Only in Australia
Blank Verse contest entry31 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
As an Aussie, of course I enjoyed this very much. But you do make them so interesting with your unique style, Steve. It is astounding that you would encounter pelicans in the desert. I guess they found a waterhole, albeit a temporary one, somewhere nearby to Lake Eyre. Giddy
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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As an Aussie, of course I enjoyed this very much. But you do make them so interesting with your unique style, Steve. It is astounding that you would encounter pelicans in the desert. I guess they found a waterhole, albeit a temporary one, somewhere nearby to Lake Eyre. Giddy
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Giddy.
The spot is not too far from the Thomson River, and near there it has water all year round. I'm just not quite sure why they had chosen to sleep on the road...
Steve
Comment from Wabigoon
Kiwisteveh
Somehow I wanted you to tie the pelicans or some aspect of your visit to Captain Starlight. Perhaps the Pelicans' sheer audacity for being in such an, apparently, waterless place. That desire was not quite fulfilled here which causes me to think a more casual approach to all of this might have been stronger.
Nice effort. It is good to get the feel for a foreign land, period.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Kiwisteveh
Somehow I wanted you to tie the pelicans or some aspect of your visit to Captain Starlight. Perhaps the Pelicans' sheer audacity for being in such an, apparently, waterless place. That desire was not quite fulfilled here which causes me to think a more casual approach to all of this might have been stronger.
Nice effort. It is good to get the feel for a foreign land, period.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Jeff.
I know exactly what you mean by wanting to connect the ending back to the beginning and Captain Starlight. I did think of that, but in the end I was a little rushed getting this finished and there was no obvious connection...
Steve
Comment from krys123
Steve;
-not only was I completely entertained but near the end I giggled and laughed and chuckled with exuberancy. I live near the ocean near Monterey Bay California and I see a lot of pelicans near the water but never have I heard of the pelican sleeping in the middle of a desert in the middle of the road. Your story was completely entertaining and I could see with this man had taken on an extraordinary feat even though wrong I could see where he was infamous for doing it.
-Your imagery was very extraordinarily expressive and so vividly and demonstratively descriptive that I had a beautiful mental image of the whole scene.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always Steve.
Alex
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Steve;
-not only was I completely entertained but near the end I giggled and laughed and chuckled with exuberancy. I live near the ocean near Monterey Bay California and I see a lot of pelicans near the water but never have I heard of the pelican sleeping in the middle of a desert in the middle of the road. Your story was completely entertaining and I could see with this man had taken on an extraordinary feat even though wrong I could see where he was infamous for doing it.
-Your imagery was very extraordinarily expressive and so vividly and demonstratively descriptive that I had a beautiful mental image of the whole scene.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always Steve.
Alex
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Alex.
Pelicans are wonderful birds. We were lucky enough to see them many times when we lived near the ocean in North Queensland.
Steve
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Steve, it must be beautiful there in Queensland. And you are so welcome
Comment from Leineco
Excellent use of blank verse format for story telling :)
It took a minute or two to for me to get into the rhythm. . .but once there, it read with smooth metered cadence :-)
And an thoroughly entertaining tale it turned out to be!!! (I've seen pelican's Jerry Lewis imitation when startled awake and set to run as they searched for cruising altitude wind. . .I can imagine in the "Queensland's dry and dusty heart"" in sunsets glorious blaze it must have been all the more comical. . .and yet awe inspiring in its way :-)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Excellent use of blank verse format for story telling :)
It took a minute or two to for me to get into the rhythm. . .but once there, it read with smooth metered cadence :-)
And an thoroughly entertaining tale it turned out to be!!! (I've seen pelican's Jerry Lewis imitation when startled awake and set to run as they searched for cruising altitude wind. . .I can imagine in the "Queensland's dry and dusty heart"" in sunsets glorious blaze it must have been all the more comical. . .and yet awe inspiring in its way :-)
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thank you!
I have had fun trying to picture pelicans imitating Jerry Lewis.....
Steve
Comment from Nosha17
An exciting trip of exploration into difficult terrain, you wouldn't get me going anywhere near there, snakes and insects, no thanks. I liked the history of the guy who charmed even the jury. Good descriptions of the landscape and the two lovely birds. I miss your rhymes, I am not very fond of blank verse. I am just being honest, you are a great rhyming poet. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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An exciting trip of exploration into difficult terrain, you wouldn't get me going anywhere near there, snakes and insects, no thanks. I liked the history of the guy who charmed even the jury. Good descriptions of the landscape and the two lovely birds. I miss your rhymes, I am not very fond of blank verse. I am just being honest, you are a great rhyming poet. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Faye.
Yes, this style is a bit different, isn't it? Don't worry, I'll be back to my rhyming soon!
Steve
Comment from RGstar
Steve, I have been away for a while, good to come back and smile a while. Good author's notes also.It is always good to read informative poetry. There are so many stories around the world untold. Good to read this.
Have a good day.
RGstar
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Steve, I have been away for a while, good to come back and smile a while. Good author's notes also.It is always good to read informative poetry. There are so many stories around the world untold. Good to read this.
Have a good day.
RGstar
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Ray - good to see you back. Did I see on the grapevine that you have been unwell? If so, I hope things are going better now.
Steve
Comment from JTStone
Personally I'm a Yank that loves everything Australian. I have been there so many times. Mostly around the Port Macquarie NSW area. But like most people not from down under, beyond Ned Kelly, I've never heard of any others.
Thanks for sharing the poem and the commentary.
I never got much into poetry, and blank verse is foreign to me. I was impressed with the story, sorry I couldn't give advice on the prose.
JT
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Personally I'm a Yank that loves everything Australian. I have been there so many times. Mostly around the Port Macquarie NSW area. But like most people not from down under, beyond Ned Kelly, I've never heard of any others.
Thanks for sharing the poem and the commentary.
I never got much into poetry, and blank verse is foreign to me. I was impressed with the story, sorry I couldn't give advice on the prose.
JT
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks, JT.
This one is mostly about the story and the slightly bizarre ending to our excursion - the poetry is just a by-product!
Steve
Comment from royowen
You're right about a lot of the famous sites in Australia Steve, they can be very desolate and disappointing places to visit, the US know how to cleverly utilise and embalm there famous, sites, with reverential awe! Great blank verse entry in this comp. The wording is very descriptive, on got a feeling of desolation, dust and lo and behold, pelicans who had lost there way! Well done, my friend, good luck, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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You're right about a lot of the famous sites in Australia Steve, they can be very desolate and disappointing places to visit, the US know how to cleverly utilise and embalm there famous, sites, with reverential awe! Great blank verse entry in this comp. The wording is very descriptive, on got a feeling of desolation, dust and lo and behold, pelicans who had lost there way! Well done, my friend, good luck, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Roy.
There may have been one little sign to tell you about the place, but apart from that it as a dead loss! Still, the pelicans made up for that!
Steve
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Well done Steve
Comment from Serendipity!
This is excellent. It is so cool reading poems and stories from 'down under'. So much about your country seems unusual compared to what I am used to and some of your writers here on FanStory have a great way of portraying it.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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This is excellent. It is so cool reading poems and stories from 'down under'. So much about your country seems unusual compared to what I am used to and some of your writers here on FanStory have a great way of portraying it.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I love unknown history as this is for me and I love the way you told it.
Rules of blank verse followed and the story told smoothly from start to finish with a beginning that caught my attention
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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I love unknown history as this is for me and I love the way you told it.
Rules of blank verse followed and the story told smoothly from start to finish with a beginning that caught my attention
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Barb - glad you enjoyed.
Steve