Comment from barbara.wilkey

Exceptional

I'm still loving this story. I am wondering if Meg will stay and help Rosie with Francis. You may have mentioned it and I forgot.

Rosie, sensing the need to stay calm, sat down on the floor and started playing with the toys. (You don't need down, it's an extra word)

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018

Bless you, my friend! Thank you so much for the 6 stars. I've removed the 'down' and will try to remember that in future. It's funny, but I hear most people say, 'please sit down,' but when we tell our pet dogs, it's just 'SIT!' and they do! I'll try that with my visitors, lol. It is right, though. Thank you my friend, I really appreciate the help and the 6. Big hugs. Sandra xxx

Comment from apky

Excellent

I'd expected some reaction from Rosie when she sees Francis' eyes, perhaps a flattering remark or some body language to "brand" that first sight of his eyes.

I'm also hoping Mildred is okay. We wouldn't want anything happening to our Mildred, now, would we.

Excellent and touching chapter. My suggestions are below.

watched over by Meg as she sat knitting close-by(close by, two words).

Her deepening frown give(gave- sisnce it's all in the past tense, it's best to keep to that) me the impression that

Frances(Francis-unles he has suddenly changed his gender!) began screaming the moment he saw him

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018

Thank you so much for picking up those errors, Aki, I could go over them a hundred times and still miss something! I've made all the corrections, thanks for that, my friend. We are waiting to hear what James finds out now. He being the doctor. Nerve racking times for Veronica. Thanks, my friend. :) Sandra xx

reply by apky on 15-Apr-2018

I know how that is - I go over mine dozens of times and still something escapes me because I'm reading it with my mind instead of my eyes, LOL!

Comment from Rasmine

Excellent

Hello, Sandra, :)

Do you know what? I'm crying. This is so beautifully written. I am so happy I fanned you. Now I'm worried about Mildred. I hope she is okay. OMG, this is only a story and look at me carrying on about a character. To me, that is a sign of a very good author, to have people cry and worry about a character. Keep on writing!

Nome

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018

LOL, thank you, Nome, that is such a lovely review. I don't know what's wrong with Mildred, I'm hoping James will find out! :)) Thank you, my friend. Big hugs Sandra xxx

Comment from JDRBAR

Excellent

Wait! Didn't Gwen die giving birth to Francis????? Gwen couldn't have given Meg any money for toys. Or am I missing something here? Meg has to be attached to Francis so maybe she provided playthings for him.

"He's a good boy, and never plays me up." Meg continued, her attention now fixed entirely on Rosie. Her deepening frown give me the impression that her thoughts weren't very benevolent, and her concern regarding these two strangers arriving was obvious.
(Not sure what "plays me up" means. However, it strikes me odd that these would be her first words upon having the room invaded by strangers.)

Joe nodded, but Meg still looked agitated. The fact that she didn't have a clue as to what was happening must have been causing her so much unnecessary distress.

Just some thoughts I had while reading. It would seem more realistic to me if Meg jumped up demanding to know who Rosie and Joe were, immediately scooping the boy up in protection, then becoming submissive upon seeing Sir John. "Sir John! Is something wrong?" Meg should look terrified that something was about to happen with Francis or Sir John wouldn't be there. Sir John should be the one to offer an explanation to Meg. And he definitely shouldn't leave the room, but perhaps step back into a shadow or something. He's as frightened of the boy as the boy is of him.
I think Rosie should speak to Meg before sitting on the floor to play. And, upon seeing the boy's eyes, there should be some reaction, though not verbal.

Just some thoughts.
Can't wait till next chapter

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018

Gwendolyn is a ghost, and died recently, only a few weeks ago when Francis was 17 months old and always gave Meg money for Francis' toys. Meg is worried because she knows Sir John is going to either kill the lad or at the very least get rid of him. She is a servant and knows her place and wouldn't dream of addressing Sir John unless he spoke to her first. She cannot say or do anything to stop what's happening. Rosie did ask Meg if she could play with Francis, but Meg didn't answer. Sir John wouldn't stay in the room, never has, and the only times he has seen the boy was a few times when Gwendolyn was alive, and on her death bed. Meg remained after her death because she was worried as to what would happen to her son.
Because of his blazing red eyes, and pale complexion and white hair, he believes the child is the son of the Devil and is scared stiff of him. He doesn't care in the slightest if the child is scared of him and wants him out the way. That's why he's locked away in the attic. Rosie's reaction is due to her having been forewarned about his eyes, by Joe, who had already seen him. He also told her that it was an illness inherited from the parents, which is true of albinos, and that it was highly likely they will change as he gets older to either ice blue or brown. I think you must have missed a lot of this story, but I've a link in my authors notes to a synopsis of previous parts. I hope this has answered most of your questions, my friend. Thank you for taking the time to read and give me your thoughts on it. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx


Play's me up... Is an English expression meaning 'to be naughty'

reply by JDRBAR on 15-Apr-2018

I didn't realize Francis was so old when Gwen died. That does make a difference for most of it.

Comment from Harry Smith

Excellent

And we meet attain. I love your picture selection which complimented your work. The reader really enjoyed reading your work that is full of lots of imagery. I will be back for more.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018

Hello, Harry, lovely to see you here again. Thank you for reading this part of my story. I'm delighted you are enjoying it. Big hugs! Sandra xx

Comment from Alexander Vasa

Excellent

Hello, this reminds me of the movie 'the Time Travelers Wife' or something like that, he kept going to another time and back again. The conversation moved it quickly and toing and froing was good as they realized they'd gone about it the wrong way. I also liked the ending, it just sprang out at you, and you wonder what will happen next. I enjoyed this next chapter and it was written very well.

Noticed no errors, and thank you for the story, Ana.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018

Thank you so much, Ana, I really appreciate this lovely review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This is such a lovely, warm story Sandra, and it seems to be going in the right direction, at least for me. This heartfelt declares your warmth possessing it, and your characters are the same, perhaps some of the mysterious background characters that are plotting the time travel of Veronica may be be worth some backup for the story. A wonderful episode dear Sandra, well done, blessings, Roy p

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 Comment Written 15-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018

Thank you so very much, Roy, for your lovely review. I'm glad you like my characters. The mysterious 'powers that be' will be back soon, my friend. :)) It's all coming to a head, and Veronica will be very surprised. :) Nuff Said! lol. Big hugs, my friend. :Sandra xxx

reply by royowen on 15-Apr-2018

Welckme dear friend

Comment from antonieta

Excellent

I love time travel stories and I enjoyed reading this chapter. The dialogues are excellent and reflect the dialect as it was. Thanks for sharing.
Antonieta

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018

Thank you so much, Antonieta, for reading and reviewing this part. I really appreciate your input! Big hugs, Sandra xx