Luna's Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "In Dreams"a place to gather my poetic forms
49 total reviews
Comment from Heather Knight
I love the rhythm you've created with the repetition in the last line of each stanza.
I also like the subject-matter. This seems to be a topic you favour: dreaming as a way to forget. But it seems this fails sometimes: the boogeyman inside our mind.
Thanks for sharing another lovely poem.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
  |
I love the rhythm you've created with the repetition in the last line of each stanza.
I also like the subject-matter. This seems to be a topic you favour: dreaming as a way to forget. But it seems this fails sometimes: the boogeyman inside our mind.
Thanks for sharing another lovely poem.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
Hi, my friend!
I'm glad you like the repeats in this poem and the subject matter is well.
These are indeed my favorite topics; in my dreams, anything is bound to happen...
I appreciate your continued attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
Comment from Dean Kuch
As I understand it from having to write one before, Luna, the Monotetra form is a fairly new poetic form developed by poet Michael Walker. Each stanza is required to contain four lines in monorhyme. Each line should also be written in tetrameter, for a total of eight syllables. What makes the Monotetra so powerful as a poetic form to me is that the last line contains two metrical feet, repeated. It can have as few as one or two stanzas, or as many as desired.
Stanza Structure:
Line 1: 8 syllables; A1
Line 2: 8 syllables; A2
Line 3: 8 syllables; A3
Line 4: 4 syllables, repeated; A4, A4
Yours is a lovely example, but I did stumble over one line, the third line, in stanza two I have highlighted it below for you:
"We may find beauty in our sleep
while o'er moonbeams we softly creep.
Feeling emotion oh, so deep,
we have to weep, we have to weep." ... It was the word "feeling" that threw the wonderful rhythm you'd created up to that point off for me a bit.
Consider, perhaps...
We may find beauty in our sleep
while o'er moonbeams we softly creep.
Rife with emotion oh, so deep,
we have to weep, we have to weep." ... I know. Seems like such a minor thing, doesn't it?
I did enjoy reading this poem in its entirety.
It is wonderfully well done.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
|
As I understand it from having to write one before, Luna, the Monotetra form is a fairly new poetic form developed by poet Michael Walker. Each stanza is required to contain four lines in monorhyme. Each line should also be written in tetrameter, for a total of eight syllables. What makes the Monotetra so powerful as a poetic form to me is that the last line contains two metrical feet, repeated. It can have as few as one or two stanzas, or as many as desired.
Stanza Structure:
Line 1: 8 syllables; A1
Line 2: 8 syllables; A2
Line 3: 8 syllables; A3
Line 4: 4 syllables, repeated; A4, A4
Yours is a lovely example, but I did stumble over one line, the third line, in stanza two I have highlighted it below for you:
"We may find beauty in our sleep
while o'er moonbeams we softly creep.
Feeling emotion oh, so deep,
we have to weep, we have to weep." ... It was the word "feeling" that threw the wonderful rhythm you'd created up to that point off for me a bit.
Consider, perhaps...
We may find beauty in our sleep
while o'er moonbeams we softly creep.
Rife with emotion oh, so deep,
we have to weep, we have to weep." ... I know. Seems like such a minor thing, doesn't it?
I did enjoy reading this poem in its entirety.
It is wonderfully well done.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
Hey my friend,
You're absolutely right as to the origin and mechanics of the Monotetra, one of my favorite forms in which to write.
I'm happy you enjoyed the poem, and also, I made your suggested change. It only made the poem better.
I appreciate your continued attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
-
The pleasure was all mine, Luna.
Comment from foxangie123
Wow what a picture to start with and your piece of poetry is perfectly written to read and go with. One of my German Shepherds is named Luna. Love this. Please write many more ASAP.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
 |
Wow what a picture to start with and your piece of poetry is perfectly written to read and go with. One of my German Shepherds is named Luna. Love this. Please write many more ASAP.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
dear foxangie,
I'm touched by the gracious six stars you rated this poem. You liked the picture and the poem together, and I was hoping the reader would.
I appreciate you becoming a fan.
I appreciate your continued attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
-
You are the queen. Happy Thanksgiving.
Comment from crybry67
I really enjoyed reading this. Your use of rhyme is excellent, as are the rhythm and flow. I think my favorite line would have to be ' while o'er moonbeams we softly creep'.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
|
I really enjoyed reading this. Your use of rhyme is excellent, as are the rhythm and flow. I think my favorite line would have to be ' while o'er moonbeams we softly creep'.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
Hi, crybry67, thank you for reading my poem and telling me what you enjoyed about it! That's very helpful.
I appreciate your attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
Comment from Mastery
There are so many wonderful thoughts and images projected in this poetry, Margie> It is difficult to pick my favorites, but here they are:
"Then comes that lovely dream, of course,
We ride upon the wing-ed horse."
Wonderful writing again. I wish I had some sixes left.
Happy Thanksgiving. Bob
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
|
There are so many wonderful thoughts and images projected in this poetry, Margie> It is difficult to pick my favorites, but here they are:
"Then comes that lovely dream, of course,
We ride upon the wing-ed horse."
Wonderful writing again. I wish I had some sixes left.
Happy Thanksgiving. Bob
Comment Written 22-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
Dear Bob, thanks for the virtual six; I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this poem and showed me one of your favorite parts!
I truly appreciate you...
I appreciate your continued attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
Comment from WalkerMan
This well-constructed Monotetra presents several different kinds of dreams and their emotional effect in just enough detail to invoke mental pictures, while maintaining enough generality to let the reader relate it to his or her own dreams. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
|
This well-constructed Monotetra presents several different kinds of dreams and their emotional effect in just enough detail to invoke mental pictures, while maintaining enough generality to let the reader relate it to his or her own dreams. Nicely done.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
Dear WalkerMan,
I'm happy that you felt the reader could relate this poem to his/her own dreams. Thank you for the gracious review!
I appreciate your attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
-
You are welcome, Jeni. Good work always gets my attention. -- Mike
Comment from Thal1959
Excellent use of rhymes, and very eloquent expressions. Rhythm moves smoothly throughout the piece. examines both sides of the "dream" subject. Very well crafted from start to finish. Thanks.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
|
Excellent use of rhymes, and very eloquent expressions. Rhythm moves smoothly throughout the piece. examines both sides of the "dream" subject. Very well crafted from start to finish. Thanks.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
Dear Thal1959,
Thank you so very much for your awesome six-star review of my poem. I'm happy that you enjoyed it enough to give it this wonderful review and rating!
Again, I'm honored.
I appreciate your attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
-
You're very welcome.
Comment from KjSilver
Phantasmagoric. Softly creeping o'er moonbeams is a great image. Nice lines and rhythm. A beautiful piece of poetry. May the Pegasus carry us away from the Boogeyman.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
|
Phantasmagoric. Softly creeping o'er moonbeams is a great image. Nice lines and rhythm. A beautiful piece of poetry. May the Pegasus carry us away from the Boogeyman.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
Dear KjSilver,
I LOVE that word...phantasmagoric. Do you mind if I use it in my writing sometime in the future?
I loved your review.
I appreciate your attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
Comment from AnnaLinda
Luna,
I have never heard of the Monotetra form. You've composed
a lovely poem that has your readers dream and fly and hope
for all the best.
You did a wonderful job with your rhymes, imagery and
dreamy theme.
Linda
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
|
Luna,
I have never heard of the Monotetra form. You've composed
a lovely poem that has your readers dream and fly and hope
for all the best.
You did a wonderful job with your rhymes, imagery and
dreamy theme.
Linda
Comment Written 22-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
My friend Linda,
I should really put information about the poem in my author's notes so readers can judge for themselves if I complied with the intended structure of the form:
Thanks for your kind and gracious review!
I appreciate your continued attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
Comment from rjuselius
this is an outstanding piece of poetry dear jeni! the imagery is breathtaking and near to genius. the wording is just perfect!
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
|
this is an outstanding piece of poetry dear jeni! the imagery is breathtaking and near to genius. the wording is just perfect!
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 22-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
-
Dear Rebekka,
I'm overwhelmed by this amazing review. Six-stars...there was a time when that rating was unattainable for me and I am happy that you enjoyed the imagery and wording. Also, I am thankful for your gracious personal compliment!
I appreciate your continued attention to my work...Thanks to the moon and back!
