A Voice
free verse - equality70 total reviews
Comment from Sis Cat
A strong, much needed poem about support for equality. Your poem resonates now in the wake of so many shootings back-to-back. When will this all end? I do not know. You offer up your poem as a prayer of peace, giving me bit of balm on a horrible day.
Thank you for sharing and caring.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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A strong, much needed poem about support for equality. Your poem resonates now in the wake of so many shootings back-to-back. When will this all end? I do not know. You offer up your poem as a prayer of peace, giving me bit of balm on a horrible day.
Thank you for sharing and caring.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much. I hope your day gets better:)
Comment from rama devi
Powerfully voiced, dear. That shooting was horrendous. i cried hearing about it. Being in Southwest Florida at the time, it felt so close to home. Senseless violence happens every day somewhere in the world but this one was really drastic. Whew. Your poem captures the emotional intensity of that event well. I love the presentation too!
By way of critique, I personally did not like the reverse syntax in this line:
A voice
I have today
and a choice.
Idea:
I have a voice
today
and a choice.
I like the random rhyme here:
There was a time
(but no more),
I left my
voice
rotting at the door,
VERY POTENT LINE:
I won't be
silenced
by a waving hand
wielding a gun.
ME TOO:
I'll stand tall and strong
in support
of equality
Love the rhyme here too--giving almost a punctuation (exclamation) mark effect:
of every face,
the human race.
Bravo. A potent poem--and timely.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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Powerfully voiced, dear. That shooting was horrendous. i cried hearing about it. Being in Southwest Florida at the time, it felt so close to home. Senseless violence happens every day somewhere in the world but this one was really drastic. Whew. Your poem captures the emotional intensity of that event well. I love the presentation too!
By way of critique, I personally did not like the reverse syntax in this line:
A voice
I have today
and a choice.
Idea:
I have a voice
today
and a choice.
I like the random rhyme here:
There was a time
(but no more),
I left my
voice
rotting at the door,
VERY POTENT LINE:
I won't be
silenced
by a waving hand
wielding a gun.
ME TOO:
I'll stand tall and strong
in support
of equality
Love the rhyme here too--giving almost a punctuation (exclamation) mark effect:
of every face,
the human race.
Bravo. A potent poem--and timely.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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Thank you for your always helpful and honest review RD. As for syntax, I think we either love it or hate it. lol. I love it.
I went to my first ever Pride Festival last night. They handed out 49 ballooms. I was lucky enough to be a participant. The were in rainbow colors, one for each life taken in the Orlando shooting. We all released them at the same time. It was a touching moment.
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How wonderful you went to a pride festival and handed out ballons of all colors. Sounds like a powerful moment. Thanks for sharing. Warmly, rd
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
How very true. Why are we so judgemental and think we are better than someone who is different. And even if we judge, what good is the violence. I don't understand. Well written, the rhyme adds to this. Well done, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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How very true. Why are we so judgemental and think we are better than someone who is different. And even if we judge, what good is the violence. I don't understand. Well written, the rhyme adds to this. Well done, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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Thank you Debbie:)
Comment from Ann Dudley Duncan
My sentiments exactly! Time for us to take a stand against violence and I think it's great that you wrote down your feelings!
I would have liked to see more rhythm but the poem was excellent!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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My sentiments exactly! Time for us to take a stand against violence and I think it's great that you wrote down your feelings!
I would have liked to see more rhythm but the poem was excellent!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much:)
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:-)
Comment from cterp
The shooting at the club in Orlando prompted me to dust off a poem I wrote about the shooting at Mother Emmanuel AME Church on 7/15/15 and enter it into the colors contest (it has references to red, white, and blue). So I identify with you on this matter.
Keep posting. I'll keep reading.
chris
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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The shooting at the club in Orlando prompted me to dust off a poem I wrote about the shooting at Mother Emmanuel AME Church on 7/15/15 and enter it into the colors contest (it has references to red, white, and blue). So I identify with you on this matter.
Keep posting. I'll keep reading.
chris
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2016
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I'll have to take a look at your poem. Thanks Chris for the great review:)
Comment from _Bean_
I love the message of equality that this poem is emitting. I also love how the character in the poem gets stronger as the poem continues on. It flows beautifully. Great job!
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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I love the message of equality that this poem is emitting. I also love how the character in the poem gets stronger as the poem continues on. It flows beautifully. Great job!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Thanks Bean:)
Comment from Muffins
This poem speaks volumes considering what's going on this week. The narrative speaks with fearless proud and value. When we value our live some people can't stand it.
Wonderful poem, so timely.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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This poem speaks volumes considering what's going on this week. The narrative speaks with fearless proud and value. When we value our live some people can't stand it.
Wonderful poem, so timely.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Yes, even though it was written last month after the Orlando shootings, it is very fitting for all that is going on right now. Thanks so much for the special gift of the six!
Comment from JW
It is such a tragic shame that so many this days feel the only way their voice can be heard is if their hand is holding a gun. Today's event in Dallas only emphasized this.
Thanks for sharing your poem. JW
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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It is such a tragic shame that so many this days feel the only way their voice can be heard is if their hand is holding a gun. Today's event in Dallas only emphasized this.
Thanks for sharing your poem. JW
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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That's for sure. Thanks JW:)
Comment from dragonpoet
This tells of a strong person, woman, if you take the artwork into account. It seems she is tired of being quiet and wants the status quo to change. Equality is something all should have and it is sad that it hasn't happened yet.
Keep writng
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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This tells of a strong person, woman, if you take the artwork into account. It seems she is tired of being quiet and wants the status quo to change. Equality is something all should have and it is sad that it hasn't happened yet.
Keep writng
dragonpoet
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Thank you dragonpoet:)
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No problem.
dragonpoet
Comment from mvbrooks
I especially liked your statement "of every face, the human race." In fact, there is only one race--the human race. All other "race divisions" are artificially created to sort people.
It's sad that since you were inspired to write this, more American deaths have been brought about by more Americans. I join you in your attempts to not "be silenced."
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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I especially liked your statement "of every face, the human race." In fact, there is only one race--the human race. All other "race divisions" are artificially created to sort people.
It's sad that since you were inspired to write this, more American deaths have been brought about by more Americans. I join you in your attempts to not "be silenced."
Comment Written 08-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2016
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Terrible tragedies happening. All have been wrong. More shootings aren't going to help anything. Thanks so much for the great review:)