Just You Wait
Bullied no more31 total reviews
Comment from Curly Girly
I just loved this short little story-poem. I hope it wins. It's worthy of a 6 but I'm out. Best wishes in the contest. What you have written is so true. Brains are better than brawn.
CG
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I just loved this short little story-poem. I hope it wins. It's worthy of a 6 but I'm out. Best wishes in the contest. What you have written is so true. Brains are better than brawn.
CG
Comment Written 26-May-2017
Comment from wondertwin
Very cute story and relevant to this day in age for sure! I applaud your choice to address the bulling problem in America and abroad also. Well done, Blessings, AmyJo
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Very cute story and relevant to this day in age for sure! I applaud your choice to address the bulling problem in America and abroad also. Well done, Blessings, AmyJo
Comment Written 26-May-2017
Comment from Thal1959
Very charming work, though the "prose-like" appearance initially threw me. I always enjoy the story of a kid who is put-down, but then overcomes all obstacles. Very good.
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Very charming work, though the "prose-like" appearance initially threw me. I always enjoy the story of a kid who is put-down, but then overcomes all obstacles. Very good.
Comment Written 26-May-2017
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I liked this piece and it is very true as well. In your last line, cuz is a variation rather than an abbreviation so I don't think it needs the apostrophe. Also you have an errant apostrophe right at the very end on a line of its own.
Best of luck with this one
GMG
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Hi there,
I liked this piece and it is very true as well. In your last line, cuz is a variation rather than an abbreviation so I don't think it needs the apostrophe. Also you have an errant apostrophe right at the very end on a line of its own.
Best of luck with this one
GMG
Comment Written 26-May-2017
Comment from Spitfire
A concise poem that hopefully would get the message across to the bullies as well as the nerds. My son's classmates who tested gifted didn't do well in the real world because popularity in high school was more important than getting good grades. My son who was two point short to be labeled gifted and he didn't get the girls or invited to parties like the others as smart as he was. Now, he's making a six figure salary as a computer engineer with top secret clearance.
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A concise poem that hopefully would get the message across to the bullies as well as the nerds. My son's classmates who tested gifted didn't do well in the real world because popularity in high school was more important than getting good grades. My son who was two point short to be labeled gifted and he didn't get the girls or invited to parties like the others as smart as he was. Now, he's making a six figure salary as a computer engineer with top secret clearance.
Comment Written 25-May-2017
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This a very good and funny poem. Watch out who you step on while going through life. An excellent lesson for children to learn.
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This a very good and funny poem. Watch out who you step on while going through life. An excellent lesson for children to learn.
Comment Written 25-May-2017
Comment from lyenochka
This definitely meets the "motivational" part of the contest challenge. It also promotes a positive solution for those picked on and teased. Great message.
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This definitely meets the "motivational" part of the contest challenge. It also promotes a positive solution for those picked on and teased. Great message.
Comment Written 25-May-2017
Comment from planetjanet
This is a cute contest, my favorite part is "one day when you hate your job" . . .
It makes a great banner for the bullied, especially the second stanza. I was a loner, rejected by peers with few to connect with, so I can relate!
This is built really well: rhythm, rhyme, and resolution. Just You Wait is the perfect title.
Good luck in the contest :)
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This is a cute contest, my favorite part is "one day when you hate your job" . . .
It makes a great banner for the bullied, especially the second stanza. I was a loner, rejected by peers with few to connect with, so I can relate!
This is built really well: rhythm, rhyme, and resolution. Just You Wait is the perfect title.
Good luck in the contest :)
Comment Written 25-May-2017
Comment from WalkerMan
This retort to would-be bullies is superb, and I regret not having a Six left to give it. Bullies act for one of two main reasons -- they are lashing out either over envy because of their own shortcomings, or over anguish from being abused at home. Compassion is generally more effective than punishment in dealing effectively with both; but a good retort such as you post here can at least show unwillingness to be a victim, which may be enough to prevent escalation of the threat.
Two punctuation suggestions: A comma would be better after "rocked" in line six. Also, the long dash you intended at the end of line five is better expressed as two hyphens in a row (no space between) rather than one, if the editor won't allow the correct symbol. In MS WORD, hold down the ALT key while typing 0151 on the numeric keypad (not the alphabetic part of the keyboard) to get a true long (EM) dash. If you prefer the shorter EN dash so you can put a space on each side of it, then hold ALT while typing 0150 on the numeric keypad. Add the spaces separately.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This retort to would-be bullies is superb, and I regret not having a Six left to give it. Bullies act for one of two main reasons -- they are lashing out either over envy because of their own shortcomings, or over anguish from being abused at home. Compassion is generally more effective than punishment in dealing effectively with both; but a good retort such as you post here can at least show unwillingness to be a victim, which may be enough to prevent escalation of the threat.
Two punctuation suggestions: A comma would be better after "rocked" in line six. Also, the long dash you intended at the end of line five is better expressed as two hyphens in a row (no space between) rather than one, if the editor won't allow the correct symbol. In MS WORD, hold down the ALT key while typing 0151 on the numeric keypad (not the alphabetic part of the keyboard) to get a true long (EM) dash. If you prefer the shorter EN dash so you can put a space on each side of it, then hold ALT while typing 0150 on the numeric keypad. Add the spaces separately.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-May-2017
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hahaha, yeah, that's probably true, Anonymous Poet, LOL.
And, most kids today over the age of five probably know what a CEO does, and what the initials stand for.
Cookie Eating Ogre, right?
See, I'm just as smart as any fifth grader out there, so HAH!
Nice write, good luck.
~Dean
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Hahaha, yeah, that's probably true, Anonymous Poet, LOL.
And, most kids today over the age of five probably know what a CEO does, and what the initials stand for.
Cookie Eating Ogre, right?
See, I'm just as smart as any fifth grader out there, so HAH!
Nice write, good luck.
~Dean
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-May-2017