Luna's Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Conversation with my Maker"a place to gather my poetic forms
28 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yeah. Find some deer to feast upon, or perhaps a few wolves, and leave those poor townsfolk alone!
That's all I gotta say to you, Maker!
I read your author's notes, Jeni, and you seem to have adhered to the form as it's described there quite well.
I know about as much about a sestina as I do about taking a good siesta, which is not all that much as you might imagine.
But I do know what I like when I read it.
I certainly enjoyed this.
Powerfully dark, wonderfully well presented.
Bravo!
~Dean :}
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Yeah. Find some deer to feast upon, or perhaps a few wolves, and leave those poor townsfolk alone!
That's all I gotta say to you, Maker!
I read your author's notes, Jeni, and you seem to have adhered to the form as it's described there quite well.
I know about as much about a sestina as I do about taking a good siesta, which is not all that much as you might imagine.
But I do know what I like when I read it.
I certainly enjoyed this.
Powerfully dark, wonderfully well presented.
Bravo!
~Dean :}
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
Comment from pit viper
Excellent poem, and I was touched by your bio about your son Mickey. I am new to this site- actually I joined a year ago, but didn't start posting and participating until a few months ago, and I'm really enjoying the feedback and the community here. I can really relate to your situation. My son Basil, age 25, is schizophrenic and drug-addicted, recently released from prison. I know your pain. Although I have two other boys, one older than Basil and one younger, he is the one who struggles the most, and he is the one who breaks my heart the most. As you said about Mickey, every poem I write is dedicated to him. Every poem I write is a means of working through the pain I feel for him. I am so sorry you lost your boy. You are an excellent writer, and your writing is a lovely tribute to him. Sincerely, - Heather (Pit Viper)
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Excellent poem, and I was touched by your bio about your son Mickey. I am new to this site- actually I joined a year ago, but didn't start posting and participating until a few months ago, and I'm really enjoying the feedback and the community here. I can really relate to your situation. My son Basil, age 25, is schizophrenic and drug-addicted, recently released from prison. I know your pain. Although I have two other boys, one older than Basil and one younger, he is the one who struggles the most, and he is the one who breaks my heart the most. As you said about Mickey, every poem I write is dedicated to him. Every poem I write is a means of working through the pain I feel for him. I am so sorry you lost your boy. You are an excellent writer, and your writing is a lovely tribute to him. Sincerely, - Heather (Pit Viper)
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's creepy. The thought of a vampire wanting to populate the world with more of her kind gives me the willies. I think the 'gift' would become a curse after a few years.
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That's creepy. The thought of a vampire wanting to populate the world with more of her kind gives me the willies. I think the 'gift' would become a curse after a few years.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
Comment from Sis Cat
While I am unfamiliar with the sestina form, I found this to be a strong, compelling poem of seduction by vampires. I just read Bram Stoker's Dracula for the first time last year, so I thought of that while I read your words, dark, haunting, and bloody. The Maker and the Makee are like a family of serial killers. You have a spectacular brooding mood and rhythm of stalking and feeding under the blood moon. Thank you for sharing and scaring.
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While I am unfamiliar with the sestina form, I found this to be a strong, compelling poem of seduction by vampires. I just read Bram Stoker's Dracula for the first time last year, so I thought of that while I read your words, dark, haunting, and bloody. The Maker and the Makee are like a family of serial killers. You have a spectacular brooding mood and rhythm of stalking and feeding under the blood moon. Thank you for sharing and scaring.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
Comment from DonandVicki
Hi Luna, this is the second of your work that I have been able to review since you returned, it seems that you haven't lost your touch. At first I thought that Dean had written this. Very well done.
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Hi Luna, this is the second of your work that I have been able to review since you returned, it seems that you haven't lost your touch. At first I thought that Dean had written this. Very well done.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
Comment from jmcfadden1528
Another great one! I really liked how you addressed your "maker" throughout the poem. It aided in the eeriness of this poem. I believe it was about vampires unless there is a deeper meaning lol? You did a great job of putting yourselves in the character of your poem. Nice work!
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Another great one! I really liked how you addressed your "maker" throughout the poem. It aided in the eeriness of this poem. I believe it was about vampires unless there is a deeper meaning lol? You did a great job of putting yourselves in the character of your poem. Nice work!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good vampire poem, written I see from your notes before all horror poems were about vampires, proving that you are a vampire. If my name was Jeni Smoker I wouldn't call myself Luna.
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A very good vampire poem, written I see from your notes before all horror poems were about vampires, proving that you are a vampire. If my name was Jeni Smoker I wouldn't call myself Luna.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
Comment from tfawcus
My congratulations to you on making such a good poem out of this complex form. I have tried it once or twice and found that it takes quite a bit of patience to make the lines fall naturally into place as they do in yours. I thought "doth" was a little out of place in your second verse, being the only archaic usage in the whole poem, but otherwise a most enjoyable read and one to send shivers up the spine!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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My congratulations to you on making such a good poem out of this complex form. I have tried it once or twice and found that it takes quite a bit of patience to make the lines fall naturally into place as they do in yours. I thought "doth" was a little out of place in your second verse, being the only archaic usage in the whole poem, but otherwise a most enjoyable read and one to send shivers up the spine!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
