Marsh Marigold Magic
Multiple Tetractys: With Love and Remembrance26 total reviews
Comment from jenintorre
This is a beautiful poem, so very poignant. The artwork is so well chosen and I love the
Whole presentation. I enjoyed it very much. Best wishes Jen.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
  |
This is a beautiful poem, so very poignant. The artwork is so well chosen and I love the
Whole presentation. I enjoyed it very much. Best wishes Jen.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Hello Jen,
I thank you ever so much for your thoughtful and complimentary review. Tetractys poetry is challenging to pen, but so satisfying as well!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Your poem's layout is superb and your words a joy to read, a great tribute to your Mother who was much loved. Such memories you hold dear, a wonderful poem Diane, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
|
Your poem's layout is superb and your words a joy to read, a great tribute to your Mother who was much loved. Such memories you hold dear, a wonderful poem Diane, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Hello Christine,
I hoped you would get a chance to read this verse. Thank you for your thoughtful and complimentary review. Are there marsh marigolds in England? Just as an aside...I love to write tetractys poetry. For some reason I find it really challenging and satisfying to attempt to compose a poem using a strict syllabic structure. Now sonnets are a different breed... :)
Thank you again!
diane
Comment from robina1978
A lovely photo of marsh marigold. Your mother died at a fair old age. But she had incapacitating illnesses: Parkinson's, osteoarthritis and dementia. She escaped them with dreams about these flowers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
|
A lovely photo of marsh marigold. Your mother died at a fair old age. But she had incapacitating illnesses: Parkinson's, osteoarthritis and dementia. She escaped them with dreams about these flowers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Hello robina!
So pleased that you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful review!
diane
Comment from F Scott Hafner
well done! The line, I feel her presence and I am renewed, is too direct for me given the etherial feel of the rest of the poem. Maybe reduce or eliminate the use of the word, I. That would give the poem more freely to others. your explanation gives the poem all the I it needs. Again well done!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
 |
well done! The line, I feel her presence and I am renewed, is too direct for me given the etherial feel of the rest of the poem. Maybe reduce or eliminate the use of the word, I. That would give the poem more freely to others. your explanation gives the poem all the I it needs. Again well done!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Hello Frank!
I am honored and humbled by your exceptional rating and complimentary review.
I appreciate your suggestion. Must go with 4 syllables, so "life's renewal" just might do it! Yes!
Thank you for pointing that out to me!
Have a wonderful day!
diane
-
Nope!
I changed it to "renewing grace!"
Thank you again!
diane
-
and thank you for that story - one very few can tell
-
Frank,
You are welcome. Thank you for pointing out my use of "I's." I am far happier with that line as well!
diane
Comment from Marge Setzer
This is a beautiful testament to your mother. You have captured her in the images that best represented her healthy self. Thank you for including the paragraph about her years as a florist. It added the information that made her love of marigolds more impressive. I have a question about format. In your first stanza you changed midway from past to present tense. For me it broke the rhythm of your piece. The content is there, but the change in tense was a distraction. However, despite that (maybe picky) criticism, the love you felt for your mother and the impact of the sweet memories you have for her overrides any changes in tense. Thank you for sharing this intimate memory. Marge
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
|
This is a beautiful testament to your mother. You have captured her in the images that best represented her healthy self. Thank you for including the paragraph about her years as a florist. It added the information that made her love of marigolds more impressive. I have a question about format. In your first stanza you changed midway from past to present tense. For me it broke the rhythm of your piece. The content is there, but the change in tense was a distraction. However, despite that (maybe picky) criticism, the love you felt for your mother and the impact of the sweet memories you have for her overrides any changes in tense. Thank you for sharing this intimate memory. Marge
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Hello Marge!
Oh! I knew the change in tense might result in a comment. My thinking is that she is dreaming that she is running; thus for my mother, the dream sequence is in present tense...When she would tell me of her dreams, they were always in present tense. Does that make sense? Perhaps, I should make a note of that below the poem.
Thank you ever so much for your review and comments. So appreciated!
diane
-
Thanks for your explanation. I didn't realize that you had switched from an observation to a dialogue approach. Marge
-
Marge!
I am glad you pointed it out. I have written a little note at the bottom. I was concentrating so much on the form and counting syllables, I just knew the tense change might be a problem.
All is good!
Have a wonderful day!
diane
Comment from Joy Graham
You got me with this poem and message. Old age, illness, and death seem to dance around me lately. Lost a bunch of good people in the last while. Tomorrow I'll attend another funeral.
I love the shape of your words on the page. That is a work of art. I always mess up my lines so know how tricky it is to get nice shapes with poetry.
My mom is 90 and I'm going home to stay with her for two weeks in April. She has a few surgeries lined up and I'm worried about her. So I'll go home for some mom time with her.
Your mom sounds lovely. Your mom being a master florist would have been fascinating. My mom made the best pies around. I never took up baking pies. I should have. Too late now. I have lovely memories of her blueberry pie, which was my favorite.
I enjoyed your poem about your mom today.
Sincerely Joy xx
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
|
You got me with this poem and message. Old age, illness, and death seem to dance around me lately. Lost a bunch of good people in the last while. Tomorrow I'll attend another funeral.
I love the shape of your words on the page. That is a work of art. I always mess up my lines so know how tricky it is to get nice shapes with poetry.
My mom is 90 and I'm going home to stay with her for two weeks in April. She has a few surgeries lined up and I'm worried about her. So I'll go home for some mom time with her.
Your mom sounds lovely. Your mom being a master florist would have been fascinating. My mom made the best pies around. I never took up baking pies. I should have. Too late now. I have lovely memories of her blueberry pie, which was my favorite.
I enjoyed your poem about your mom today.
Sincerely Joy xx
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
-
Hello Joy,
I am thrilled that you enjoy my poem. Thank you ever so much for your exceptional rating and complimentary review. I love to write tetractys poems. Not everyone's favorite; that is for certain. I find the challenge of telling a story in a strict format pretty exhilarating.
I do hope your visit with your mom is rewarding and joyful. And while you are there, bake a pie! You can do it! I promise!
Thank you again!
diane
