Metaphorical Seas
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Late Autumn Afternoon"a series of blank impressions
25 total reviews
Comment from Phillip C Kuhn
Even though you asked I couldn't give suggestions because I thought it was written perfectly, the use of punctuation was on point, I'm somewhat of a minimalist when it comes to that, thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Even though you asked I couldn't give suggestions because I thought it was written perfectly, the use of punctuation was on point, I'm somewhat of a minimalist when it comes to that, thanks for sharing
Comment Written 12-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Hello Phillip
It is always a pleasure to meet another double-L phillip: I am glad to see your parents knew how to spell.
I am also very grateful to you for the positive review.
And I wish you well with your own writing
cheers
phill
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, a superb write as it is - I would not have the audacity to offer suggestions for this remarkable write. It is masterful in its illustrative verse and requires no imagery to add to its perfection. Would that my own writing could reach this articulate and exquisite brilliance. I feel I am in the presence of greatness here...
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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In my opinion, a superb write as it is - I would not have the audacity to offer suggestions for this remarkable write. It is masterful in its illustrative verse and requires no imagery to add to its perfection. Would that my own writing could reach this articulate and exquisite brilliance. I feel I am in the presence of greatness here...
Comment Written 12-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Hello Evesayshi
I have spent several hours wondering how to reply to you. But I can only assure you that whatever you see as 'craft' is merely 'graft'. I wish it were otherwise.
I am humbled by your kindness: and this is no more than what I would have said to you if I had responded earlier. Dwelling on it has only deepened my appreciation for your words.
I wish you well with your own writing and in the things that matter to you.
cheers
phill
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You are welcome, Phill, but I sure you no kindness was demonstrated here, only how I honestly perceived this splendid write. I wish you my highest compliment for your unique gift...Eve
Comment from royowen
The best person to ask about punctuation is Rama Devi. She's the go to top reviewer on fanstory. Meanwhile, you've employed some great rhyming devices in this work. Some great usage of poetic devices, exquisite alliteration, enjambment, etc. great work, rolls of the tongue beautifully, well done, blessings, Roy
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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The best person to ask about punctuation is Rama Devi. She's the go to top reviewer on fanstory. Meanwhile, you've employed some great rhyming devices in this work. Some great usage of poetic devices, exquisite alliteration, enjambment, etc. great work, rolls of the tongue beautifully, well done, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
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Hello Roy
Thanks for the tip.
Your words are encouraging and I am very grateful for them, and your time to review the piece.
As always, I wish you well with your own writing
cheers
phill
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My pleasure PHIL.
Comment from Kathy Franklin
I think this piece is perfectly punctuated. The imagery is so vivid; it beckons a clear picture in my mind of a gorgeous fall day. I can almost smell the sweet decay that brings new life after winter works her wonders.
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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
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I think this piece is perfectly punctuated. The imagery is so vivid; it beckons a clear picture in my mind of a gorgeous fall day. I can almost smell the sweet decay that brings new life after winter works her wonders.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
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Hello Kathy
Thank you for the review and the time to read this piece - I appreciate both.
I wish you well with your own writing.
cheers
phill
Comment from Shanbreen
Phill, this poem is written so much in the style of my "Coming Home." I absolutely love it. Punctuation wise, I would do away with the comma here:
mottle-flecked decay,
Place the comma before the 'and'.
he world exhales; the stilted sunlight sets
and, coddled, seeds content themselves to dream
Finally,
Contrived in close conspiracies of shade
a lace of frost succeeds the dying light
and, pinned with stars, the night consumes the road.
Comma after 'shade', a semi-colon after 'ight' and remove the comma after 'AND'.
These are my observations. I'm no expert but it would make it easier for me -- to apprecaite the flow of a very well written poem.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
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Phill, this poem is written so much in the style of my "Coming Home." I absolutely love it. Punctuation wise, I would do away with the comma here:
mottle-flecked decay,
Place the comma before the 'and'.
he world exhales; the stilted sunlight sets
and, coddled, seeds content themselves to dream
Finally,
Contrived in close conspiracies of shade
a lace of frost succeeds the dying light
and, pinned with stars, the night consumes the road.
Comma after 'shade', a semi-colon after 'ight' and remove the comma after 'AND'.
These are my observations. I'm no expert but it would make it easier for me -- to apprecaite the flow of a very well written poem.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
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Hello Shanbreen
Thank you for the encouraging review.
You have been most helpful with the punctuation.
I appreciate your time and efforts & I wish you well with your own writing.
cheers
phill