Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

That is revenge of a different kind use the brother of the one who treat you wrong. Save the brother from getting killed so that they have to face each other and one of them must pay for your murder.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2016

Comment from Debra White

Excellent

Hi Dawn :)
I enjoyed this... You packed so much into just 200 words.
A very well written shorty that had me hooked from the start :)
Kindest regards as always, Debra

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2016

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

This is good, well written one always has to watch their back when they want to have an affair, they never know who's watching. Great job. Thanks for sharing and have a great day.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2016

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

When I started reading, I thought this would be about your downstairs 'neighbour from hell', Dawn. ;-)

Excellent short story with the clever twist of an 'impersonation double' - his brother - for the rotten hubby who had neglected you for so long.

This could be the start of a longer story, as you leave the ending open...often a good thought-provoking tactic.

Hey, maybe he had YOUR SISTER with him. Hahaha!

Cheers, Ray xx

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016

LOL, Ray - funny you should say that - he's been SOMEWHAT better (after more calls from the landlord) but tonight has been hellish again with cigarette smoke - last couple of times it was his ganja, but it's not every day anymore, at least. ...sigh...

Thanks so much for these encouraging remarks - 'Noir' is a favourite genre of mine, but to read - I'm not often up to trying to write it.

I like the idea of expanding it, but I doubt I'll get to it anytime soon - SO much that's neglected already, and it is a VERY challenging genre for me. But you see how much your encouraging comments mean? Thank you!

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

A pretty creepy scenario here! Your depiction of the silhouette in the window sets the scene nicely and you use your very limited amount of words well to add the macabre twist that gives interest. Good writing!

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 Comment Written 07-Feb-2016

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Dawn,

this is kind of bizarre. I was just thinking you hadn't wrote much prose recently and then this pops up!

I enjoyed this tale of revenge, love, hatred, infidelity, and premeditated murder. All in only 200 words as well.

Good tone to the piece. It absolves assigning blame to anyone. It is what it is, and come what may.

Great stuff
G

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 Comment Written 07-Feb-2016