haiku (black squirrel scurries)
Every morning - without fail!34 total reviews
Comment from donette1914
very cute of this little guy taking the seeds from the bird feeder and they can get fat. very nice poem. I hope for the best on the contest. It was a pleasure and thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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very cute of this little guy taking the seeds from the bird feeder and they can get fat. very nice poem. I hope for the best on the contest. It was a pleasure and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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"Get fat?"
He is huge!
Cheeky bugger!
Glad you enjoy my haiku!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from jppoet
Both this and its adorable photo are artistic. I wish you every success in this contest, as you rightly deserve. 5 7 5 is a very difficult artistic rhyme scheme but you did it ver y well. blessings, john
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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Both this and its adorable photo are artistic. I wish you every success in this contest, as you rightly deserve. 5 7 5 is a very difficult artistic rhyme scheme but you did it ver y well. blessings, john
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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Hello John!
I have been trying and trying to get these haikus right! I may have done it this time!
Thank you for your kind and complimentary review!
diane
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! I bet the black stands out against the snow. Thanks for being so generous with the wildlife. I draw the line with the deer. But then again, once in a while they can have an old apple.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
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Lol! I bet the black stands out against the snow. Thanks for being so generous with the wildlife. I draw the line with the deer. But then again, once in a while they can have an old apple.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
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Hello lyenochka,
So pleased you enjoy!
He is feasting again today!
Thank you again!
diane
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi Diane,
The 5-7-5 poetry form was designed for those of us that like syllable counting but not all the rules that go along with the haiku. I've seen a few contest entries that title them as haiku. I don't do haiku because of the harsh reviews I got for my awkward attempts. I have given up on 5-7-5's because the haiku people still give me harsh reviews, and the haiku people seem to be taking over the simple 5-7-5 contests now. I'm exasperated and defeated.
Anyway, enough of my sour grapes. I like the picture of the squirrel and the scene you portray in your haiku. Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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Hi Diane,
The 5-7-5 poetry form was designed for those of us that like syllable counting but not all the rules that go along with the haiku. I've seen a few contest entries that title them as haiku. I don't do haiku because of the harsh reviews I got for my awkward attempts. I have given up on 5-7-5's because the haiku people still give me harsh reviews, and the haiku people seem to be taking over the simple 5-7-5 contests now. I'm exasperated and defeated.
Anyway, enough of my sour grapes. I like the picture of the squirrel and the scene you portray in your haiku. Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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I understand your frustration, Joy.
I am just trying to master what I understand is traditional haiku. I love the challenge of counting syllables and having it all makes sense.
Wish I could figure out how to copy and paste or upload the photograph of my furry-tailed marauder caught in the act; he was quite comical yesterday!
Thank you!
diane
Comment from rama devi
Excellent~!
Paints the scene vividly, with outstanding phonetics, form and a super-witty satori line. Love all the C and S and B and P sounds plus R, F and CK-Q consonances. Delicious to read aloud. Outstanding word economy. Clever closing. Superb flow. A six! Rare for a three liner, but this is masterfully crafted and amusing too.
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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Excellent~!
Paints the scene vividly, with outstanding phonetics, form and a super-witty satori line. Love all the C and S and B and P sounds plus R, F and CK-Q consonances. Delicious to read aloud. Outstanding word economy. Clever closing. Superb flow. A six! Rare for a three liner, but this is masterfully crafted and amusing too.
Good luck!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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Hello rama devi,
Whew!
I needed that vote of affirmation and confidence today! And no hepaticas even dared encroach upon this little marauder's activities!
Thank you so much for your exceptional rating and complimentary review!
diane
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Yay! :-))))
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 5-7-5 about the black squirrel that challenge the snow and the fence posts to empty the bird feeder for a free instant meal that he could not resist.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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A very well-written 5-7-5 about the black squirrel that challenge the snow and the fence posts to empty the bird feeder for a free instant meal that he could not resist.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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Hi Sandra,
He's at it again as I write! Too funny!
Thank you for your excellent rating and review!
diane
Comment from TPAC
I feel the intent behind this effort, detailing in its given presentation, I feel a slight adjust to strengthen those thoughts.
Suggest:
Squirrel rush scurries
across snow-covered fence posts --
slip on bird-feeder
Just an opinion about this write. All consideration in my opinion of this write.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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I feel the intent behind this effort, detailing in its given presentation, I feel a slight adjust to strengthen those thoughts.
Suggest:
Squirrel rush scurries
across snow-covered fence posts --
slip on bird-feeder
Just an opinion about this write. All consideration in my opinion of this write.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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Hello TPAC!
Thank you for stopping by and your thoughtful review.
This is a traditional haiku, so it must follow specific rules...which I have been doing my darndest to understand and perfect.
Wish you could see my sneaky marauder at the moment; he is having a feast as I write!
Thank you again!
diane
Comment from Pantygynt
The little beggar has probably forgotten where he hid his nuts. I have heard of grey ands red squirrels but the black variety is a new one on me. This is entered into a 5-7-5 contest but actually it could have been entered into a haiku. It has all the ingredients, nature, kigo -- the snow, grammatical run over the first two lines and a good satori into the bargain.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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The little beggar has probably forgotten where he hid his nuts. I have heard of grey ands red squirrels but the black variety is a new one on me. This is entered into a 5-7-5 contest but actually it could have been entered into a haiku. It has all the ingredients, nature, kigo -- the snow, grammatical run over the first two lines and a good satori into the bargain.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2018
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Hello Pantygynt!
So pleased you enjoy! Thank you for your thoughtful review.
Black squirrels are abundant in northern Michigan. I attempted to post another photo of my furry friend "caught in the act," but it didn't transfer to my author's notes.
I was a bit gun shy to post this in the haiku contest after my "hepatica blooms," but I have been practicing, and avoiding archaic verbs! :) The satori is slight, but from the time I walked from our bedroom to the family room and observed this bold little fellow, "empty bird-feeder" was definitely the first thought that came to my mind.
Thank you again!
diane
Comment from The kurlman
A story told in three lines.Maybe your squirrel is the same one robbing our bird feeders? Another good job, enjoyable, reading in a small space. The kurlman
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
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A story told in three lines.Maybe your squirrel is the same one robbing our bird feeders? Another good job, enjoyable, reading in a small space. The kurlman
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
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Hello Friend!
He's back.
With three friends today!
Cheeky Bugger!
Thank you for your kind review!
diane
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He must like you, The kurlman
Comment from Lori S
Delightful little poem with lots of energy and good flow. I recently wrote and submitted my first 3 line poem, and found it surprisingly difficult to pull off! I think this is a perfect example of haiku and I look forward to checking out your other work!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
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Delightful little poem with lots of energy and good flow. I recently wrote and submitted my first 3 line poem, and found it surprisingly difficult to pull off! I think this is a perfect example of haiku and I look forward to checking out your other work!
Comment Written 26-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
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Hello Lori,
I find haiku to be very challenging but fun to pen!
Thank you for your complimentary review!
diane