Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Mountain's Knees"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
29 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, I'm glad your back with the story. It's been a while since we've last heard from them.
And drought resistant buses = bushes
I'm looking forward to what's next. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Rhonda, I'm glad your back with the story. It's been a while since we've last heard from them.
And drought resistant buses = bushes
I'm looking forward to what's next. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Sorry, Ulla, but I've had some health issues, a quilt to finish, and needed time to think about where I wanted to go with this chapter.
I always appreciate your time and care,
Rhonda
Comment from Douglas Paul
Another good chapter, my friend. I feel the tension and excitement building as they get closer to the mines. Good insights into fear in this chapter too. Well done. I see no errors
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Another good chapter, my friend. I feel the tension and excitement building as they get closer to the mines. Good insights into fear in this chapter too. Well done. I see no errors
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Douglas!! You're a great friend, and I appreciate the six stars and kind review.
I'm glad the chapter came across well. I struggled with the direction I wanted to go with this chapter, for reasons I spoke to you about before, but think I've got it now!!
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'The Mountain's Knees' is a good read.
Well-written.
Nicely polished.
Great dialogue.
The author's notes are appreciated.- Thank you!
Lovely artwork: The image shown supports the story.
Thanks for sharing a part of your book.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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'The Mountain's Knees' is a good read.
Well-written.
Nicely polished.
Great dialogue.
The author's notes are appreciated.- Thank you!
Lovely artwork: The image shown supports the story.
Thanks for sharing a part of your book.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Nicole. What a kind and generous review, my friend. I love the comments that are supportive and helpful.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from F. Wehr3
Nice work on this part of the story. I have missed a few parts while I was away, but I enjoy this story. Please consider the following.
Short of half an hour, they finished eating, and gathered their belongings.--Recommend no comma before and because they performs two actions.
but built lean-tos to sheltered them while they rested.--Suggest shelter
"Remember, I only agree to stay with the party to support Koko, and to help her find Todd.--I read over this sentence a couple of times, and it finally dawned on me. I think it read smoother with agreed. Also, recommend no comma before and.
You have a couple of these throughout, not a big deal just pointing out what I notice.
Overall, I like the premise of your story, and I enjoy Sani's wisdom.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Nice work on this part of the story. I have missed a few parts while I was away, but I enjoy this story. Please consider the following.
Short of half an hour, they finished eating, and gathered their belongings.--Recommend no comma before and because they performs two actions.
but built lean-tos to sheltered them while they rested.--Suggest shelter
"Remember, I only agree to stay with the party to support Koko, and to help her find Todd.--I read over this sentence a couple of times, and it finally dawned on me. I think it read smoother with agreed. Also, recommend no comma before and.
You have a couple of these throughout, not a big deal just pointing out what I notice.
Overall, I like the premise of your story, and I enjoy Sani's wisdom.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Russell. I don't know if you've missed any as I haven't posted on this book in about two weeks. Last week my post was a chapter from another book I'm writing.
I do appreciate you stopping in to help with this one.
I've made changes, per your suggestions.
Have a great week,
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. This is a most interesting story. You have had me hooked from the first chapter I read. The dialogue is well written and believable. You take the reader into the story. Good work.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Excellent. This is a most interesting story. You have had me hooked from the first chapter I read. The dialogue is well written and believable. You take the reader into the story. Good work.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you, my friend. As always, I appreciate your supportive reviews. You always have an upbeat manner of reviewing.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda--and a good lesson here about not letting fear stop you, but being a sniveling coward has always served me well, so I won't be following your advice, thank you very much!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda--and a good lesson here about not letting fear stop you, but being a sniveling coward has always served me well, so I won't be following your advice, thank you very much!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Ahh, sniveling coward works for me, as well, and especially when it involves bulls of any sort... oh, and spiders!!
Take care,
Rhonda
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I can understand about the bull thing, and totally agree about spiders, but the big hairy-ass ones that crawl up your drain, I guess, hate those things. I immediately go into my little girl impression when those bastard's are around!
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You are so funny!!
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Thanks, Rhonda--and sometimes, it's intentional!
Comment from SeanFox16
Hi Rhonda. Thank you for sharing this excellent read. I am not familiar with the backstory so I have bit of catching up to do. I love the title of this chapter. The story moves along at a steady pace, the dialogue is great and the characters are very interesting. All in all, it has all the ingredients to make this a great long read. I will definitely be reading more.
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Rhonda. Thank you for sharing this excellent read. I am not familiar with the backstory so I have bit of catching up to do. I love the title of this chapter. The story moves along at a steady pace, the dialogue is great and the characters are very interesting. All in all, it has all the ingredients to make this a great long read. I will definitely be reading more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you for stopping by to read, Sean. I do so hope you will continue on with it.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again you did a wonderful job with this post. I am worried about them getting closer to the mines. I an curious about what will happen now. GREAT JOB!!!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Once again you did a wonderful job with this post. I am worried about them getting closer to the mines. I an curious about what will happen now. GREAT JOB!!!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the beautiful six stars, Barbara. You are as generous as you are talented.
It took me a few weeks to figure out the direction I wanted to go with this chapter, but think I've got it now, though, so should post faster on it.
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Rhonda,
It's been a while since you posted a chapter of this one. A good, solid continuation delving deeper into some history, backstory and personal development/characteristics for the characters.
succulents and drought resistant buses - bushes?
The girls chattered constantly about the site of mountains - sight.
after-effects - aftereffects.
"Will that make it less your child?" Archie asked, "or will it make you want - the second part of dialogue here should start with a capital Or - the previous sentence of dialogue was closed off by the question mark.
All the best
G
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hi Rhonda,
It's been a while since you posted a chapter of this one. A good, solid continuation delving deeper into some history, backstory and personal development/characteristics for the characters.
succulents and drought resistant buses - bushes?
The girls chattered constantly about the site of mountains - sight.
after-effects - aftereffects.
"Will that make it less your child?" Archie asked, "or will it make you want - the second part of dialogue here should start with a capital Or - the previous sentence of dialogue was closed off by the question mark.
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful review, G.
You're right, I haven't posted on this book for a while. I had sort of come to a crossroads, and I had to decide which way to chose. I think I've gotten worked out how to incorporate Sani's ideas of Tommyknockers, while keeping true to Science Fiction. I am glad for the advice of you and others on this site about how to handle it.
Take care,
Rhonda