2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "haiku (Summer clouds)"A collection of Japanese poetry
27 total reviews
Comment from royowen
The irony with the satori was not wasted on me. I learned a fair bit about haiku thanks to you. It's Ben much more in prominence because of your influence, so well done, Gypsy, blessings, Roy l
reply by the author on 05-May-2017
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The irony with the satori was not wasted on me. I learned a fair bit about haiku thanks to you. It's Ben much more in prominence because of your influence, so well done, Gypsy, blessings, Roy l
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 05-May-2017
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Thank you, my friend, you are very kind.
Gypsy
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Most welcome
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I had to laugh at this one as i remember all the pastimes as a child watching the clouds move slow and change shapes as they did. Right syllable count, summer. great imagery and a perfect aaaahhhh ending
reply by the author on 05-May-2017
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I had to laugh at this one as i remember all the pastimes as a child watching the clouds move slow and change shapes as they did. Right syllable count, summer. great imagery and a perfect aaaahhhh ending
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 05-May-2017
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Thank you, my friend, you are very kind.
Gypsy
Comment from l.raven
Hi Gypsy, I have always loved taking my grandkids to Florida...we always played the cloud game...found pictures in the clouds...they truly are beautiful...I love your poem Queen of Haiku...and love your picture...love ya you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 05-May-2017
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Hi Gypsy, I have always loved taking my grandkids to Florida...we always played the cloud game...found pictures in the clouds...they truly are beautiful...I love your poem Queen of Haiku...and love your picture...love ya you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 05-May-2017
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Thank you, my friend, you are very kind. Luv ya sweetie pie.
Gypsy
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love ya too...you are so very welcome...xxoo love
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
This is a nice little Haiku you've penned.
It consists of three lines.
The lines contain a syllable count: 3-7-3
Total syllable count: 13
The image shown is perfect for this poem. The background color blends in well with the art. The font color matches the clouds and is readable.
'cheap pastime'- To me, time is passing by very slowly. On the other hand, watching clouds could be a hobby.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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This is a nice little Haiku you've penned.
It consists of three lines.
The lines contain a syllable count: 3-7-3
Total syllable count: 13
The image shown is perfect for this poem. The background color blends in well with the art. The font color matches the clouds and is readable.
'cheap pastime'- To me, time is passing by very slowly. On the other hand, watching clouds could be a hobby.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you, my friend, I appreciate your review.
Gypsy Blue Rose
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 in June
Comment from PAIKNE85
An interesting haiku. I am more than certain that there is something in between the lines that I just cant seem to grasp so I wont sell you short of at least 4 stars just because my comprehension is mediocre. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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An interesting haiku. I am more than certain that there is something in between the lines that I just cant seem to grasp so I wont sell you short of at least 4 stars just because my comprehension is mediocre. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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We give a four stars review when there is something wrong with the poem but there is nothing wrong with mine. Thank you, I appreciate your review.
Gypsy Blue Rose
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 in June
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I'm sorry, who is "we"? I'm lost...
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fanstory is we, I am talking about the rating system in fanstory. Four stars mean something is wrong and the reviewers tell the writer how we think it may be improve if we know.
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Sorry but I did my research and am afraid you are wrong.
"Everyone will receive what they feel is unfair reviews. Not everyone will enjoy your work. The site strongly encourages tough and honest reviews even when a reader disagrees with the majority of the reviewers. While FanStory.com reserves the right to remove any content, it rarely does so."
-fanstory.com
The stars, from what common sense depicts, are the basic Awful-Perfect grade structure. For example, 1 star could be awful/the worst while 5 or 6 star is most likely meant to mean perfect/no room for improvement. Fanstory.com even states that it does not support or suggest that reviewers hand out stars out of the kindness of their hearts...reviews are for a wide variety of readers to give HONEST feedback on, whether you like it or not. I
I think you have a very sugar coated idea about this site due to the community factor. Why would you even want phoney reviews out of some misguided sympathy? Honestly that goes against everything i stand for.
Conversely, bitter reviews given out of an ugly malice revenge are not only pathetic, but they completely destroy the purpose of this site. We are all adults for the most part, no reason we cant set our emotions and impulses aside and give/get honest feedback.
Take care
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Ps: i rarely give 4 star ratings fyi. All i mean to say is that no, it is NOT perfect, but it was by all means a good piece of work in my opinion. Try not to be so defensive. Its almost like youre upset because you were EXPECTING a certain number of stars or a perfect review.
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How To Review
First, decide the number of stars to reward a work and select it.
Next, determine your note to the writer. This should be as detailed as possible.
We recommend the following format:
First, state what you like.
Next, state what needs work. If you are offering a lower rating it should be clear as to why.
End the review with what you like again.
When an author submits a work they need to know what they can do better. So, of course, we point that out. But an author also needs to know what he or she did right. Both are critical to grow as a writer.
Just stating what you don't like can come across as an attack. Pointing out both what you like and what needs work will help the writer.
OK
ranking guide
six is exceptional/outstanding
five is excellent no revisions
four good adjustments needed
three below average
two below average needs lots of work
one poor major revision
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Summer clouds may move slow, but they are great for watching. I was laying in the front yard watching the clouds. The EMT truck showed up and tried to take me away.
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Summer clouds may move slow, but they are great for watching. I was laying in the front yard watching the clouds. The EMT truck showed up and tried to take me away.
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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hahaha you must have looked totally out of it. Thank you for the review.
Gypsy
Comment from Nottoway
Beautifully done. A nice invitation to everyone to enjoy a slow relaxation! Beautifully imagery and styling.
This haiku reminded me of the many times I have sat on a porch of that I have been driving and gotten to see clouds on the horizon.
Always a beautiful painting.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Beautifully done. A nice invitation to everyone to enjoy a slow relaxation! Beautifully imagery and styling.
This haiku reminded me of the many times I have sat on a porch of that I have been driving and gotten to see clouds on the horizon.
Always a beautiful painting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you, my friend, I appreciate your review.
Gypsy Blue Rose
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 in June