Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "My beautiful Cahore"Words to pass on to my children
37 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Sounds like an awesome place. I would love to go there. We really need to have a refuge like this in our minds to retreat to on our stressful times in life. Great job!
Gypsy
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Sounds like an awesome place. I would love to go there. We really need to have a refuge like this in our minds to retreat to on our stressful times in life. Great job!
Gypsy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Gyply I appreciate your welcome review and comments. Mary
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for transporting us to this "enchanted village"--I can see why it is a favorite of yours. I enjoyed your descriptive free verse and photograph to help establish the scene. Your "magic carpet" metaphor and "mistress of the night" personification are very effective. Cheers and best wishes in the free verse contest- Joan
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you for transporting us to this "enchanted village"--I can see why it is a favorite of yours. I enjoyed your descriptive free verse and photograph to help establish the scene. Your "magic carpet" metaphor and "mistress of the night" personification are very effective. Cheers and best wishes in the free verse contest- Joan
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Joan I appreciate your welcome review and comments. Mary
Comment from Teri7
This is a very beautiful free verse poem you have penned for the contest. I love the picture you chose to go with this. You used very good descriptive wording. Best wishes in the contest! Teri
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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This is a very beautiful free verse poem you have penned for the contest. I love the picture you chose to go with this. You used very good descriptive wording. Best wishes in the contest! Teri
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Teri I appreciate your welcome review and comments. Mary
Comment from Ella25
What a lovely words in your free verse poem, my dear. So delightful and full of magical charm. Beautifully wrapped in the shades of blue. It must be a splendid place, so engraved in your mind, bringing precious memories back. I adored and enjoyed reading this great piece.
Love this part the most....
"at twilight, nature displays
a glowing canopy of the bluest blue
as stars slowly begin to appear
the mistress of the night enters into view
a beaming orb shimmering all aglow
smiling across the harbour
her luminous light is welcomed"
With love, Ella
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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What a lovely words in your free verse poem, my dear. So delightful and full of magical charm. Beautifully wrapped in the shades of blue. It must be a splendid place, so engraved in your mind, bringing precious memories back. I adored and enjoyed reading this great piece.
Love this part the most....
"at twilight, nature displays
a glowing canopy of the bluest blue
as stars slowly begin to appear
the mistress of the night enters into view
a beaming orb shimmering all aglow
smiling across the harbour
her luminous light is welcomed"
With love, Ella
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Ella, for your wonderful review and shining stars for my free verse poem, I am so pleased you enjoyed it. Mary
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Jackarrie, this is a lovely free verse with good descriptive content. You describe this place in Ireland very well. Well written and I can see no way that it could be bettered. You make the place sound very appealing. the mistress of the night enters into view', good use of metaphor regarding the moon.
to sit and watch
the wild sea crashing against the cliffs
roaring loudly as each white horse
tumbles and unfurls its majestic wave
swirling tirelessly through time
a hypnotic effect we never tire of
constant as the moon's phases................... Nice reference to white horses and I
particularly like this stanza.
Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Hi Jackarrie, this is a lovely free verse with good descriptive content. You describe this place in Ireland very well. Well written and I can see no way that it could be bettered. You make the place sound very appealing. the mistress of the night enters into view', good use of metaphor regarding the moon.
to sit and watch
the wild sea crashing against the cliffs
roaring loudly as each white horse
tumbles and unfurls its majestic wave
swirling tirelessly through time
a hypnotic effect we never tire of
constant as the moon's phases................... Nice reference to white horses and I
particularly like this stanza.
Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Dorothy I appreciate your welcome review and pointing out the part you enjoyed most . Mary
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is well written my friend very descriptive beautiful imagery as it flows through the poem I have heard that Ireland is a beautiful place my father visited there 2 years ago I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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This is well written my friend very descriptive beautiful imagery as it flows through the poem I have heard that Ireland is a beautiful place my father visited there 2 years ago I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, I appreciate your welcome review and comments. Yes it is beautiful and I live in Cahore for 10 years, but now I am sharing my time between Spain and Ireland Mary
Comment from Dean Kuch
I can clearly see that, Mary.
Anyplace that can inspire someone to write a poem as beautifully well expressed as this is had to have been forever altered positively by simply being in its presence.
Bravo...
~Dean
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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I can clearly see that, Mary.
Anyplace that can inspire someone to write a poem as beautifully well expressed as this is had to have been forever altered positively by simply being in its presence.
Bravo...
~Dean
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Dean I appreciate your welcome review and comments. Mary
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What happened to your writing hand.
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Dyslexia is acting up again...
Comment from Pantygynt
There is always a tendency to let the clinical details creep into descriptive writing and sometimes we can get tangled in our own web. This has happened in a couple of places here though generally this is a charming poem that wakes us to the beauty of a place, that quite clearly you find entrancing.
The second stanza in trying to cope with the bird song gets a bit lost.
"...harmoniously the sounds of birds sing" This line doesn't actually make sense. "Birds singing" or "bird song" might
"as they swing on fine branches" A good line but would the alliteration of "bare branches" or "budded branches" be even more descriptive?
"singing delightful melodious songs" We have had a lot of "sing" words. Are there others perhaps "chirping/tweeting/piping melodiously perhaps might ring the changes.
"a hypnotic effect we never tire of" I like the idea of hypnotism but then with "effect" it becomes clinically scientific "entranced and hypnotized" perhaps might take us out of the laboratory.
Lambs are baby sheep so we really don't need the baby bit. "Tiny" is good and perhaps "bleating" tells us more of what they are doing.
The consonance of nature/teacher in the last two lines is great.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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There is always a tendency to let the clinical details creep into descriptive writing and sometimes we can get tangled in our own web. This has happened in a couple of places here though generally this is a charming poem that wakes us to the beauty of a place, that quite clearly you find entrancing.
The second stanza in trying to cope with the bird song gets a bit lost.
"...harmoniously the sounds of birds sing" This line doesn't actually make sense. "Birds singing" or "bird song" might
"as they swing on fine branches" A good line but would the alliteration of "bare branches" or "budded branches" be even more descriptive?
"singing delightful melodious songs" We have had a lot of "sing" words. Are there others perhaps "chirping/tweeting/piping melodiously perhaps might ring the changes.
"a hypnotic effect we never tire of" I like the idea of hypnotism but then with "effect" it becomes clinically scientific "entranced and hypnotized" perhaps might take us out of the laboratory.
Lambs are baby sheep so we really don't need the baby bit. "Tiny" is good and perhaps "bleating" tells us more of what they are doing.
The consonance of nature/teacher in the last two lines is great.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, I appreciate your comments, and will rethink about what I will do. Mary
Comment from Doc Holiday
Sounds like a beautiful place to experience. Thanks for sharing it's wonder and beauty with us. We really need to have a refuge like this in our minds to retreat to on our stressful times in life. Your poem brings out the majestic color and setting of this small fishing village. Well-done!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Sounds like a beautiful place to experience. Thanks for sharing it's wonder and beauty with us. We really need to have a refuge like this in our minds to retreat to on our stressful times in life. Your poem brings out the majestic color and setting of this small fishing village. Well-done!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Doc Holiday I appreciate your welcome review and comments. Mary
Comment from Bobbi22
Cahore sounds like a beautiful place. The descriptive imagery in your poem brings the reader there to feel the same enchantment that you felt when you were there. Very well written. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Cahore sounds like a beautiful place. The descriptive imagery in your poem brings the reader there to feel the same enchantment that you felt when you were there. Very well written. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Hi
Thanks for the excellent review, yes It is a place of natural beauty. Mary