Snippets
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Modern Day Plight"A collection of 150 word, or less, short stories
24 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
Ironic, isn't it? The do-gooder Lefties incite Black people to violence and then blame it on the Whites-divisive politics arousing hatred and evil. Until that stops, it won't stop. Powerful story, hope it makes people sit up and take notice. Well written with punchy story line, aim to shock. Couple of things: Line 1 should read vim and vigour. Line 3, better to make it run-on sentence: news or what.........(can't start a sentence with Or) Enjoyable read, if it weren't so sad. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
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Ironic, isn't it? The do-gooder Lefties incite Black people to violence and then blame it on the Whites-divisive politics arousing hatred and evil. Until that stops, it won't stop. Powerful story, hope it makes people sit up and take notice. Well written with punchy story line, aim to shock. Couple of things: Line 1 should read vim and vigour. Line 3, better to make it run-on sentence: news or what.........(can't start a sentence with Or) Enjoyable read, if it weren't so sad. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 18-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Naxsc
A very thought provoking micro fiction. I enjoyed it immensely for the story it revealed in the end.
I appreciate the author's take on the subject. Clearly reveals that the author has put in his/her own thought and voice of opinion in this micro fiction.
The humanism of the story is greatly relieving, though the story focuses about the white lives lost in the end, from my view point the story is not about the whites, it is not about the blacks but it is all about human beings being controlled by their own choice of lifestyle.
This also brought into realization the cruelty of innocent lives becoming prey to misguided justice seekers.
No visible grammatical errors that I could find of, good punctuation and literature flow, great conveyance of a solid story as a micro fiction within 150 lines. Gets my vote!
All the best!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
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A very thought provoking micro fiction. I enjoyed it immensely for the story it revealed in the end.
I appreciate the author's take on the subject. Clearly reveals that the author has put in his/her own thought and voice of opinion in this micro fiction.
The humanism of the story is greatly relieving, though the story focuses about the white lives lost in the end, from my view point the story is not about the whites, it is not about the blacks but it is all about human beings being controlled by their own choice of lifestyle.
This also brought into realization the cruelty of innocent lives becoming prey to misguided justice seekers.
No visible grammatical errors that I could find of, good punctuation and literature flow, great conveyance of a solid story as a micro fiction within 150 lines. Gets my vote!
All the best!
Comment Written 18-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this one.
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My Pleasure! All the best!
Comment from benoenose
The writer is cautious of the existence of human living. In a context of dark and dim crime stories there seems little hope for human living. The culture of shock and terror engulfs the mind set of the people of every corner of the world.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
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The writer is cautious of the existence of human living. In a context of dark and dim crime stories there seems little hope for human living. The culture of shock and terror engulfs the mind set of the people of every corner of the world.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed this one.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This is a well written piece carrying an interesting social commentary.
I agree to a certain degree with sharing the blame. I think the issue sometimes is over the use of 'necessary force' rather than blame laying.
This certainly fits the prompt and all the words are there and well used in an unobtrusive manner.
Nicely done
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
|
Hi there,
This is a well written piece carrying an interesting social commentary.
I agree to a certain degree with sharing the blame. I think the issue sometimes is over the use of 'necessary force' rather than blame laying.
This certainly fits the prompt and all the words are there and well used in an unobtrusive manner.
Nicely done
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed this one.