Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

VERY nicely done, Craig, a romantic story for sure, but not one we expected...lol. The double sonnet is an ambitious project, but I see you've met it with a stylish step. My only suggestion is in the first line of S3,
"Yet, Carmen, she is also lovely too" - here also and too are redundant
you could do something like "Yet, Carmen, she's a lovely lady too" (?)

Otherwise, I love it. After Romeo has had his due, Juliet chimes in and the story slowly devolves away from the olden times as we find her at "the store" (Pier 1?)
There she meets Carmen, and the real love story begins! Romeo can find his way to the door :)
VERY nice, you might have another winner here!
Carol

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

Well, at the moment I think I'm ahead of all the competition! (Largely because it's the only entry) ;-)

Thanks for the lovely review, Carol - and thanks for picking up that redundancy for me - I'll get onto that right now!

Craig

reply by ciliverde on 06-Apr-2016

Hey, that's the way to win a contest! I got second place in a ski race once...two competitors...
Just kidding you ;)

Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

Well written tongue in cheek portrayal of the old tale Romeo and Juliet. I think it is done well and that you followed the format very well. I haven't attempted a sonnet yet.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

Thanks, Jusylee, for the kind review. You really should try it - I hadnt until a month or so ago. I'm finding it to be a fun form :)

Craig

Comment from Lannell912

Excellent

I love it . For the first time I could get a little ROMEO and JULIET in a totally feel it.
You spoke in my language simply put I WANTED more and that is what we aim for so you nail it .The twist at the end kick it into the 21 century keep up the good work. Your Friend Lannell912 PRA4ME

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

Thanks, Lanell912, for the lovely review. Your generous remarks are much appreciated :) Craig

Comment from darkmoonbaby

Excellent

The poem is well written and it appears to follow the rules of the contest. I saw no errors or mistakes. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

DMB

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

Thanks for the kind comment and the good wishes. Craig

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Haaaaa, this is a brilliant double sonnet, Craig. It's a little risque, a little funny and a whole lot of big time fun. Perfect meter and rhyme.

And now I am feeling sorry for poor old Romeo with no space on the bed between Carmen and Juliet.

Lovely job and best wishes to you in the contest.

Gloria

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 Comment Written 06-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

Thanks Gloria :) I feel kind of sorry for him too! Much appreciated, Craig.

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Hi Craig,

My head is reeling from the laundry list of rules for this contest. I'm glad it is you that entered and not me lol It looks like you were more than up for the task, though :) (I didn't run through the checklist, but it looks good to me lol)

Poor Romeo... I think he double dipped himself right out of the romance...

Good luck in the contest :)

Kim

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 Comment Written 06-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016

It seems that way! Thanks Kim :)