Not Sure Yet
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "My Dream Job"Free verse poems
30 total reviews
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Carol,
wow this is so whimsical and relaxing. Your words are amazing and the flow of the rhythm and rhyme are perfect. I wish someone could read this to me so I can close my eyes and just go with the flow.
Great poem.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Hi Carol,
wow this is so whimsical and relaxing. Your words are amazing and the flow of the rhythm and rhyme are perfect. I wish someone could read this to me so I can close my eyes and just go with the flow.
Great poem.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Yes, it is whimsical, isn't it? It could almost be real, once I retire :)
hugs,
Carol
Comment from tony bronk
Wowweee! This is one of the most creative poems that I have read in a very long time. Your world certainly seems like it would be complete and very satisfying. Exceptional write! Tony
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Wowweee! This is one of the most creative poems that I have read in a very long time. Your world certainly seems like it would be complete and very satisfying. Exceptional write! Tony
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Thanks so much, Tony! It's just a dream, but not too far from what could become reality :)
Carol
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, Carol - haven't seen you around in a while.
This is a marvellous, atmospheric poem evoking the beauty of natural surroundings. If this is indeed where you live and work, then I envy you immensely.
Where to start? The colours perhaps - obviously very important to the poem, each one developed in multiple shades, beautifully expressed.
Then the sounds of this - lots of alliteration and other aural devices, too numerous to mention, for example, the predominance of long E sounds in the middle section.
A few of my favourite lines (among many)
Whisper-light, this evening breeze
slipping soft like yellow leaves
tumbled light through
jumbled scrum and scree
the day leaps in nectar
my business is calling the wind
Better stop before I put the whole thing in!
Should have saved this one up for fee verse contest.
Steve
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016
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Hi, Carol - haven't seen you around in a while.
This is a marvellous, atmospheric poem evoking the beauty of natural surroundings. If this is indeed where you live and work, then I envy you immensely.
Where to start? The colours perhaps - obviously very important to the poem, each one developed in multiple shades, beautifully expressed.
Then the sounds of this - lots of alliteration and other aural devices, too numerous to mention, for example, the predominance of long E sounds in the middle section.
A few of my favourite lines (among many)
Whisper-light, this evening breeze
slipping soft like yellow leaves
tumbled light through
jumbled scrum and scree
the day leaps in nectar
my business is calling the wind
Better stop before I put the whole thing in!
Should have saved this one up for fee verse contest.
Steve
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016
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Hey Steve,
I've been around off and on... :)
Thank you for such a stunning review, I love that you call it atmospheric. I don't actually live in this place, but I used to live close enough to drive down for a long day, or a weekend. Retirement plans mean moving back up to area - far Northern California.
Carol
Comment from William Ross
this a nice 3 part poem with great rhyming, makes a wonderful story and read. very nice job, between you and Deans help. Great work, have a wonderful day
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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this a nice 3 part poem with great rhyming, makes a wonderful story and read. very nice job, between you and Deans help. Great work, have a wonderful day
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Thank you William, it was a fun and satisfying project. Dean taught me how to save with the music playing - he's amazing!
Carol
Comment from MacMhuirich
What a wonderful whimsical journey of words and imagery, well written in lilting phrases. Land and sea lauded in all it's glory for us to savour. Fabulous picture to top it all off. Thank you for sharing.
Bless you
John
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016
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What a wonderful whimsical journey of words and imagery, well written in lilting phrases. Land and sea lauded in all it's glory for us to savour. Fabulous picture to top it all off. Thank you for sharing.
Bless you
John
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016
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Thanks so much, John, I took that picture up on a high ridge overlooking the ocean - a view I knew you'd admire!
hugs,
Carol
Comment from Douglas Paul
This does sound like you, Carol. You do have a special mystical ability to hear nature's call and then express it in your poetry. This is pleasant read with strong imagery
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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This does sound like you, Carol. You do have a special mystical ability to hear nature's call and then express it in your poetry. This is pleasant read with strong imagery
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Thank you, Douglas :)
Carol
Comment from I am Cat
WOW! Oh how I wish I had a six for this! I believe (as far as I can remember)
this is my favorite piece you've written!
It's so whimsically amazing! Well done! (I had to mute the music as it scared the pee out of me... that must be what Dean helped you with) lol
But this part:
I'll greet friends: Madrone, Wild Rose,
Ceanothus, hawks and crows -
my name is Kalola-Wailaki -
my throat is the whiskey-clear creek
tumbled light through
jumbled scrum and scree
my soul is every fathom of the
wide, white sea
my love lives in long, greenish gleams
and arching streams
pouring crytal-pure and fair
to beaches hung with maiden hair
lonely beaches
sea lions run down
the cusp of nowhere.
I absolutely love this part! (should that be crytal-pure? or crystal-pure?)
lovely! just amazingly lovely!)
And the ending... just topped it off... just so full of GREAT stuff, Carol...
I absolutely loved it. Well done!
A virtual 10!
Cat
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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WOW! Oh how I wish I had a six for this! I believe (as far as I can remember)
this is my favorite piece you've written!
It's so whimsically amazing! Well done! (I had to mute the music as it scared the pee out of me... that must be what Dean helped you with) lol
But this part:
I'll greet friends: Madrone, Wild Rose,
Ceanothus, hawks and crows -
my name is Kalola-Wailaki -
my throat is the whiskey-clear creek
tumbled light through
jumbled scrum and scree
my soul is every fathom of the
wide, white sea
my love lives in long, greenish gleams
and arching streams
pouring crytal-pure and fair
to beaches hung with maiden hair
lonely beaches
sea lions run down
the cusp of nowhere.
I absolutely love this part! (should that be crytal-pure? or crystal-pure?)
lovely! just amazingly lovely!)
And the ending... just topped it off... just so full of GREAT stuff, Carol...
I absolutely loved it. Well done!
A virtual 10!
Cat
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Wow, thank YOU, Cat, I think I must have been channeling you when I wrote this - because you are so very good at this type of 'stream of consciousness' free verse with scattered rhyme. I'm so happy to see your words here as I poured my heart and soul into this one - describing my favorite part of the world and a dream I have of someday having a place there. It's where I would (and someday will) scatter some precious ashes that I have.
Oh, yes - crystal is the word I meant to use! Lol. thank you!
Hugs :)))
Carol
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I absolutely loved it, Carol... tell me, were you listening to heavy metal at the time? LOL ;) Well done!
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No, I was listening to Big Bud! Atmospheric Drum-n-Bass music, my fave. Or one of them - that's what was playing, called "Way of Life" :)
Comment from Liberty Justice
"The wings of music in the trees," shows vivid appreciation of nature's calling. Seems like poet enjoys surroundings and describe taste, sound, and sight
of views in perfect rhythm. liberty justice
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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"The wings of music in the trees," shows vivid appreciation of nature's calling. Seems like poet enjoys surroundings and describe taste, sound, and sight
of views in perfect rhythm. liberty justice
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Yes, most certainly :)
thanks, Liberty!
Carol
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Carol
= This is a neat description of what you do in your work, via images from nature.
= At least, I'm interpreting this poem to your forecasting.
= I'll admit my brain is a bit fried from trimming shrubs, so if I screwed up, I do apologize.
= Great work. I enjoyed the read.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =:=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Hi, Carol
= This is a neat description of what you do in your work, via images from nature.
= At least, I'm interpreting this poem to your forecasting.
= I'll admit my brain is a bit fried from trimming shrubs, so if I screwed up, I do apologize.
= Great work. I enjoyed the read.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =:=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2016
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Well, it's not what I actually do, but what I'd dream of spending my days doing...Lol. Not yet! Eight more years to go (sigh!)
hugs,
Carol
Comment from royowen
What a lovely, meandering work, that takes one on a journey of visual, sensual, connecting it to the spiritual, then back to realty's consciousness. Then on to the ultimate purpose, at least for me, a literary transportation into and on into human expression. Well done, great great sensual imagery, Carol, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016
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What a lovely, meandering work, that takes one on a journey of visual, sensual, connecting it to the spiritual, then back to realty's consciousness. Then on to the ultimate purpose, at least for me, a literary transportation into and on into human expression. Well done, great great sensual imagery, Carol, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016
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Thanks Roy :)
Carol
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Most welcome Carol,