2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "haiku (where lilies blossom)"A collection of Japanese poetry
23 total reviews
Comment from XGoneX
Hello,
Your poem indeed brought me childhood memories as I used to live surrounded by these flowers. It gives a good imagery and plays with the senses, such as smell.
The poem also has a good flow and alliteration.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Hello,
Your poem indeed brought me childhood memories as I used to live surrounded by these flowers. It gives a good imagery and plays with the senses, such as smell.
The poem also has a good flow and alliteration.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from DR DIP
Gypsy just curious in your author's notes you described locusts but in your Haiku you say locus? is that what you meant.
Locus n. an area or place where something happens
Must be a haiku thing lol
dip
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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Gypsy just curious in your author's notes you described locusts but in your Haiku you say locus? is that what you meant.
Locus n. an area or place where something happens
Must be a haiku thing lol
dip
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Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Oh shxt! LoL good catch. Thank you for the review and kind words. :)
Gypsy
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yeah, if in"locusts" you are referring to grasshoppers in your lovely haiku here, I get it, Gypsy.
Good concrete imagery in your first two lines.
Good 5/8/2 syllable count, in English, of course.
Your haiku is written in present tense.
Your kigo is obviously spring or summer (I'm guessing spring).
The satori is a nice summation of the haiku in its entirety.
Bravo, Sensei, well done!
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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Yeah, if in"locusts" you are referring to grasshoppers in your lovely haiku here, I get it, Gypsy.
Good concrete imagery in your first two lines.
Good 5/8/2 syllable count, in English, of course.
Your haiku is written in present tense.
Your kigo is obviously spring or summer (I'm guessing spring).
The satori is a nice summation of the haiku in its entirety.
Bravo, Sensei, well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie I appreciate the excellent review.
Gypsy