Comment from jlsavell

Excellent

W.j debi, my hats off to you for executing such a strict form! Strict fotms of poetry scare me, I am so inept at meter, measure and rhythmn. Lol..yet I love music and can actually pick up its beat. Go figure.

Love the storyline. You must write a sequel. Turn it into a big story!

jlsavell

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Hi jlsavell,

I appreciate the kind comments about writing and following the form. You have such a natural rhythm in your poetry that you don't need to worry about following any forms. I am pleased you loved the storyline and want a sequel. A couple people have mentioned that, and I love the the thought. Thank you for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate it!

Debi

Comment from RahulChadha

Excellent

Very beautifully written poem, perfectly put into words and expressed. If it is an entry for a contest, best of luck for it.:)))

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Thank you for the gracious comments about the writing. I appreciate the good luck wishes. There is a Kyrielle Sonnet contest at the moment, but I did not enter it. Thank you for taking time to read and review.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

A burst of flame. A wary glance.
The dragon queen is in her lair.


~~~Yes this is elegant and I love the art work
Es the Queen is in her lair
Well penned
God bless

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Hi kiwijenny,

Oh, elegant. I love that comment. Thanks for mentioning the artwork too. I think I took longer trying to find artwork that fit the mood and theme I wanted than I did writing the poem. Well, maybe not, but it felt like it. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate it.

Debi

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

Your kyrielle sonnet has something of the best of both forms. The couplet ties back beautifully to the first premise after the twist is introduced in the third quatrain, truly an echo of warning. A minor point of absolute pedantry - my old English master at school always insisted that 'shall' was the correct form for the first person (I/we), and that 'will' should be used for the second and third person. Having delivered this archaic gem, I shall go on to say that the soft alliteration of 'shall' and 'swell' seems to work better here! Perhaps a case for poetic licence! I couldn't help drawing a parallel between your elegant romance and the real world dragons spawning their monsters for us to slay.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Hi Tony,

I will have to remember that about "shall". I actually had "will" and changed it for the softer sound. I like that you mention the echo of warning given in the third stanza. I love that you called the piece an "elegant romance". Yes, sadly there do seem to be dragons to slay no matter the day and age.

Thank you for a gracious review and some interesting comments as well. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review. Thank you!

Debi

Comment from country ranch writer

Exceptional

everyone beware if she catches you near her lair you will not make it home you will be her mid day meal all roasted and toasted

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Hi country ranch writer,

Wow! Thank you for the six stars!! I love your comments. Yes, if anyone comes hunting her they are likely to be dinner. It saves her having to go look for food. Love the "roasted and toasted" comment. Thank you so much for dropping in to read and review. I appreciate it!!!

Debi

reply by country ranch writer on 13-Sep-2015

s m i l e s

Comment from LeannaP

Excellent

Hi there W.J. DEBI,
You have such an honest way
of giving off a wonderful message.
I also liked the fact that you chose
to use a black backdrop for the
scheme of this. My favorite line,
"An Evil monster , she must die"
Subtle first line, yet powerful and effective for the
end.-Leanna

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Hi Leanna,
Thank you for the great review. I appreciate the comments. I especially liked that statement about having an honest way of giving off a wonderful message. Thank you for mentioning the black backdrop. I went through several pictures and rejected them--one of a great dragon--but I wanted a dark feel to the poem and it just didn't fit the mood. Thanks for mentioning that first line that becomes part of the closing couplet. That can be the trickiest part of this form--getting it to make sense in both places. I appreciate you stopping by to read and give such a thoughtful review.
Debi

reply by LeannaP on 12-Sep-2015

Hi Debi!
your very welcome. No problem

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

Excellent job in keeping to the form.
Beautiful imagery and word choice.
Very descriptive lines with wonderful end rhyme. I enjoyed the repeating lines to end the poem with flair.
Nancy

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Hi Nancy,
Thank you for the great review. I am pleased that you enjoyed the poem. It is nice to be reviewed by someone who understands the form and hear that it works. Thank you!
Debi

Comment from Chuck23

Excellent

I enjoyed your sonnet! I appreciate the notes breaking down the type of poetry, as I'm not familiar with the Kyrielle. The image fits so perfect with this poem, they both compliment each other nicely.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Thank you for the kind comments. It took me a while to settle on the artwork so I appreciate you mentioning it. I am happy to hear you enjoyed the poem and that the notes were helpful. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review. Thank you!

Comment from JTStone

Excellent

Okay, I read it and loved it. That's why I gave you 5 stars.
But everything you wrote below the poem was in some strange language, Greek I think. I have no idea what a quatrain or a kyrielle might be. PS even spell check doesn't no kyrielle is...
I just thought the poem sounded good.
JT

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Hi JT.
Thank you for the excellent review and generous five stars. I put the technical information in the notes for those who want to know. Like you, I just know if a poem speaks to me or sounds good. The form is secondary. I am flattered that you liked this poem. Thank you so much for taking time to drop by to read and review.
Debi


If you are interested in knowing more about a Kyrielle Sonnet, there is currently a contest running for that particular form and it has both a description and examples. This poem is not in the contest, but there are a few that have already joined it.

Comment from Benjamin Valencia

Excellent

Hi W.J. Debi...This was a neat short gem you have here. "The dragon queen is in her lair." you echo these lines masterfully as you wove in the reflection of its danger and the outcome that the dragon must face. Excellent format and picture that captures the urgency of getting to the dragon. Cheers.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Thank you, Benjamin Valencia. I appreciate your encourging comments. I love that you found this "a neat short gem". I like that you seem to take the side of the dragon queen. She is so maligned in history, isn't she? LOL