2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "haibun (king of nothing)"A collection of Japanese poetry
26 total reviews
Comment from DR DIP
How lucky are you Dean to have a poem dedicated about you? lol
Interesting verse Gypsy. The homeless are often judged before ever listening or meeting them they are regarded as second class citizens The problem is you cannot judge a book by its cover.
Thanks for posting
dip
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
  |
How lucky are you Dean to have a poem dedicated about you? lol
Interesting verse Gypsy. The homeless are often judged before ever listening or meeting them they are regarded as second class citizens The problem is you cannot judge a book by its cover.
Thanks for posting
dip
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
-
Hahaha... yeah, he knows he is lucky.
Thank you for the review and kind words, my friend. Thank you!
Gypsy haijin sensei
Fanstory haiku teacher
Member of the Haiku Society of America
°°°»°«°°°a new haiku class every month°°°»°«°°°
Comment from Lu Saluna
The King of Nothing should be honoured for such a tribute.
It is a lovely haibun, gracious and kind to one most would snub and ignore.
The homeless are expected to blend in and be faceless, nameless and hide from sight. Out of sight out of mind. Your haiku is a reflection of much the same, except for the eyes. The eyes of the homeless tell their story. Their eyes show so much. Their, pain, sorrow, fear, drug/alcohol addiction... For me this is what speaks to me.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
|
The King of Nothing should be honoured for such a tribute.
It is a lovely haibun, gracious and kind to one most would snub and ignore.
The homeless are expected to blend in and be faceless, nameless and hide from sight. Out of sight out of mind. Your haiku is a reflection of much the same, except for the eyes. The eyes of the homeless tell their story. Their eyes show so much. Their, pain, sorrow, fear, drug/alcohol addiction... For me this is what speaks to me.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for the the review and kind words, my friend. Hugs. Thank you, sweetie pie!
Gypsy haijin sensei
Fanstory haiku teacher
Member of the Haiku Society of America
°°°»°«°°°a new haiku class every month°°°»°«°°°
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
There are too many homeless on our streets these days. Here in the UK it's the same and set to get worse. King of nothing, is right. There used to be an expression here in England: An Englishman's home is his castle... It's true in a different way now, the rich have their castles while the poor grovel in the dirt. Excellent haibun, saying so much. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
|
There are too many homeless on our streets these days. Here in the UK it's the same and set to get worse. King of nothing, is right. There used to be an expression here in England: An Englishman's home is his castle... It's true in a different way now, the rich have their castles while the poor grovel in the dirt. Excellent haibun, saying so much. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for the review and kind words. :)
Gypsy haijin sensei
Fanstory haiku teacher
Member of the Haiku Society of America
°°°»°«°°°a new haiku class every month°°°»°«°°°
Comment from lyenochka
So eloquently described! Perhaps you saw his soul and not his temporal circumstance. Great matching of prose about the weather and the double-take of the man.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
|
So eloquently described! Perhaps you saw his soul and not his temporal circumstance. Great matching of prose about the weather and the double-take of the man.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
-
Thank you very much, my friend, you are very kind and I appreciate your generous review.
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Haiku Instructor and Poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ya know, that's my nick name, Gypsy Sensei; King Nothing.
I even seriously considered changing my FanStory handle to that on more than one occasion.
Regardless of that, I loved the imagery in this hard-hitting tanka. It's a slice of reality; an ethereal scene set in the sun-soaked streets of Sacramento.
I could clearly picture the man moving towards you--with what looked like the flowing royal robes of a King trailing behind him.
But as the man got closer, you realized it was just another of the many faces of the homeless roaming the streets in one of America's larger cities cloaked in a thermal blanket.
Your haiku continues along in the same vein, as you described in minute detail how seeing the man made you fell.
The addition of the Metallica video was just the icing on an already sweet cake.
Bravo, teach!
Well done...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
|
Ya know, that's my nick name, Gypsy Sensei; King Nothing.
I even seriously considered changing my FanStory handle to that on more than one occasion.
Regardless of that, I loved the imagery in this hard-hitting tanka. It's a slice of reality; an ethereal scene set in the sun-soaked streets of Sacramento.
I could clearly picture the man moving towards you--with what looked like the flowing royal robes of a King trailing behind him.
But as the man got closer, you realized it was just another of the many faces of the homeless roaming the streets in one of America's larger cities cloaked in a thermal blanket.
Your haiku continues along in the same vein, as you described in minute detail how seeing the man made you fell.
The addition of the Metallica video was just the icing on an already sweet cake.
Bravo, teach!
Well done...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
-
thank you, Dean, I think King Nothing would be cool but I like your pen name, Dean Kuch. Thank you for the lovely review, darlin.
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
-
You're more 'n' welcome, Gypsy...
Comment from Sis Cat
Fantastic. I enjoy reading haibuns such as this one because I want to expand from writing only haiku to pairing it with prose. You told a story in about one hundred words. You start off with what you assume was a king in a blue cape only to learn that he is a homeless man with a thermal blanket. Nevertheless, as you pass one another, this scene of mutual dignity and respect unfolded:
"As he walked by me, we exchanged glances and bowed slightly."
You cap this off with this haiku about the man:
"Eyes ablaze
Reflect Indian summer-
King of nothing"
The regal man you encountered reminded me of Emperor Norton, an eccentric of San Francisco for the Gold Rush days.
This is fine slice of life writing with a superb poetic response that inspires me to want to write my own haibun.
Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
|
Fantastic. I enjoy reading haibuns such as this one because I want to expand from writing only haiku to pairing it with prose. You told a story in about one hundred words. You start off with what you assume was a king in a blue cape only to learn that he is a homeless man with a thermal blanket. Nevertheless, as you pass one another, this scene of mutual dignity and respect unfolded:
"As he walked by me, we exchanged glances and bowed slightly."
You cap this off with this haiku about the man:
"Eyes ablaze
Reflect Indian summer-
King of nothing"
The regal man you encountered reminded me of Emperor Norton, an eccentric of San Francisco for the Gold Rush days.
This is fine slice of life writing with a superb poetic response that inspires me to want to write my own haibun.
Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
-
You are amazing. It's almost as if you read my mind. You are very perceptive, Andre and your reviews are always helpful and kind. Thank you, my friend.
You should try writing a haibun. They are a lot of fun and I know you will do a great job.
Gypsy Haijin Sensei