Record of Life
The record of life spins. Who loses or wins?63 total reviews
Comment from estory
This is an interesting piece, with plenty of musical elements, and food for thought at the same time. I thought the repetitions in it captured that sense of the records spinning, playing the same tunes over and over, in a kind of sad refrain. In the end, they are just songs, and can't influence the world one way or the other much. The prejudice of the store owner, creates that tense scene with you trembling as you try to buy those records. That's the reality of the moment, beyond the music, that the music can't reach somehow. Then, you move on, and return to the shop, to find it shuttered, the owner, out of business. So it seems prejudice loses. but you also lost that moment of buying your forty fives. So its a complicated theme of racial relations and hope, despair, struggle and a kind of redemption, a partial redemption, which is much like life. You don't really get everything you want. estory
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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This is an interesting piece, with plenty of musical elements, and food for thought at the same time. I thought the repetitions in it captured that sense of the records spinning, playing the same tunes over and over, in a kind of sad refrain. In the end, they are just songs, and can't influence the world one way or the other much. The prejudice of the store owner, creates that tense scene with you trembling as you try to buy those records. That's the reality of the moment, beyond the music, that the music can't reach somehow. Then, you move on, and return to the shop, to find it shuttered, the owner, out of business. So it seems prejudice loses. but you also lost that moment of buying your forty fives. So its a complicated theme of racial relations and hope, despair, struggle and a kind of redemption, a partial redemption, which is much like life. You don't really get everything you want. estory
Comment Written 10-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Yes, Estory, we both lost in this complex story. It is impossible to focus on buying records with a gun pointed at me. Waving it, he even asked, "Is that all you're going to buy?" It was armed purchasing. I told him I only had two dollars. He had some great records in the shop--a virgin territory for a record collector. If he had not pulled out the gun, I would have returned to buy more. More than the loss of records or money was the loss of an opportunity for better race relations. The records are an apt metaphor for incidents such as these repeating themselves as if the record had a skip.
Thank you for your generous and intuitive six star review.
Comment from RGstar
Fast pace and moving well. I recognize the feel and excitement of those 45's when owned, and purchased, treasured and kept with pride.
A part of a time where we did the same things but had own take, culturally, on how it appeased the mind.
Later the write developed more into asocial aspect in the shop, but revolved around the 45's and metaphors in life at that time leading up to the now.
This moved at pace as if narrative on stage, flashing images of which are kept by the psyche.
A very well done, author. This deserves a six for innovation.
Have a good day.
RGstar
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Fast pace and moving well. I recognize the feel and excitement of those 45's when owned, and purchased, treasured and kept with pride.
A part of a time where we did the same things but had own take, culturally, on how it appeased the mind.
Later the write developed more into asocial aspect in the shop, but revolved around the 45's and metaphors in life at that time leading up to the now.
This moved at pace as if narrative on stage, flashing images of which are kept by the psyche.
A very well done, author. This deserves a six for innovation.
Have a good day.
RGstar
Comment Written 10-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Yes, yes, yes, RG, "This moved at pace as if narrative on stage, flashing images of which are kept by the psyche." My songwriting teacher and fellow students in the workshop have noted the theatrical, dramatic quality of my songs which they have compared to musicals and plays. They even suggested musical accompaniment as I perform my song while others act out the scenes.
Records are an apt metaphor for how some asocial cultural things keep repeating themselves like a skip in a record.
Your review of an earlier song inspired me to write this one in the present tense, increasing the immediacy and intimacy. While one reviewer complained that the entire song should be in the past tense, your advice to write in present tense made the song.
Thank you for your generous six stars and review. I much appreciate them.
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Always more impact writing poetry . and even sometimes, songs...though a real song also has much impact in past tense also. When you write apoetry, the impact of presens brings more into the equasion, being more impactful for many can find themselves linked to the scene, where as, in past tense, the action has passed and now a telling of it, which limits the amount as well the imapct...also, much more dynamic. See, I am giving away trade secrets on air lol...to you my friend, a pleasure for I will learn from you as you from me.
Have a great day. Nicely done.
RG
Comment from Ben Colder
Oh the ways of a rebellious child. The answer is always present. Sow to the wind? Reap the whirlwind! And the book is open. You live it. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Oh the ways of a rebellious child. The answer is always present. Sow to the wind? Reap the whirlwind! And the book is open. You live it. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Ben, for your review.
Comment from nbonner
I like how you took it back to old school music (which I love). That what the best music of all time. I really enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest. NB
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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I like how you took it back to old school music (which I love). That what the best music of all time. I really enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest. NB
Comment Written 10-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Thank you, NB, for your generous, six star review. Yes, I got teary-eyed when I reminisced about the old school music and their records.
Comment from c_lucas
Evil is not a "Black" creations. It has been with us always. Racism is a hard stain to erase. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Evil is not a "Black" creations. It has been with us always. Racism is a hard stain to erase. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Thank you, C Lucas, for your review and astute observations on evil, racism, and my song.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Thanks for entering my Lyrics Make The Song Contest.
Appreciate it very much.
Should make an interesting entry into the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Thanks for entering my Lyrics Make The Song Contest.
Appreciate it very much.
Should make an interesting entry into the contest.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Brett, for hosting your contest. I appreciate it and your review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
I drive four hundred miles
to see the antique shop's
locked doors and empty aisles. - How sad. But brilliant lyrics, evoking such nostalgia. I singled these lines out (with difficulty - the gun scene had me paralyzed with fear) because they are my favorite, but I loved the whole thing.
What a powerful poem! I'll have to watch for this contest...
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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I drive four hundred miles
to see the antique shop's
locked doors and empty aisles. - How sad. But brilliant lyrics, evoking such nostalgia. I singled these lines out (with difficulty - the gun scene had me paralyzed with fear) because they are my favorite, but I loved the whole thing.
What a powerful poem! I'll have to watch for this contest...
Comment Written 10-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Oh, thank you, Ideasaregems-Dawn, for your review. Yes, thirty-three years after the gun incident, I returned to the shop, completing a circle with my story like a record on a turntable. Thank you for your review and for wishing me well in the contest.
Comment from MissMerri
This sounds musical, even without the music. It isn't difficult to imagine it being sung to accompanying guitars. I enjoyed the story and always like songs that tell a story. It was pretty creative to use the spinning record as a metaphor for life. Very nice song. Good luck in your contest, and I'm so thankful you did not get shot!! MM
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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This sounds musical, even without the music. It isn't difficult to imagine it being sung to accompanying guitars. I enjoyed the story and always like songs that tell a story. It was pretty creative to use the spinning record as a metaphor for life. Very nice song. Good luck in your contest, and I'm so thankful you did not get shot!! MM
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2017
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Yes, MissMerri, I love songs that tell stories, and worked hard to create not only a story about my passion for records but a person's prejudice against people of color. Records are not only an apt metaphor for life, but for these shootings that keep happening like a record going around and around.
Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest. I am glad I did not get shot!
Comment from GWinterwin
I like your poem and also your notes. It reminds me of those so called good old days. I can relate to your situation a little. I am white and when I was a boy we knew as well to not get caught on the black side of town if we anted to stay healthy as the saying goes. We did almost get caught one time as we were in a town that we were unfamiliar with, and just got away by the skin of our teeth. Our family is a very multicultural family with our son-in-law being black, my wife being Spanish and American Indian, my sister-in-law being Korean, and maybe more I am not aware of. God's word says we must love all people but not everything they do. I believe it is terrible for anyone to hate another because of nationality or color of skin. God must truly be angry with anyone who does that. I do remember how popular the 45's were and how many people collected them. Thanks for sharing, God bless always.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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I like your poem and also your notes. It reminds me of those so called good old days. I can relate to your situation a little. I am white and when I was a boy we knew as well to not get caught on the black side of town if we anted to stay healthy as the saying goes. We did almost get caught one time as we were in a town that we were unfamiliar with, and just got away by the skin of our teeth. Our family is a very multicultural family with our son-in-law being black, my wife being Spanish and American Indian, my sister-in-law being Korean, and maybe more I am not aware of. God's word says we must love all people but not everything they do. I believe it is terrible for anyone to hate another because of nationality or color of skin. God must truly be angry with anyone who does that. I do remember how popular the 45's were and how many people collected them. Thanks for sharing, God bless always.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Thank you, GWinterwin, for your review and for sharing your memories. Reading other people's experiences is one of the greatest pleasures of answering reviews. Yes, we must love all people, but not everything they do. Thanks again.
Comment from smileycloud
your assignments you have accomplished really well
the lyrics are profoundly relevant to then and sadly to now and even more sadly to the future
You have expressed all the emotions of fear longing distance in both years and lifestyle very vivdly indeed
good work your tutor should be well pleased
I actually, read poetry before I read author's notes, and while reading for some reason I was thinking very strongly about the great John Lennon
your writing certainly creates images and stirs feelings
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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your assignments you have accomplished really well
the lyrics are profoundly relevant to then and sadly to now and even more sadly to the future
You have expressed all the emotions of fear longing distance in both years and lifestyle very vivdly indeed
good work your tutor should be well pleased
I actually, read poetry before I read author's notes, and while reading for some reason I was thinking very strongly about the great John Lennon
your writing certainly creates images and stirs feelings
have a smiley day
Comment Written 09-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2017
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Oh, thank you, Smiley, for your review. Yes, the sad thing about my incident of seventeen years ago is that it is still happening today and will continue happening in the future. The record is an apt metaphor because it keeps going around and around.
Thanks also for saying you thought of John Lennon while reading my song. I bought his Double Fantasy album two months after the events described in my song and before his assassination.
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::))
Blessings