Is that how you are supposed to do a haiku? I just learned last week to put the first line in parentheses after the word Haiku. So, I really am learning. I think that I included a descriptive line though . . . which I struggled over. Nice to know that I probably don't need one next time.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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For some reason, I am determined to master the haiku. It's limited, but profound nature, is something that I should be able to master. I enjoy playing with words so much but lack the imagination for extended pieces.
Having said that, I pay particular attention to haiku entries. Yours seems exceptional to me. I like your double use of the word "blankets" as both a noun and a verb. What I see is a blanket of frost. But, the second line is fulfilled by using blankets as an introductory verb. That's good crafting to me.
As to the third line, everything that I read says avoid alliteration, but I like your words so well. My conclusion about alliteration is just don't use it as a crutch to give depth to your writing. You do not do that at all."Crickets chorus" is essential to the meaning of your all important third line. I would not change a word.
I do have one question for you. I see no descriptive line. Is that how you are supposed to do a haiku? I just learned last week to put the first line in parentheses after the word Haiku. So, I really am learning. I think that I included a descriptive line though . . . which I struggled over. Nice to know that I probably don't need one next time.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Good Morning, Debbie!
I wish I had six stars to give you for this review: It is honest, thorough, heartfelt, and is written as a conversation!
First of all, I am by no means an expert on haiku. Just when I think I might "have it," I am informed otherwise. That said, I love the quote by Basho, one of the most notable and quoted Haiku poets: "Learn the rules, and then forget them!"
Alliteration: Everything I have read says to employ alliteration - albeit sparingly.
Descriptive line: Do you mean a seasonal line? My first line, "sudden frost blankets" = indicates late autumn as does the reference to goldenrod, which only blooms in late summer.
I have bookmarked a wonderful discussion of haiku - and all of its many facets - far too many for anyone to be able to follow -and I would love to share it with you. "Haiku Rules Have Come and Gone" at https://www.ahapoetry.com. The author lists sixty-five rules to follow and/or avoid. Rather daunting.
If you get a chance to read the article, I would love it if you would share your reactions/thoughts with me.
I am honored by your exceptional rating and review.
How very glad I am our paths have crossed!
Be well,
diane
Comment from Heather Knight
Being a city girl, I didn't know the meaning of goldenrod. I love learning new words!
This poem is cute. My favourite sentence is the last.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Being a city girl, I didn't know the meaning of goldenrod. I love learning new words!
This poem is cute. My favourite sentence is the last.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Hello Maria!
I have missed you!
Goldenrod blooms profusely here in northern Michigan.
Some folks are quite allergic to it, but I love it. Looks beautiful in fall arrangements.
But its blooming heralds autumn, and impending winter...
Thank you for your excellent rating and complimentary review!
diane
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They look quite similar to dandelions at least in pictures... I have never seen them in real life.
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Hello Maria,
Goldenrod - or Solidago - are very tall, feathery plants that grow in gatherings. Two-three feet tall here in northern Michigan. When frost glances them, they look like glistening icicles. Beautiful photos on the internet.
Our dandelions are short and squatty! But they are pervasive as well!
Take Care!
diane
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They are short over here too. Thanks for the info. Big hug.