Comment from Lovinia

Excellent

HI Mikey

Highly entertaining with that TWIST!. I didn't spot any spag or typos. Your story read smooth and provided the tension expected, though not necessarily required in flash fiction. You've cut your story to the bone and delivered a well written nasty crime piece of work. Well done. Hugs - Lovi xoxox

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016

Hi there. Catching up still. Thanks a million. Isn't she a trooper. :)) mikey

Comment from Nika2016

Excellent

The story is great, but a little confusing with the twist which was intentional. When three women disappeared in Yosemite for real, I drew a picture of the killer and sent it to the FBI. The same man was arrested and tried for murder...Cary Stayner. This was the second time I did this.
Good job..Cahill.

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016

Wow. Some real life to add to this. Good for you. I recall that case I believe. I'm a California boy. I've been to Yosemite many times. How awful to think of such heinous things amidst such beauty. Thank you, mikey

reply by Nika2016 on 30-Jun-2016

Seems to destroy the innocence doesn't it?

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016

Yes. It surely does.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Mikey,

I have to say I love your name choices. Crack me up.

Good practice piece you have got in here. Keeping it stripped down and simple, something I struggle with to be honest! LOL

Nicely done
G

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016

I'm the wordiest person in the galaxy. I'm getting better though. A good form. mikey

Comment from nordicgirl

Exceptional

See, you have no problem writing a conventional story in a normal format. I know you have a shy spot for this type of wri th ibg, but this was great, Mike. I was surprised as can be by th ending. Yop notch. Just like a real writer! Ha! NG

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016

Ha! Well, I prefer what I like to write. BUT no one understands a damn word I say, so I guess I'll just retire. LOL
I don't have any heart for this stuff and I'm just mediocre at best. Wanna hear anymore? You're too sweet. I'm glad you liked this. It's not terrible I guess. Thank you. michellu

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

I love the surprise ending here, my friend. Glad that one didn't get away. Pretty feisty for a little gal. Your story is well written with all of the required elements. Way to go, mikey~Debbie

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016

Love them feisty little gals. :)) Glad you enjoyed, mikey

Comment from damommy

Excellent

What a name - Dogbert Balderfinfarm. LOL

I was really feeling sorry for his injuries, and I thought Laura was really worried about him because she cared. What a surprise you gave me at the end. The Redwood Rapist.

Great story that captured my attention right off. Thank you. 8-)

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016

So pleased you got a kick out of it. No idea where that crazy name came from. Well, my crazy brain I suppose. LOL mikey

reply by damommy on 30-Jun-2016

I love odd names. With a name like mine, I'd have to. My full name is
Mignon Yvonne Uzzell. If you say it just right, it sounds like a Chinese food. LOL. 8-)

reply by Anonymous Member on 05-Jul-2016

I love odd names. With a name like mine, I'd have to. My full name is
Mignon Yvonne Uzzell. If you say it just right, it sounds like a Chinese food. LOL. 8-)

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

Ha.
You fooled me again. I always get pulled in and then zap you show up with a twist.
Dogbert was the bad guy, not her boyfriend. He attacked her and she shoved him down the embankment.

I didn't see any corrections. Just a damn brilliant post.

:) ellen

Oh, do we have a prompt for potlatch practice. I guess I'd better check ...

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 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016

Jeesh. I'm miles behind and catching up. Been a little ill.
Glad you liked this. I even liked it a little. LOL mikey

Comment from zekeziemann

Excellent

Clever story and well written. Shouldn't the last line read, "Dammit WOMAN, you're my hero, that's for sure." Just caught my eye.

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 Comment Written 23-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016

Oh, yes. Good catch, you're right. Sorry to be so late. I've been sick. Great review. Thanks, mikey