Luna's Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "A Diamante in the Rough"a place to gather my poetic forms
27 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
How about The imminence, fascinating, scary castle that was across the lake from the sunny, cozy, inviting, cottage. Maybe you could come up with an acronym for it.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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How about The imminence, fascinating, scary castle that was across the lake from the sunny, cozy, inviting, cottage. Maybe you could come up with an acronym for it.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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You're too funny. That's all I have to say! LOL *smile*
JLM
Comment from estory
This is an interesting form and I think you did a pretty good job in it. nice alliterations , all those "k" sounds, and "haunting faschinating disturbing' was nice. a little spooky. you convoluted it nicely into a cottage. interesting that the cottage was warm and welcoming, in contrast. could use a little more music in line three I think. but the images were good and I liked the way you picked "castle" and "cottage" to contrast and yet remain connected through those 'k" sounds. as for a title; maybe Home? what do you think? estory
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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This is an interesting form and I think you did a pretty good job in it. nice alliterations , all those "k" sounds, and "haunting faschinating disturbing' was nice. a little spooky. you convoluted it nicely into a cottage. interesting that the cottage was warm and welcoming, in contrast. could use a little more music in line three I think. but the images were good and I liked the way you picked "castle" and "cottage" to contrast and yet remain connected through those 'k" sounds. as for a title; maybe Home? what do you think? estory
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Thank you for your read and review, estory. I'll take your idea for a title and put it with the others to be chosen today or tomorrow.
JLM
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I haven't a clue! But, I like it anyway. Those in the castle are looking down on all the others as they become less and less affluent. Right down to the humble cottage, which, I hasten to add, is my dream to live in one day! :) Well done, and I will watch to see if you do get another title! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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I haven't a clue! But, I like it anyway. Those in the castle are looking down on all the others as they become less and less affluent. Right down to the humble cottage, which, I hasten to add, is my dream to live in one day! :) Well done, and I will watch to see if you do get another title! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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I've got about 6 or 7 which I'm going to choose from tonight or tomorrow...all of them are good ones. Thanks for reading and your interesting review.
JLM
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hey, no worries, Jeni.
I'm glad I could be of some assistance in some small way.
--The Curious Castle
--Castle Curious
--A Castle Keep
--Cottage Rottage
--A Diamante in the Rough
...just to name a few...
An...interesting and intriguing form of poetry to say the least, Jeni.
~Dean
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Hey, no worries, Jeni.
I'm glad I could be of some assistance in some small way.
--The Curious Castle
--Castle Curious
--A Castle Keep
--Cottage Rottage
--A Diamante in the Rough
...just to name a few...
An...interesting and intriguing form of poetry to say the least, Jeni.
~Dean
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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hmmm, I kind of like the last one...I'm going to put it on the pile with the rest and pick later today. Thanks to you for reading and reviewing my poem, Dean. Believe it or not, it is a standard form, not one invented by a writer! I've always looked at it and wanted to do it. I was lazy today and said, "I'll do that." Well, it turned out to be right hard to do! Certainly surprised this hippie chick.
light and love,
jeni
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You're welcome as always, Jeni.
Warmest wishes. ;)
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a beautiful example of the style which is well constructed for it actually takes on the diamond shape like it is supposed to do. Your approach here is very creative to start with a castle and end with a cottage - clever as most folks will pick either living or warm fuzzy nouns to evoke emotion and you do it with buildings :). The only thing I kept thinking of while reading it was "there's no place like home". I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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This is a beautiful example of the style which is well constructed for it actually takes on the diamond shape like it is supposed to do. Your approach here is very creative to start with a castle and end with a cottage - clever as most folks will pick either living or warm fuzzy nouns to evoke emotion and you do it with buildings :). The only thing I kept thinking of while reading it was "there's no place like home". I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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I LIKE that title! And I'm happy that you read my diamante and thought that it displayed the diamond shape; I wasn't sure! I'm flattered with your kind words, and thank you for your continuing support!
love and light,
jeni
Comment from valmay
What about Hearts Home or Home of my heart? Maybe you've already decided. Maybe where will I chose? You obviously like the cottage but I liked your description of the castle
Good luck.
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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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What about Hearts Home or Home of my heart? Maybe you've already decided. Maybe where will I chose? You obviously like the cottage but I liked your description of the castle
Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Dear Valmay, thank you for the name suggestion; I'm going to wait for a bit to see if I receive more suggestions and then decide from what I have. I did like yours, though. Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem.
love and light,
jeni
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written diamanté poem. The differences between a castle and a cottage is huge and I would prefer a cottage life far above any castle.
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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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A very well-written diamanté poem. The differences between a castle and a cottage is huge and I would prefer a cottage life far above any castle.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2017
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Did you just see my review of your antonym poem -- we must have been posting at the very same time! Thanks for reading and reviewing, Sandra.
love and light,
jeni
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Yes, I read your review just after I reviewed your diamante. Lol.
