Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

I think that you have come closer to describing paradise than anyone. It is all around us, if only we take the time to stop and look. We can become so busy making plans for the future or wallowing in the past that we forget to enjoy the present moment that contains all of paradise within it. I suspect that if all mankind could more often inhabit that fractional space called the present, all reasons for dissent would soon disappear.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015

I couldn't agree more. Thanks for taking the time to read my poem, and for your kind words :-)

Comment from amahra

Excellent

Mankind in paradise with no God. Sounds more like a nightmare. LOL I'm just kidding. I really loved the poem; it rhymed extremely well and no rhyme was forced. The rhythm also was very smooth and quite musical. And the art work was stunning. Great job.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015

Thank you so much for your kind comments. Unfortunately, I can't take credit for the photo, though I do think it's a stunner. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my work :)

Comment from ~Dovey

Exceptional

This is a Six without a doubt. While it is in contrast with the traditional view of Heaven, it really isn't. It is peace and tranquility personified. Your word choices and rhyme scheme are inspiring. This is a contest winner in my book! I wish you the best of luck!

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

I'm very glad you took the time to check out my poem,, thank you so much for your wonderful review!

Comment from MSJVClarke

Excellent

This was an interesting poem. It was well written, your verses flowed smoothly and I liked your rhyming sequence. I liked that you identified it as a dream in the beginning and wrapped it up when you came back to reality in the end. I especially liked the humbleness you showed with your prayer in the end.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Thank you for your kind words, and for appreciating my poem. Your encouragement means a lot :-)

reply by MSJVClarke on 04-Jun-2015

Comment from Carulhein

Excellent

What a wonderful poem. Wouldn't it be great if everyone on earth could live like that. "No us or them, just us".

Your poem truly moved me. Well done!

Carine


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Thanks so much for your very kind words and review, and for taking the time to check out my poem :-)

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

hi there,

This competition has thrown up a couple of good entries, of which this is one.

I liked the spiritual, and naturalistic aspect to it rather than the all singing all dancing mythos of heaven.

The rhyming structure and form worked well.
Nicely penned.

GMG

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Thank you, giraffmang, for taking the time to read my entry, and for your kind comments. They're much appreciated.

Comment from dragonpoet

Exceptional

This is a wonderful view of what life could be without war and without fights within and beteween religions. Though if we totally stopped killing what we call animals totally then there would be no food and a lot more starving people. It is hunting for fun that needs to be banned.

This would be a nice dream or maybe a near death experience since the speakers trip wasn't well planned.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Thank you so very much for the wonderful rating and for your very kind comments. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my little poem :-)

reply by dragonpoet on 04-Jun-2015

You're so very welcome. No problem.

dragonpoet