Comment from rtobaygo

Excellent

Hello, Dean

Excellent, excellent ending, with just the proper mix of humor and horror.

The setting sun sent hues of fiery red, pink-tipped fingers reaching out across darkening summer skies. Great image.


Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015

Thank you, Ray, I will, and you do the same.--Dean

Comment from sibhus

Excellent

There's a reason your parents always said not to go out after dark, ha, ha. A really short little piece that def sends a chill up the spine. What ever it was it's not worth knowing about. good stuff, Dean.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

You got that right, Husker, heh-heh. It's probably best that we don't know.
I really appreciate you taking time out to read this, and thanks for the review. ~Dean :-]}

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

You have this gift of being able to turn anything into a sine chilling event in a single sentence. Now every reader will be wondering what it was out there. And th the silly thing is you don't hae to create anything, you never did create anything and yet it's as creepy as hell. Brilliant.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

Is it a gift, as you say, 'Gynt? Or a curse, as some would like me to believe. Well, I guess that all depends upon whose opinion you adhere to. My publisher thinks it's a gift, while my editor thinks that anything I write--horror or otherwise--is a curse to her.
But more importantly, I care what you--my friend and colleague-- thinks it is, not them (not really).
So, I bow to you in humble gratitude and say, "Thank you sir, for a lovely and very encouraging review."
Have a great day, 'Gynt, and thanks again, buddy~Dean ;}

Comment from justafan

Excellent

Yikes...Ya know I have the feeling as I go outside at night that I am being watched. I wonder how many of us feel this way. I am a sissy I guess. lol. This is a great addition to your book hon.

Always,
Missy

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

Thanks, Missy, and I don't believe that's being a "sissy" at all, not in the times we're living in today. That's just being aware of your surroundings and cautious. There's nothin' wrong with that.
Thanks a bunch for the review. ~Dean :)

reply by justafan on 25-Jul-2015

True dat!!! :)

Comment from Alan K Pease

Excellent

Frankie and Jimmy may have been touched by the hand of evil, although Jimmy may not realize it yet. Excellent story - creepy feelings.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

Creepy and eerie, rather than outright horrifying, was the feel I was going for in this story, Alan. So thank you for confirming it came across that way to you. I very much appreciate your review, my friend.
~Dean :)

Comment from Treischel

Excellent

Whew! That was a very close call with something evil lurking in the dark. Your told this tale of horror through very intense imagery and clever use of dialog. Amazing. Nobody even got hurt - yet. Still, it was chilling.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

Ha-ha, yeah, no one dies at the end (or anywhere else for that matter) in this kinder, gentler installment of Tiny Tales of Terror, Tom (how's THAT for a bit of alliteration I ask you? Your name starting with a "T", I simply couldn't resist, heh-heh.).
I've always been of the mind that horror doesn't have to be bloody, or gory, or excessively violent to give folks goosebumps. In fact, I shy away from it in the majority of my stories.
Thanks for the great review, buddy. I appreciate it. I'm glad you liked the story. ~Dean :)

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

TERRIFIC. SOUL JERKER. ABSOLUTLY WONDERFUL.
I got a little confused and when I read it for a second time, could you please explain if you have time.
On content and flow,, it is very good

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

When Frankie couldn't find his friend Jimmy in the house during a game of hide and seek, he assumed Jimmy left the house and hid outside. He didn't. He'd been hiding INSIDE the house the entire time. That means that whoever (or whatever) was outside in those bushes beckoning Frankie to come and pla-y-y-y-y-y-y was NOT Jimmy at all. It was something evil, something malevolent, something sinister.

Something hungry.

Thanks a bunch for your review. I hope I've answered your question.
~Dean :}

reply by Barb Hensongispsaca on 25-Jul-2015

Thank you now understand. read again and made sense. Loved it

reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

No worries, Barbara. Flash fiction works that way sometimes. It is to prose what haiku is to poetry.
I'm glad you "got it", and thanks so much again! ~Dean :)

Comment from Father Flaps

Excellent

Hi Dean
I wish I had a 6-star left. This is a great short horror story, spooky as ever. I could picture Frankie outside with this "fiend" coaxing him to "play". And all the while, Jimmy was still inside the house. It takes a lot of skill to pull off a good short story, let alone a tale of horror. This would be great at a campfire!
Two minor things to think about,

"Come on over," Jimmy coaxed. "Hurry...I want to play."
... (I wonder if you should identify the voice. Frankie thinks it's Jimmy, but perhaps you should just call it a "voice" or a "scratchy whisper".)

"Manhunt was the boys more sinister, modernized name for the centuries old game of Hide and Seek."... (I wonder if you should have an apostrophe after "boys" to show possession?)

You never fail to make me nervous, buddy! Good work!

cheers
Kimbob

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

Thanks for pointing out those errors, Kimbob. I will correct that grammar mistake right away.
I based this on an actual childhood experience. Of course, it wasn't some malevolent spirit or wronged spouse back from the grave seeking revenge that was making the come hither voice, not at all. It was another friend who had joined our game without my knowledge, then set out to scare me.
It worked!
I nearly wet myself when I saw Don ( my friend ) emerge for the house while I was hearing the beckoning voice off in the darkness from a completely different direction.

What's worse, they did it on purpose, heh-heh! I was set up. Scare tactics before the Scare Tactics television show was ever thought of.

Mich obliged for the review, my friend.

Comment from RPSaxena

Exceptional

Hello Dean Kuch,
It's a nice piece of Horror and Thriller Flash Fiction beautifully depicting its theme.
Wording is impressive and perfectly matching the theme.
Smooth and captivating flow from the beginning to the end.
"Whaddaya mean, idgit? I never went outside." These words make the story memorable.
On the whole, Interesting!

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

Thanks very much, RP. I appreciate your time spent reading and reviewing my story first and foremost--for giving it a shot. I also appreciate the generous six star rating. But more than the rating, I'm just really pleased to know that you enjoyed reading it.
Much appreciated, my friend. Have a great day today.
~Dean :}

Comment from Tomes Johnston

Excellent

This is yet another creepy tale that the author has created with this piece of work. These boys won't be going out in the dark for a while after this, if they ever venture out. I loved it. Well done.

 Comment Written 25-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my Tiny Tale, Tomes (how's that for alliteration, huh? LOL...). I sincerely appreciate it, my friend.
Take care, and have a fantastic day. ~Dean :}

reply by Tomes Johnston on 28-Jul-2015

Great stuff

reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015

Thanks! :}