Comment from judiverse

Excellent

Such a wonderful idea for a nonet. You create a mood and atmosphere in this. The girl in this poem is in a straight tequila mood. She's "Lookin' for Love in All the Wrong Places." She's hoping some guy to take her mind off that old cowboy love. She "waltz Across Texas" to find him. Dime store lovin' is a great expression. You really managed to tell a story in your nine lines. Great work, and good luck in the contest. juldi

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016

judi, I'm so happy you liked this. I love that song. And I'm glad you liked my expression about "dime store lovin'". I appreciate your good luck wishes.

Happy holidays,

jeni

reply by judiverse on 17-Dec-2016

You're very welcome. Best wishes for a great holiday season. judi

Comment from CEO2020

Excellent

This nonet poem has meaning. I see a story flow from the words - like something came from nothing. A homeless girl in need of love and affection. Well done!

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016

I appreciate your viewpoint and kind words. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Happy holidays,

jeni

Comment from Fridayauthor

Excellent

This is a very easy poem to visualize, on a summer night, with barely a breeze, only crickets humming, a dusty road, lights of a honky-tonk up ahead, what the hell, nothin' else is happening. Why not?

Thanks for the fun night!

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016

I'll bet it was a fun night, I remember them well. I'm glad you appreciated my poem and thank you for reading and your kind words of review.

Happy holidays,

jeni

reply by Fridayauthor on 17-Dec-2016

Thanks! Your setting so reminded me of one of the few poems I've posted here...

WRONG SIDE OF THE HILL

Joe Bob was a busted condom, Sue Anne, a forgotten pill,
Born in a rented trailer, on the wrong side of the hill.

Jimmy Al O?Riley, taught me teenage sin,
Bent me over his Chevy truck, behind the ?Do Drop Inn.?

Long neck Bud in bottles, lined up two by two,
Followed up with gin shots, often quite a few.

Jim tipped his hat for Detroit, never said goodbye,
Same damn thing for what?s-his-name, that other drinking guy.

I got my act together, diapers did the trick,
That and hungry babies, and caring for ?em sick.

Raised the two together, put a third one in the ground,
Kept ahead of the repo man, who often came around.

Food stamps and blessed Jesus, and a part time job or three,
Got me through the lean years, taught me nothing comes for free.

Most troubles now behind me, and I can rock outside,
Dreaming dreams that never came, but pleased with them I tried.

Sue Anne's a dietician, Joe Bob . . . I?m just not sure,
I only know he dresses well, and they keep on paying more.

I still shop the thrift store, and often bake for three,
Sarah smiles at grandma, when she comes to visit me.

Gone?s the rented trailer, we all called home so long,
The kids bought me a double wide, where I can hum my song.

It?s only down the hollow, from where I spent my years,
Where I laughed my laughs, and had my fun,
And often shed my tears.

Here I?ll stay until the day, when Jesus has his will,
When they come to bury me, on the wrong side of the hill.

Comment from RGstar

Excellent

This reminds of the good old West. When cowboys were real cowboys. The whole write gives that John Wayne feel.
I think this competition is over, but , good write.
Have a good day.
Best wishes.
RGstar

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016

Oh, geez I didn't know the comp was over, but that's really okay. I enjoyed writing this and I'm really flattered that you mention John Wayne. I'm going to share this review with my husband, who is a die-hard John Wayne fan. He's always got his movies on the television.

Happy holidays,

jeni

reply by RGstar on 17-Dec-2016

No,No No...my mistake..its not over...Good chance :)
Best wishes.

Comment from EricBrady

Excellent

Sounds like someone is getting their kicks on route 66. An excellent nonet and a great entry for the contest. A young lady out to tickle her wild side a bit. I love the story that is told and I believe we have been in this mood at one time or another. Great presentation. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016

Thanks so much, Eric. I sure have been in this mood at one time or another, and country music often puts me in that mood again...especially music by the outlaw country boys!

Happy holidays,

jeni

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Expressive poetic portrait in fine nonet form. What a great presentation. I like how the voicing sounds like the POV diction of the protagonist. Well done. Especially good flow with enjambment. Fluid.
Good luck

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016

Dear rama devi, thank you once again for such a fine review. I'm really pleased that you thought this was done well, and liked the voicing sounds and the enjambment.

Always,

jeni

reply by rama devi on 17-Dec-2016

:-))))

Comment from padumachitta

Excellent

Hi I like the voice in this one. It stay consistant all the way through and boy howdy yup...know a few of thses and been there too...drove truck for years, as a woman in the early 80s...a female trucker...well...it was an interesting time..been a cowgirl as well...gotta tell ya...truck stops still do the best eggs and bacon...amoungst other things...

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016

Comment from sandy montgomery

Excellent

This poem definitely has personality. It had its own voice as I read it. I think it should do well in yhe contest. It's got a great vibe
Thank you for sharing your work

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016

Comment from Ogden

Excellent

An excellent nonet, Jeni! And quite an unexpected voice for it, from a milieu perhaps not very often visited on FS. Very well-articulated! Good work.
Don

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

The sad part and risky nature of feeling desperate to be loved is that being loved, giving love and making love is not always related. Anyone can make love or have sex and call it love making. to give and receive love requires a commitment and a genuine desire to be real, to not have hidden agendas, to not have unreal expectations. It is pretty deep. I lost a daughter, my oldest a few years ago and not a day goes by that I don't miss her. I have her siblings and her two children in my life so it is not so bad, but to quote Prince, where she is concerned, "Nothing takes the place of you."

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016