Good Job? What a Lie!
false praise harms our children30 total reviews
Comment from DALLAS01
When little Johnny or Mary goes out into the real world, our bubble-wrapped children will not be prepared for the expectations of employers. Having been coddled and praised for the smallest effort, they will have no standards by which to realistically assess their performance and may be shocked by the demands.
Bravo...this lines right up with my sister's contention that if a child is not challenged they will not perform. She taught fo 30 years and was appalled by the fact that so few expectations are placed on these kids...Giving a child who is capable of doing better a pat on the back, and telling them average is ok, deflates whatever ambitions they might have to improve. Perfectionism is not the goal, but progress should be.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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When little Johnny or Mary goes out into the real world, our bubble-wrapped children will not be prepared for the expectations of employers. Having been coddled and praised for the smallest effort, they will have no standards by which to realistically assess their performance and may be shocked by the demands.
Bravo...this lines right up with my sister's contention that if a child is not challenged they will not perform. She taught fo 30 years and was appalled by the fact that so few expectations are placed on these kids...Giving a child who is capable of doing better a pat on the back, and telling them average is ok, deflates whatever ambitions they might have to improve. Perfectionism is not the goal, but progress should be.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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In my own family, for God's sake. It's our long weekend here, anf though ?I suggested Aiden spend a few hours here this weekend, I'm afraid Dad thinks it might interfere with their fun. Even my own son doesn't realize this is a form of child abuse. Oh, I'm pissed!
Thanks for the support and stars.
Comment from Jay Squires
I love the hell out of this post, Ingrid. You know if I had one I'd give it to you.
"Every child wants to see their efforts rewarded." [I realize this is dialogue, but it a teacher's dialogue about grammar errors, so consider changing it to "Every child wants to see HIS efforts rewarded" or " ... HIS OR HER efforts rewarded." To my way of thinking this is one of the rules of Grammar that needs to evolve."
Even Grandma, me, was oblivious to his lethargy. [Suggest you eliminate "me" above. It's explained in the next sentence who Grandma was. Besides, to be correct you'd have to change it to "I", which, while correct, sounds clunky.]
will not be prepared for the expectations of employers. [Not to mention that, since it's endemic (the same situation in the US), over the long haul, won't the employer have to lower his expectations to the water level the employee has made the norm? With some research, there's your article (or book, even) the public needs.]
Good job, Ingrid. Says Jay, attempting humor. Seriously, you've tapped into a subject that really needs exploration. You are FanStory's woman of ideas!
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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I love the hell out of this post, Ingrid. You know if I had one I'd give it to you.
"Every child wants to see their efforts rewarded." [I realize this is dialogue, but it a teacher's dialogue about grammar errors, so consider changing it to "Every child wants to see HIS efforts rewarded" or " ... HIS OR HER efforts rewarded." To my way of thinking this is one of the rules of Grammar that needs to evolve."
Even Grandma, me, was oblivious to his lethargy. [Suggest you eliminate "me" above. It's explained in the next sentence who Grandma was. Besides, to be correct you'd have to change it to "I", which, while correct, sounds clunky.]
will not be prepared for the expectations of employers. [Not to mention that, since it's endemic (the same situation in the US), over the long haul, won't the employer have to lower his expectations to the water level the employee has made the norm? With some research, there's your article (or book, even) the public needs.]
Good job, Ingrid. Says Jay, attempting humor. Seriously, you've tapped into a subject that really needs exploration. You are FanStory's woman of ideas!
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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The proper pronoun is something you've warned me about repeatedly and it still slips by me, but hopefully it will stick. I think it's far more serious than employers lowering expectations. In our global work force, the Asian countries have a far superior standard towards education. I worked for a Chinese firm and virtually all of the management were sent to the UK or prestigious universities in the States. The investment of families in education was enormous. What I see already happening is the high employment of the Chinese in our own countries. And, the men and women deserve the jobs, they didn't steal them. I'm afraid the apathetic lip service and North American arrogance (both Canada and US) that believe employer MUST support domestic assets is at odds with stockholders expectations. We are the authors of our own literacy demise. And, it's happening in my own family.
Yes, giggle, I enjoyed the third person ending.
Comment from maggieadams
Well, if you're concerned about coddling in Canadian schools, you should hear the horror stories in our American public schools...your grandson is so lucky to have a grandma that cares in the right way...make him accountable for his learning....our country is in real trouble for many of the reasons you so nimbly pointed out....our kids have learned to point fingers, they feel entitled and are wholly unprepared for even the slightest bit of rejection or constructive criticism...we need to quit throwing money at the problem and give parents school choice with a caveat...they must choose to be involved and accept consequences.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Well, if you're concerned about coddling in Canadian schools, you should hear the horror stories in our American public schools...your grandson is so lucky to have a grandma that cares in the right way...make him accountable for his learning....our country is in real trouble for many of the reasons you so nimbly pointed out....our kids have learned to point fingers, they feel entitled and are wholly unprepared for even the slightest bit of rejection or constructive criticism...we need to quit throwing money at the problem and give parents school choice with a caveat...they must choose to be involved and accept consequences.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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When a country has 330M people, there has to be pockets of excellence and pools of despair, in every aspect of life, including schooling. Can you believe I threw $3K at the kid's future and I had NO idea what was really going on? Thanks for the stars.
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It's maddening, really...and you're right...we have a widening gap just like Karl Marx predicted, but government is not the answer...competition coupled with realistic opportunity is the solution in my opinion. We need to quit enabling our youth and telling them they are victims.(they need a dose of reality).
Comment from LIJ Red
Our schools in the USA tested 36th out of the top 65 civilized countries. Not a really breathtaking finish when you consider that we spend more on public schools that any other nation. Excellent essay.
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Our schools in the USA tested 36th out of the top 65 civilized countries. Not a really breathtaking finish when you consider that we spend more on public schools that any other nation. Excellent essay.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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What irony, that one of the greatest nations on Earth shows up as average! Thanks for that info...I think.
Comment from Dawn Munro
KUDOS! EXACTLY! Case in point - In 1992, I returned to college to study Advertising (at a mature age) (and met another 'mature student' - we became 'fast friends', and remain so to this day. I mention her because I need you to understand I was not alone in my opinion.)
Our class was made up of kids who wanted to work in the Advertising/Marketing industry - copywriters, and so on - more than half of them could barely spell their own names, let alone even define the WORD 'grammar'.
What's wrong with inspiring a child to learn, to seek to be the best that he or she can be?
I say again - BRAVO! I wish I had a six (again), because your piece shows how it's done and addresses a HUGE issue, IMO. These kids are the ones who are, or will be, in control of our societies. (Any wonder we have mounting problems...?)
EXCEPTIONAL!!!
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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KUDOS! EXACTLY! Case in point - In 1992, I returned to college to study Advertising (at a mature age) (and met another 'mature student' - we became 'fast friends', and remain so to this day. I mention her because I need you to understand I was not alone in my opinion.)
Our class was made up of kids who wanted to work in the Advertising/Marketing industry - copywriters, and so on - more than half of them could barely spell their own names, let alone even define the WORD 'grammar'.
What's wrong with inspiring a child to learn, to seek to be the best that he or she can be?
I say again - BRAVO! I wish I had a six (again), because your piece shows how it's done and addresses a HUGE issue, IMO. These kids are the ones who are, or will be, in control of our societies. (Any wonder we have mounting problems...?)
EXCEPTIONAL!!!
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks. You can imagine my ire to discover all this after my financial investment.
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OH, yeah...
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Just read this out to Bill. Excellent essay, Ingrid. Once again, I shall say it; this, and many of your other essays, should be published elsewhere. Bill said you should send a copy to the Minister of Education as well as copies to the major Canuck newspapers and even the minor newspapers.
Get a blog going, woman. Seriously. You have a true talent for this stuff and it should be shared beyond this site.
Bravo.
Av
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Just read this out to Bill. Excellent essay, Ingrid. Once again, I shall say it; this, and many of your other essays, should be published elsewhere. Bill said you should send a copy to the Minister of Education as well as copies to the major Canuck newspapers and even the minor newspapers.
Get a blog going, woman. Seriously. You have a true talent for this stuff and it should be shared beyond this site.
Bravo.
Av
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Guess who inspired this talk about posted work without corrections? OK, you're right. Tomorrow I'll E-mail a copy of this essay to 2-3 newspapers. Thanks for the stars.
Just got told that my Katy has bone cancer on her face. Grateful for the years, but not ready to let go. Will know when the time comes.
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Oh, poor wee kitty! :( I'm truly sorry to hear that.
Comment from judester
Bravo you. I feel the same way, they are causing long term damage by denying the child the truth. By accepting sub standard results, the child will never even know how to achieve and set goals. I really enjoy your style, bless, judester
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Bravo you. I feel the same way, they are causing long term damage by denying the child the truth. By accepting sub standard results, the child will never even know how to achieve and set goals. I really enjoy your style, bless, judester
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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They will also be denied the real joy of a reward that is earned. Thanks.
Comment from Sasha
This clearly deserves a 6 but it is Saturday and as usual, I am out. I didn't learn to read until the 7th grade...I was passed on to the next grade with generous C's and few if any comments on my performance. I thought I was stupid and if ever there was a time with I had low self-esteem it was in grade school. Only when a teacher took me under his wing and told me my progress was pathetic and he spend hours teaching me how to read and write. Had he not done that, I often wonder if I ever would have learned how to read. Great work with this one...or, in your words, good job!
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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This clearly deserves a 6 but it is Saturday and as usual, I am out. I didn't learn to read until the 7th grade...I was passed on to the next grade with generous C's and few if any comments on my performance. I thought I was stupid and if ever there was a time with I had low self-esteem it was in grade school. Only when a teacher took me under his wing and told me my progress was pathetic and he spend hours teaching me how to read and write. Had he not done that, I often wonder if I ever would have learned how to read. Great work with this one...or, in your words, good job!
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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You should write that story. Can be fiction, but it is very timely as the school year comes to a close, how one teacher made a difference, He literally changed your life. Thanks.
Comment from Sis Cat
This is a strong essay about the causes and consequence of mediocrity in schools. Your topic is relevant and your message well conveyed. Yes, dare to be hated by telling your child about the mediocrity of his work. Push him to ex Excellence. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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This is a strong essay about the causes and consequence of mediocrity in schools. Your topic is relevant and your message well conveyed. Yes, dare to be hated by telling your child about the mediocrity of his work. Push him to ex Excellence. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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Thanks. I mean it! Come the week after commencement, his ass is mine! If he remembers me for nothing else, he'll remember the summer of 2015. Thanks.
Comment from patcelaw
This is an excellent essay about rewarding children. Children need to know what is expected of them. They need to know the rules of the classroom, the rules in their homes and need to know that bad behavior is nothing to laugh about. Little ones need to know the meaning of no at an early age, and if a parent punishes a child, then doesn't punish for the same offense later, it is confusing to the child. Teachers and parents need to work in tandem to produce the right behavior in a child. IMHO
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reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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This is an excellent essay about rewarding children. Children need to know what is expected of them. They need to know the rules of the classroom, the rules in their homes and need to know that bad behavior is nothing to laugh about. Little ones need to know the meaning of no at an early age, and if a parent punishes a child, then doesn't punish for the same offense later, it is confusing to the child. Teachers and parents need to work in tandem to produce the right behavior in a child. IMHO
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 16-May-2015
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No question, we agree on all points. Thanks.